Saturday, January 31, 2004
Is synchronicity an indication of being on the right path?
I'd never thought about it before, but I read something today that opined that synchronous events were a sign that you were doing the right thing, and it made me wonder; COULD following the optimal karmic path bring you more incidents of synchronicity? You can make a case for it, that the optimal path will be the one where the most side-paths converge, bringing the most opportunity into your life; those convergence points would be powerful, and draw similar things towards each other more strongly than usual, leading to greater amounts of synchronicity... maybe. I'm going to pay more attention in the future and see if I can find this particular pattern; just because a case can be made for it doesn't mean it's true.
Friday, January 30, 2004
The "it won't happen to ME" syndrome, and the truth about love
There are countless examples of this; every person who smokes believing themselves to be magically immune to lung cancer, or who drinks and drives because they think THEY won't be in an accident, or who cheats on their taxes because they're SURE they'll never be audited, or who walks alone in a dangerous neighborhood because only OTHER people get mugged...
The one that drives me absolutely BONKERS, though, is where women (sometimes men, but usually women) say, "Well, yes, he lied to and cheated on his last girlfriend to be with me, but he'll never do that to ME." What PLANET are these women from? They end UP on Planet Jerry Springer, fighting and cursing over some worthless piece of sh*t man that no sane woman would take as a GIFT.
Why is it that every cheating man has multiple women willing to battle over him, when every woman should turn from him in loathing and disgust? How stupid are these women who think that the proven cheater is going to go home with them and treat them with respect?
A possible answer has popped up in Cosmo, of all places, courtesy of anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD, who did an intensive brain-scan study of people who had just fallen madly in love, and discovered.... that love is NOT an emotion. To quote: "...romantic love stimulates the section of the brain associated with focused motivation and drive to win an award, such as food and sex, as opposed to emotional centers like happiness and sadness." This is mindboggling overall, but when I put aside my astonishment at finding even such a basic thing as love being an emotion being disproven, I can see why people do psychotic things, and maintain psychotic beliefs, about a person who is objectively not worth it.
Don't get me wrong, I STILL say it's stupid to clutch and cling to a partner who has PROVEN their worthlessness, and, since we have brains and the ability to reason, I also say that people can and SHOULD stop in their tracks and do an analysis of the situation when they see that they are getting involved with someone who is a proven wrongdoer, or if they discover that their partner has misbehaved, and make the intelligent choice, the one that shows some self-respect and gets them AWAY from the scumbag. Love is NOT a mystical emotion, or even an emotion at all; there's no point in following your heart, because all you're following is a blind instinctual drive like the one to find food.
Follow your BRAIN; intellect will rarely let you down. Love someone who is worthy of your affection and is capable of returning it; if someone mistreats you, kick them to the curb. Karma will reward you for doing the right thing by bringing you someone better; I sent the man who had been the great love of my entire life away right before my 30th birthday, because I saw that he would never treat me as I deserved, and a few months later I met the man that I've been with for nearly a decade... which is a heck of alot better than ending up as fodder for Jerry Springer.
The one that drives me absolutely BONKERS, though, is where women (sometimes men, but usually women) say, "Well, yes, he lied to and cheated on his last girlfriend to be with me, but he'll never do that to ME." What PLANET are these women from? They end UP on Planet Jerry Springer, fighting and cursing over some worthless piece of sh*t man that no sane woman would take as a GIFT.
Why is it that every cheating man has multiple women willing to battle over him, when every woman should turn from him in loathing and disgust? How stupid are these women who think that the proven cheater is going to go home with them and treat them with respect?
A possible answer has popped up in Cosmo, of all places, courtesy of anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD, who did an intensive brain-scan study of people who had just fallen madly in love, and discovered.... that love is NOT an emotion. To quote: "...romantic love stimulates the section of the brain associated with focused motivation and drive to win an award, such as food and sex, as opposed to emotional centers like happiness and sadness." This is mindboggling overall, but when I put aside my astonishment at finding even such a basic thing as love being an emotion being disproven, I can see why people do psychotic things, and maintain psychotic beliefs, about a person who is objectively not worth it.
Don't get me wrong, I STILL say it's stupid to clutch and cling to a partner who has PROVEN their worthlessness, and, since we have brains and the ability to reason, I also say that people can and SHOULD stop in their tracks and do an analysis of the situation when they see that they are getting involved with someone who is a proven wrongdoer, or if they discover that their partner has misbehaved, and make the intelligent choice, the one that shows some self-respect and gets them AWAY from the scumbag. Love is NOT a mystical emotion, or even an emotion at all; there's no point in following your heart, because all you're following is a blind instinctual drive like the one to find food.
Follow your BRAIN; intellect will rarely let you down. Love someone who is worthy of your affection and is capable of returning it; if someone mistreats you, kick them to the curb. Karma will reward you for doing the right thing by bringing you someone better; I sent the man who had been the great love of my entire life away right before my 30th birthday, because I saw that he would never treat me as I deserved, and a few months later I met the man that I've been with for nearly a decade... which is a heck of alot better than ending up as fodder for Jerry Springer.
Thursday, January 29, 2004
Horror movies have nothing on my dreams
Author Stephen King has said that a vivid imagination isn't always a good thing, that it can turn on you like a cannibal with razors for teeth; he is SO right. Karma is behind the phrase that gets applied to almost everything that seems good at first glance, "it's a 2-edged sword"; almost nothing in the natural world is purely good, because there's a way to harm yourself or someone else with virtually anything, and karma is a part of nature and follows the same patterns as other elements of nature do.
Last night I dreamed that I saw one of my loved ones, or rather her corpse, because she's dead; the corpse was animated, walking around and seeming aware and alive, except that I KNEW, even within the dream, that she was dead and that it WAS her corpse that I was interacting with. I watched her turn on a gas stove so that the flames leapt up easily 2 feet and put her hands into them; I watched the flames come bursting out through her neck and engulf her. I was unable to move from where I stood, and my terrified shrieks at my husband, who was standing nearby, to help her were ignored; while the latter is simply an extension of my husband's general unreliability and slowness to respond when called for in a crisis, the ghoulish spectacle of the corpse of someone I loved dearly is so upsetting that I can't link it to any particular subconscious message..... my mind is going to have to come up with a FAR less horrific image to get through to me on this one.
Last night I dreamed that I saw one of my loved ones, or rather her corpse, because she's dead; the corpse was animated, walking around and seeming aware and alive, except that I KNEW, even within the dream, that she was dead and that it WAS her corpse that I was interacting with. I watched her turn on a gas stove so that the flames leapt up easily 2 feet and put her hands into them; I watched the flames come bursting out through her neck and engulf her. I was unable to move from where I stood, and my terrified shrieks at my husband, who was standing nearby, to help her were ignored; while the latter is simply an extension of my husband's general unreliability and slowness to respond when called for in a crisis, the ghoulish spectacle of the corpse of someone I loved dearly is so upsetting that I can't link it to any particular subconscious message..... my mind is going to have to come up with a FAR less horrific image to get through to me on this one.
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Exercise your right to HATE exercise
How many times have you read that exercise will make you feel GOOD? Have you ever wondered why, if this is so, the vast majority of people are unable to keep up an exercise routine? Although there clearly ARE some people who get a rush or high from exercising, the truth for most of us is that exercise feels BAD, and that's why we're so resistant to doing it, even when we've paid a fortune for equipment or gym memberships.
The reality is that any sort movement that counts as exercise is at the very least uncomfortable, if not outright painful, and every moment you're exercising increases that discomfort/pain. Most exercises hurt your back and/or neck in addition to whatever muscles you're actually exercising, and that gets worse as you get older. If you're exercising standing up, your feet will hurt, and if you're having to strain you may get a headache. Getting heated up and sweating aren't fun, especially when your clothing starts to stick or chafe. You get steadily more tired and sore, and you can't stop as your body is telling you to-you have to keep on going, feeling worse and worse with every passing moment.
Exercise is supposed to relieve tension and stress, but if you're gritting your teeth and forcing yourself to do an unpleasant thing that you hate, that's NOT going to make you relaxed. You're supposed to sleep better on a day you've exercised, but I find that being stressed out and keyed up by forcing myself through those motions makes it HARDER to sleep, not easier. Exercising is supposed to even reduce your appetite, but I find that it makes me VERY hungry, and, since I can't eat extra to counteract that without gaining weight, I have to suffer extra hunger on top of everything else.
Exercise provides us with endless health benefits, so they're trying to get us to do it more, or at all, and they're failing miserably; is there any doubt why? We're VERY averse to discomfort of any sort, we don't have time for the fun stuff much less the unpleasant stuff, and we're far too stressed to voluntarily get more stress by forcing ourselves into the gym. Medical researchers need to take the $ they're wasting on pro-exercise campaigns and use it to come up with things that will give us the benefits of exercise without the sweat. They can already electrostimulate muscles to a certain extent, and they've discovered some chemicals that make the muscle tissues in animals undergo changes as if they had exercised; pitiful as it sounds, we need something like that for the majority of us to EVER get the health benefits of exercising.
The reality is that any sort movement that counts as exercise is at the very least uncomfortable, if not outright painful, and every moment you're exercising increases that discomfort/pain. Most exercises hurt your back and/or neck in addition to whatever muscles you're actually exercising, and that gets worse as you get older. If you're exercising standing up, your feet will hurt, and if you're having to strain you may get a headache. Getting heated up and sweating aren't fun, especially when your clothing starts to stick or chafe. You get steadily more tired and sore, and you can't stop as your body is telling you to-you have to keep on going, feeling worse and worse with every passing moment.
Exercise is supposed to relieve tension and stress, but if you're gritting your teeth and forcing yourself to do an unpleasant thing that you hate, that's NOT going to make you relaxed. You're supposed to sleep better on a day you've exercised, but I find that being stressed out and keyed up by forcing myself through those motions makes it HARDER to sleep, not easier. Exercising is supposed to even reduce your appetite, but I find that it makes me VERY hungry, and, since I can't eat extra to counteract that without gaining weight, I have to suffer extra hunger on top of everything else.
Exercise provides us with endless health benefits, so they're trying to get us to do it more, or at all, and they're failing miserably; is there any doubt why? We're VERY averse to discomfort of any sort, we don't have time for the fun stuff much less the unpleasant stuff, and we're far too stressed to voluntarily get more stress by forcing ourselves into the gym. Medical researchers need to take the $ they're wasting on pro-exercise campaigns and use it to come up with things that will give us the benefits of exercise without the sweat. They can already electrostimulate muscles to a certain extent, and they've discovered some chemicals that make the muscle tissues in animals undergo changes as if they had exercised; pitiful as it sounds, we need something like that for the majority of us to EVER get the health benefits of exercising.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Karmic balance
Many geographically distant cultures have the belief that they have to hide their good fortune from the gods (or evil spirits, demons, etc), because the gods would take away the good fortune and/or bring grief if they knew... in other words, that there were forces outside of their control that would potentially act to keep them from getting and staying "ahead" luckwise. Either we have to view all of these cultures as excessively paranoid, or we have to accept that a whole lot of people have seen that something bad often happens to counteract something good that's happened (too bad they hadn't grasped that "giving back" creates balance and protects the good fortune, as we have in the modern Western world).
My own life is a glaring example of this going on; without exception, when I get something good, something bad enough to kill all my joy happens within 48 hours, usually within 24 hours, and often so close on the heels of the good event that it's as if someone were watching me, waiting to throw a switch to dump the bad thing on me as soon as the good thing happens. I'll get dropped off by a friend after a great day out, and get to savor it for about 3 seconds, because when I open the door I discover that my husband left the freezer standing wide open for 8 hours and defrosted $200 worth of groceries. As I'm yelping in triumph over having won an auction and gotten a great deal, my husband is yelling in the kitchen because he just destroyed something of mine.
Because I don't see an organized intelligence, or a being or any kind, behind the wheel of karma, I don't think it's possible to "protect" one's good fortune by hiding it; it's therefore desperately important to keep your karma as clean as possible, and "give back" when fortune smiles on you.
My own life is a glaring example of this going on; without exception, when I get something good, something bad enough to kill all my joy happens within 48 hours, usually within 24 hours, and often so close on the heels of the good event that it's as if someone were watching me, waiting to throw a switch to dump the bad thing on me as soon as the good thing happens. I'll get dropped off by a friend after a great day out, and get to savor it for about 3 seconds, because when I open the door I discover that my husband left the freezer standing wide open for 8 hours and defrosted $200 worth of groceries. As I'm yelping in triumph over having won an auction and gotten a great deal, my husband is yelling in the kitchen because he just destroyed something of mine.
Because I don't see an organized intelligence, or a being or any kind, behind the wheel of karma, I don't think it's possible to "protect" one's good fortune by hiding it; it's therefore desperately important to keep your karma as clean as possible, and "give back" when fortune smiles on you.
Monday, January 26, 2004
On the average, we are all... AVERAGE
If you asked someone if they thought that they, or any of their loved ones, are AVERAGE, you know what their response would be; no way!! No one seems to see any illogic in believing that everyone they know is ABOVE average; where do you suppose they think that all the average and below-average people are hiding, since they never encounter any themselves?
The reality is that the overwhelming majority of us ARE average, both in individual areas like looks and overall, and that as many of us are BELOW average as are ABOVE average in any area, so why do we all act as if being average were equivalent to being scum? Why have we become so emotionally dependent on believing that we are better than the majority of people? That's what it MEANS to be above average, and, although few of us would say straight out that we're better than most, and may not have ever thought about this concept in that form, most of us DO believe just that.
I think it was Stephen Wright who said "You're special... just like everyone else." Since "special" is another way of saying "above average," guess what; most of us are NOT special. Yes, "special" can also mean "unique," but even the scummiest person on Earth is unique... that's NOT what we mean when we say "special."
This detachment from reality really messes us up in the romantic arena, because it gives us a lack of understanding of what sort of partner we should be looking for. Ask anyone what their requirements are for a relationship prospect, and they'll rattle off a lengthy list of traits including everything from beauty to success to gourmet cooking ability; ask them if THEY possess all those qualities, and they'll sputter helplessly in reply, because the answer is always NO. They may then try to frame an argument for why they should be able to get someone who is in effect so much better than they are that they would never give them the time of day much less a relationship... because well-meaning loved ones have been TELLING them for years how well ABOVE average they are, and how they're therefore deserving of the most fabulous person in the world, and they've bought into it.
You and everyone you know are probably wonderful; most people, most standard, ordinary, average people, ARE wonderful, luckily. The sad reality is that "wonderfulness" won't make a rock star ignore the supermodels and go out with you, or a supermodel ignore the rock stars and go out with you; these folks have standards far too high for them to take a chance on average folks like us, even if we are less shallow, more kind, and perhaps more compatible with them in the ways that count than the twits they date. Even someone with a high level of beauty, success, intelligence, wit, humor, charm, etc who is NOT famous will still be looking for the 1 person in a million who also has those qualities... and that probably won't be anyone you know.
By all means, believe that you and all your loved ones are terrific, and look for romantic partners who are terrific in ways that are uniquely suited to you... just understand that you're not BETTER than everyone else, and that you shouldn't expect your partner to be better than everyone else. Instead of focusing on finding a mate who is above average in ways that don't actually affect their ability to have a good relationship, how about just looking for someone who will make you happy? And, think about it; are "the beautiful people" ever happy in their relationships? No, so why would we WANT to have partners like them even if we COULD? Be happy to be average, to be surrounded by average people, and to have a choice from so many average people for romantic relationships; studies show that the average person is pretty satisfied with their life, and that's not a bad deal.
The reality is that the overwhelming majority of us ARE average, both in individual areas like looks and overall, and that as many of us are BELOW average as are ABOVE average in any area, so why do we all act as if being average were equivalent to being scum? Why have we become so emotionally dependent on believing that we are better than the majority of people? That's what it MEANS to be above average, and, although few of us would say straight out that we're better than most, and may not have ever thought about this concept in that form, most of us DO believe just that.
I think it was Stephen Wright who said "You're special... just like everyone else." Since "special" is another way of saying "above average," guess what; most of us are NOT special. Yes, "special" can also mean "unique," but even the scummiest person on Earth is unique... that's NOT what we mean when we say "special."
This detachment from reality really messes us up in the romantic arena, because it gives us a lack of understanding of what sort of partner we should be looking for. Ask anyone what their requirements are for a relationship prospect, and they'll rattle off a lengthy list of traits including everything from beauty to success to gourmet cooking ability; ask them if THEY possess all those qualities, and they'll sputter helplessly in reply, because the answer is always NO. They may then try to frame an argument for why they should be able to get someone who is in effect so much better than they are that they would never give them the time of day much less a relationship... because well-meaning loved ones have been TELLING them for years how well ABOVE average they are, and how they're therefore deserving of the most fabulous person in the world, and they've bought into it.
You and everyone you know are probably wonderful; most people, most standard, ordinary, average people, ARE wonderful, luckily. The sad reality is that "wonderfulness" won't make a rock star ignore the supermodels and go out with you, or a supermodel ignore the rock stars and go out with you; these folks have standards far too high for them to take a chance on average folks like us, even if we are less shallow, more kind, and perhaps more compatible with them in the ways that count than the twits they date. Even someone with a high level of beauty, success, intelligence, wit, humor, charm, etc who is NOT famous will still be looking for the 1 person in a million who also has those qualities... and that probably won't be anyone you know.
By all means, believe that you and all your loved ones are terrific, and look for romantic partners who are terrific in ways that are uniquely suited to you... just understand that you're not BETTER than everyone else, and that you shouldn't expect your partner to be better than everyone else. Instead of focusing on finding a mate who is above average in ways that don't actually affect their ability to have a good relationship, how about just looking for someone who will make you happy? And, think about it; are "the beautiful people" ever happy in their relationships? No, so why would we WANT to have partners like them even if we COULD? Be happy to be average, to be surrounded by average people, and to have a choice from so many average people for romantic relationships; studies show that the average person is pretty satisfied with their life, and that's not a bad deal.
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Karma=Energy
On a certain level, it really IS that simple. Everything we do, say, think or feel creates energy of various sorts; sound, movement, heat, electrochemical churnings in the brain... all of that is energy that can change forms, change location, but NEVER be destroyed.
Where does all this energy GO, then, after we create it? It dissipates beyond our ability to detect it, and then becomes part of the fabric of the universe(s), FOREVER. It joins the infinite # of energy emanations from everyone else in the world and forms a record of everything we've ever done, said, thought or felt. My best guess is that all of these different kinds of energy become one kind of energy (of a type not yet recognized by science), or one of a spectrum of varieties of "karmic energy," or else we'd be able to perceive the accumulated power.
The actual form of this karmic energy "fabric" is beyond direct perception, but we can deduce something of its nature from the way it behaves. It clearly creates the pathways along which your life can travel; the ability of people to see even tiny bits of the future means that there IS some degree of predestination, which may, in many cases, exist in the form of probabilities, much like quantum experiments which come out different ways based on things like whether or not anyone is watching, giving you some flexibility as to whether things happen in that way or not.
There would also have to be pathways via which "things" can get to you; these things might be rewards, punishments, semi-random fillers for the "holes" left by an imbalance in your give/take patterns, or just whatever you happened to be needing, wanting or thinking about at any given time ("synchronicity").
This idea of energies going out and then coming back, and these energies being the basis of your fate/destiny, is what most people see as being "karma." Because much of this comes from the energy of our thoughts/souls, I add ESP and spirits to the equation, and, because everything that happens beyond our perceptions has to be tied together in some way, I also include whatever is responsible for the impossible realities of quantum physics in my definition of karma.
They haven't been able to come up with a Unified Field Theory yet, not only because they don't really understand the forces we ARE aware of (gravity doesn't work like we thought it did, the strong force has apparently been calculated all wrong, etc), but because they're not even aware of all the types of energies surrounding us. The day they make the first concrete discovery in this area, the first measurement of these energies, will mark the entry into a whole new level of human civilization.
Where does all this energy GO, then, after we create it? It dissipates beyond our ability to detect it, and then becomes part of the fabric of the universe(s), FOREVER. It joins the infinite # of energy emanations from everyone else in the world and forms a record of everything we've ever done, said, thought or felt. My best guess is that all of these different kinds of energy become one kind of energy (of a type not yet recognized by science), or one of a spectrum of varieties of "karmic energy," or else we'd be able to perceive the accumulated power.
The actual form of this karmic energy "fabric" is beyond direct perception, but we can deduce something of its nature from the way it behaves. It clearly creates the pathways along which your life can travel; the ability of people to see even tiny bits of the future means that there IS some degree of predestination, which may, in many cases, exist in the form of probabilities, much like quantum experiments which come out different ways based on things like whether or not anyone is watching, giving you some flexibility as to whether things happen in that way or not.
There would also have to be pathways via which "things" can get to you; these things might be rewards, punishments, semi-random fillers for the "holes" left by an imbalance in your give/take patterns, or just whatever you happened to be needing, wanting or thinking about at any given time ("synchronicity").
This idea of energies going out and then coming back, and these energies being the basis of your fate/destiny, is what most people see as being "karma." Because much of this comes from the energy of our thoughts/souls, I add ESP and spirits to the equation, and, because everything that happens beyond our perceptions has to be tied together in some way, I also include whatever is responsible for the impossible realities of quantum physics in my definition of karma.
They haven't been able to come up with a Unified Field Theory yet, not only because they don't really understand the forces we ARE aware of (gravity doesn't work like we thought it did, the strong force has apparently been calculated all wrong, etc), but because they're not even aware of all the types of energies surrounding us. The day they make the first concrete discovery in this area, the first measurement of these energies, will mark the entry into a whole new level of human civilization.
