Saturday, August 20, 2005
It's time to stop compromising
I remember a guy I dated once many years ago saying something that horrified me at the time; that he thought that having to compromise in a relationship meant that it was a BAD relationship. That seemed crazy, because, since any 2 normal people will have many instances when they don't want the exact same thing at the exact some time, unless 1 of them was unimaginably submissive there'd be endless times when they'd have to come up with a decision that both agreed with... and how could they do that if they didn't compromise?
I've been with my husband for more than half of my adult life, and I've discovered an astonishing thing; compromise, which everyone I've ever encountered other than the aforementioned guy has sung the praises of, is actually NOT a good thing most of the time, because it means that NEITHER person is getting what they want, and if the members of a romantic couple are regularly encountering situations where neither of them can get what they want, that probably IS a bad relationship.
I can just hear the howls of protest, but think about it; sure, you can come up with situations where a compromise creates an outcome that's satisfactory to both parties, usually when they want basically the same thing and it's only the timing, the amount of $ to be spent, or something else of that nature that's at issue (eg getting a $20k car rather than a $15k or $25k car), or when neither really dislikes the other's preference and they can alternate without hardship (eg Mexican food today, Italian food tomorrow)... but other than that, doesn't compromising really mean picking something that neither prefers, but neither hates, which means that neither person has given in, or been dominated, but leaving both parties dissatisfied?
Perhaps this is why folks these days ignore the fact that a too-similar partner can quickly become boring and predictable and look for partners they have alot in common with; to avoid what are essentially no-win situations under the guise of compromising. The sad thing is that most people willfully ignore those ultra-important things for which there's no possible compromise; you're either married or you're not, you either have kids or you don't, you can only live in one place (unless you're wealthy and are both your own bosses), it's very unlikely that you can alter your level of sex drive, etc. Just as bad are the things for which there ARE technically compromises, but that are too emotionally-charged for many people to be willing to maintain a compromise long-term about, such as how $ is to be handled and how children should be raised. We've become a nation of gray areas, but some things are still black and white... and that means that sometimes people who love each other won't be able to be together and be happy, no matter HOW passionately they believe that there's a compromise for everything.
Being able to compromise is a sign of maturity, and knowing how to achieve a fast and fair compromise is an important skill needed in all sorts of interactions with other people, granted, but within our own homes, within our most personal relationships, we want things to be the way we like them pretty consistently, and we do NOT like having to discuss, or "discuss" (which means "argue" for people too touchy-feely to admit they're doing anything as unevolved as arguing) too many things that'll lead to outcomes that satisfy neither us nor our mate... and that means we need to focus on other ways to decide who gets to have what they want, ways that don't involve endless negotiating or neither person ever getting what they prefer (needless to say, both halves of a couple need to be willing to follow these guidelines, and be mature enough to stick to them, for any of this to work):
1) If it's something you don't care about, and the other person does, do it their way.
2) If neither person cares that much, once one person makes a suggestion, the other should say "ok."
3) When making a purchase significant enough for both parties to be involved (such as furniture, appliances or vehicles), instead of each person checking out the options, falling in love with one, and fighting to the death over it, assign one person the decision-making power, and the other person provides a REASONABLE list of requirements for the item, and has veto power to ONLY be used in cases of failure to fulfill the agreed-upon requirements or the belated realization of some other SIGNIFICANT requirement for the purchase. (For example, for our most recent car purchase, I told my husband that I wanted an American car with functioning air conditioning, above the size of a compact and below a certain dollar amount; he did some research, went out and bought the car.)
4) For certain things, decide that one particular person should reasonably have the final say; for example, my husband's the tech-ier one, so he makes the final decisions about equipment purchases, and I'm the one with a clue about decorating, so I make the final decisions about stuff for our home.
5) Whichever partner is the bigger screw-up should make up for it by letting the other person have their way; the more they screw up, the more they should give up having their way.
6) Whichever partner has the higher sex drive should stack the deck in their favor by letting the other person have their way in other areas.
7) Make the liberating decision that you do NOT have to stick to traditional forms; you do NOT have to eat the same thing for dinner, go to bed at the same time, get up at the same time, watch TV together, or any of the other lock-step stuff we associate with couplehood... so if you have different schedules or needs, do your own thing when it's convenient, as long as you're making time to be together too.
8) Periodically, when you feel emotionally able, choose to GIVE the other person their way as a gift, and enjoy how happy it makes them.
9) Feel free to use barter or bribery to get your way; they make both people happy, and so are valid options.
10) Don't try to change the other person's preferences; either learn to live with them, and work around them, or accept that you're not compatible.
My husband and I have about as little in common as possible without one of us being from another planet, and we manage pretty well with these methods; if you're tired of compromising and not getting what you want, give them a try.
I've been with my husband for more than half of my adult life, and I've discovered an astonishing thing; compromise, which everyone I've ever encountered other than the aforementioned guy has sung the praises of, is actually NOT a good thing most of the time, because it means that NEITHER person is getting what they want, and if the members of a romantic couple are regularly encountering situations where neither of them can get what they want, that probably IS a bad relationship.
I can just hear the howls of protest, but think about it; sure, you can come up with situations where a compromise creates an outcome that's satisfactory to both parties, usually when they want basically the same thing and it's only the timing, the amount of $ to be spent, or something else of that nature that's at issue (eg getting a $20k car rather than a $15k or $25k car), or when neither really dislikes the other's preference and they can alternate without hardship (eg Mexican food today, Italian food tomorrow)... but other than that, doesn't compromising really mean picking something that neither prefers, but neither hates, which means that neither person has given in, or been dominated, but leaving both parties dissatisfied?
Perhaps this is why folks these days ignore the fact that a too-similar partner can quickly become boring and predictable and look for partners they have alot in common with; to avoid what are essentially no-win situations under the guise of compromising. The sad thing is that most people willfully ignore those ultra-important things for which there's no possible compromise; you're either married or you're not, you either have kids or you don't, you can only live in one place (unless you're wealthy and are both your own bosses), it's very unlikely that you can alter your level of sex drive, etc. Just as bad are the things for which there ARE technically compromises, but that are too emotionally-charged for many people to be willing to maintain a compromise long-term about, such as how $ is to be handled and how children should be raised. We've become a nation of gray areas, but some things are still black and white... and that means that sometimes people who love each other won't be able to be together and be happy, no matter HOW passionately they believe that there's a compromise for everything.
Being able to compromise is a sign of maturity, and knowing how to achieve a fast and fair compromise is an important skill needed in all sorts of interactions with other people, granted, but within our own homes, within our most personal relationships, we want things to be the way we like them pretty consistently, and we do NOT like having to discuss, or "discuss" (which means "argue" for people too touchy-feely to admit they're doing anything as unevolved as arguing) too many things that'll lead to outcomes that satisfy neither us nor our mate... and that means we need to focus on other ways to decide who gets to have what they want, ways that don't involve endless negotiating or neither person ever getting what they prefer (needless to say, both halves of a couple need to be willing to follow these guidelines, and be mature enough to stick to them, for any of this to work):
1) If it's something you don't care about, and the other person does, do it their way.
2) If neither person cares that much, once one person makes a suggestion, the other should say "ok."
3) When making a purchase significant enough for both parties to be involved (such as furniture, appliances or vehicles), instead of each person checking out the options, falling in love with one, and fighting to the death over it, assign one person the decision-making power, and the other person provides a REASONABLE list of requirements for the item, and has veto power to ONLY be used in cases of failure to fulfill the agreed-upon requirements or the belated realization of some other SIGNIFICANT requirement for the purchase. (For example, for our most recent car purchase, I told my husband that I wanted an American car with functioning air conditioning, above the size of a compact and below a certain dollar amount; he did some research, went out and bought the car.)
4) For certain things, decide that one particular person should reasonably have the final say; for example, my husband's the tech-ier one, so he makes the final decisions about equipment purchases, and I'm the one with a clue about decorating, so I make the final decisions about stuff for our home.
5) Whichever partner is the bigger screw-up should make up for it by letting the other person have their way; the more they screw up, the more they should give up having their way.
6) Whichever partner has the higher sex drive should stack the deck in their favor by letting the other person have their way in other areas.
7) Make the liberating decision that you do NOT have to stick to traditional forms; you do NOT have to eat the same thing for dinner, go to bed at the same time, get up at the same time, watch TV together, or any of the other lock-step stuff we associate with couplehood... so if you have different schedules or needs, do your own thing when it's convenient, as long as you're making time to be together too.
8) Periodically, when you feel emotionally able, choose to GIVE the other person their way as a gift, and enjoy how happy it makes them.
9) Feel free to use barter or bribery to get your way; they make both people happy, and so are valid options.
10) Don't try to change the other person's preferences; either learn to live with them, and work around them, or accept that you're not compatible.
My husband and I have about as little in common as possible without one of us being from another planet, and we manage pretty well with these methods; if you're tired of compromising and not getting what you want, give them a try.
Friday, August 19, 2005
My odd mid-life crisis
Technically, you're supposed to be at least 40 to have a mid-life crisis, and I'm not there yet... also, technically, I already HAD my mid-life crisis when I turned 35, when I realized I officially wasn't "young" anymore and freaked out big time... but my husband and I are referring to my current weird obsession with my underwear as my mid-life crisis, so let's just call it that for the sake of consistency.
It actually started out with a pair of jeans; they have ankle zippers trimmed with ruffles, and have been a favorite of mine for about 15 years... at least, they WERE until my husband washed them and then put them in the dryer too long, and they shrunk so much that I could only wear them if I didn't breathe, GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I kept meaning to wedge myself into them, get them wet, and move around as much as possible in them until they dried, which stretches them out but is REALLY unpleasant, but a couple of years went by without me doing it (did I mention that it's REALLY unpleasant?); then, a few weeks ago, I realized that a hot day was just the right time to be in cold, wet denim, and was going to grit my teeth and do it... and then I thought, "I'll look like a fool if I'm middle-aged and wearing jeans with ruffles," folded them up and stuck them in the Goodwill bag. I got a deja vu feeling, and remembered when 30 had been looming over me, and I'd gritted my teeth and given away all the clothes and jewelry with hearts and/or rainbows, and the embarrassingly large collection of sailor blouses my mother had given me (despite her loud protests of "you're never too old to wear a sailor blouse"), and tossed out all my dark, dramatic makeup, and all the ultra-bright makeup, and, hardest of all, my beloved frosted pale-pink lipstick.
Something must have clicked in my head, because my mind started running through everything I wear, checking to see what else might not be appropriate when I hit the big 4-0... and this is where I got launched with this underwear frenzy, because the only thing I could think of was my 2 pairs of pink ankle socks with lace-trimmed cuffs, which I charged over to the bureau, dug around until I located, and tossed in the Goodwill bag. I started gathering up the socks that I'd yanked out in my search, and it occurred to me that I didn't LIKE some of them, and that REALLY got me going; I dumped out ALL my socks and started separating out the ones that weren't cute... and then I noticed that a few pairs looked a little worn, and decided that I wasn't going to wear any socks that looked old... and THEN I noticed that some were stretched out across the tops, and decided that I'm too old for droopy socks, so I deep-sixed them... and started pulling the tops of all the socks to see if any of the elastics made that distinctive crackling sound that means they've died, and throwing them in the trash.
I didn't have time to do a thorough check right then, but I've kept at it, and am also targeting socks that had been gifts (a pair with Tigger on them was high on the list) that I'd previously felt obligated to keep, and plain socks that I had nicer ones of the same color, and... I got rid of ALOT of socks. So many that I went on eBay to get some new ones (even with shipping, you can get them cheaper than in the store, oddly enough), and they've started arriving in the mail; did you know they even MADE blue leopard-print socks?
Then, we were at my mother's house a few days ago, and I went into my old bedroom and collected the last of my socks that were still there in my old bureau; some I got rid of, some I'll probably get rid of later, and a few I'll keep... and it felt like a milestone to finally have all of my socks out of my mother's house, after all these years of being married.
That should've been pretty much the end of it, but then, while arranging the socks in my underwear drawer, I started looking speculatively at my panties; I've always been fairly anal where panties are concerned (which is sort of appropriate when you think about it, lol), and have a policy of throwing them out as soon as they show any signs of wear (because what if I got hit by a truck and had to go to the hospital, remember that standard maternal line?), but I looked through them anyways, and discovered a terrible thing... I had PLAID panties. Plaid FLANNEL no less, courtesy of my insane mother. I haven't worn them since I got married, for reasons I'm sure I needn't explain, but they were THERE, and I decided I couldn't stand it a moment longer, so I started digging around; 1... 2... 3... 4... when did I get FOUR pairs? I gathered them up and marched into my husband's study, where I announced, "Look at this!!" I waved them at him for emphasis. "I have FOUR pairs of plaid panties, and I HATE plaid, and they're flannel, and only someone like my mother could think that flannel is a proper fabric for panties, and I HATE them, and I'm not keeping them for one more minute!!" I brandished them angrily at shoulder height to punctuate the point.
With a classic "indulging the deranged female" expression on his face, my husband replied, "Well, sure, if you don't like them get rid of them; buy yourself some new ones." "Yes, I'll go on eBay and get some new ones!!" I exulted, flinging the panties away and trotting off to the computer... only to discover that there are countless size 5, 6, and 8 and above panties on eBay, but very few 7's, and all sorts of thongs, boyshorts, and other weird styles but very few classic bikini style, and lots of blah solids, and obscure cartoon character designs, but very few nice patterns, and that a scary # of companies still use synthetic fabrics when that's an absolute no-no if you're prone to yeast infections, and... out of the 30 pages of available auctions, I found ONE that had a couple of pairs that I might get, and that's IT. :-O
I complained to my husband about this, adding that I'd obviously have to look for panties at Wal-Mart, which was really a bummer because I'm never anywhere near one and it'd be a major inconvenience, and then said jokingly, "I should make YOU go and get me some panties, since you go by there all the time"... and he said "Sure, I'll get some panties for you-after all these years, it's high time I bought underwear for my wife." I assumed he was joking. He wasn't. I asked, "Won't you be embarrassed?" He said, "Yeah, but I'll get over it." I asked, "What if people think that you're too much of a geek to have a woman, and that the panties must be for YOU?" He said, "I don't think they'll think that." I said, "They MIGHT" and stuck my tongue out at him. He stuck his tongue out at me. After several rounds of tongue-sticking, I explained what was necessary to pick out a nice set of panties from all the unusable stuff; he insisted that he can handle it, so I'm gonna let him try... and this will be the 1st time in my life that a man has bought underwear for me, can you believe it?
I think this brings us to the end of the mid-life crisis... but wait, a couple of pairs of black socks were looking kind of faded, now that I think about it... hang on, I'll be right back...
It actually started out with a pair of jeans; they have ankle zippers trimmed with ruffles, and have been a favorite of mine for about 15 years... at least, they WERE until my husband washed them and then put them in the dryer too long, and they shrunk so much that I could only wear them if I didn't breathe, GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I kept meaning to wedge myself into them, get them wet, and move around as much as possible in them until they dried, which stretches them out but is REALLY unpleasant, but a couple of years went by without me doing it (did I mention that it's REALLY unpleasant?); then, a few weeks ago, I realized that a hot day was just the right time to be in cold, wet denim, and was going to grit my teeth and do it... and then I thought, "I'll look like a fool if I'm middle-aged and wearing jeans with ruffles," folded them up and stuck them in the Goodwill bag. I got a deja vu feeling, and remembered when 30 had been looming over me, and I'd gritted my teeth and given away all the clothes and jewelry with hearts and/or rainbows, and the embarrassingly large collection of sailor blouses my mother had given me (despite her loud protests of "you're never too old to wear a sailor blouse"), and tossed out all my dark, dramatic makeup, and all the ultra-bright makeup, and, hardest of all, my beloved frosted pale-pink lipstick.
Something must have clicked in my head, because my mind started running through everything I wear, checking to see what else might not be appropriate when I hit the big 4-0... and this is where I got launched with this underwear frenzy, because the only thing I could think of was my 2 pairs of pink ankle socks with lace-trimmed cuffs, which I charged over to the bureau, dug around until I located, and tossed in the Goodwill bag. I started gathering up the socks that I'd yanked out in my search, and it occurred to me that I didn't LIKE some of them, and that REALLY got me going; I dumped out ALL my socks and started separating out the ones that weren't cute... and then I noticed that a few pairs looked a little worn, and decided that I wasn't going to wear any socks that looked old... and THEN I noticed that some were stretched out across the tops, and decided that I'm too old for droopy socks, so I deep-sixed them... and started pulling the tops of all the socks to see if any of the elastics made that distinctive crackling sound that means they've died, and throwing them in the trash.
I didn't have time to do a thorough check right then, but I've kept at it, and am also targeting socks that had been gifts (a pair with Tigger on them was high on the list) that I'd previously felt obligated to keep, and plain socks that I had nicer ones of the same color, and... I got rid of ALOT of socks. So many that I went on eBay to get some new ones (even with shipping, you can get them cheaper than in the store, oddly enough), and they've started arriving in the mail; did you know they even MADE blue leopard-print socks?
Then, we were at my mother's house a few days ago, and I went into my old bedroom and collected the last of my socks that were still there in my old bureau; some I got rid of, some I'll probably get rid of later, and a few I'll keep... and it felt like a milestone to finally have all of my socks out of my mother's house, after all these years of being married.
That should've been pretty much the end of it, but then, while arranging the socks in my underwear drawer, I started looking speculatively at my panties; I've always been fairly anal where panties are concerned (which is sort of appropriate when you think about it, lol), and have a policy of throwing them out as soon as they show any signs of wear (because what if I got hit by a truck and had to go to the hospital, remember that standard maternal line?), but I looked through them anyways, and discovered a terrible thing... I had PLAID panties. Plaid FLANNEL no less, courtesy of my insane mother. I haven't worn them since I got married, for reasons I'm sure I needn't explain, but they were THERE, and I decided I couldn't stand it a moment longer, so I started digging around; 1... 2... 3... 4... when did I get FOUR pairs? I gathered them up and marched into my husband's study, where I announced, "Look at this!!" I waved them at him for emphasis. "I have FOUR pairs of plaid panties, and I HATE plaid, and they're flannel, and only someone like my mother could think that flannel is a proper fabric for panties, and I HATE them, and I'm not keeping them for one more minute!!" I brandished them angrily at shoulder height to punctuate the point.
With a classic "indulging the deranged female" expression on his face, my husband replied, "Well, sure, if you don't like them get rid of them; buy yourself some new ones." "Yes, I'll go on eBay and get some new ones!!" I exulted, flinging the panties away and trotting off to the computer... only to discover that there are countless size 5, 6, and 8 and above panties on eBay, but very few 7's, and all sorts of thongs, boyshorts, and other weird styles but very few classic bikini style, and lots of blah solids, and obscure cartoon character designs, but very few nice patterns, and that a scary # of companies still use synthetic fabrics when that's an absolute no-no if you're prone to yeast infections, and... out of the 30 pages of available auctions, I found ONE that had a couple of pairs that I might get, and that's IT. :-O
I complained to my husband about this, adding that I'd obviously have to look for panties at Wal-Mart, which was really a bummer because I'm never anywhere near one and it'd be a major inconvenience, and then said jokingly, "I should make YOU go and get me some panties, since you go by there all the time"... and he said "Sure, I'll get some panties for you-after all these years, it's high time I bought underwear for my wife." I assumed he was joking. He wasn't. I asked, "Won't you be embarrassed?" He said, "Yeah, but I'll get over it." I asked, "What if people think that you're too much of a geek to have a woman, and that the panties must be for YOU?" He said, "I don't think they'll think that." I said, "They MIGHT" and stuck my tongue out at him. He stuck his tongue out at me. After several rounds of tongue-sticking, I explained what was necessary to pick out a nice set of panties from all the unusable stuff; he insisted that he can handle it, so I'm gonna let him try... and this will be the 1st time in my life that a man has bought underwear for me, can you believe it?
I think this brings us to the end of the mid-life crisis... but wait, a couple of pairs of black socks were looking kind of faded, now that I think about it... hang on, I'll be right back...
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Musings on buffets
The all-you-can-eat buffet is a common thing in America; virtually everyone has been to one, and most of us have been many times over the years. One of the many fascinating discoveries I made when I got online and began talking to people from other countries is that the inclusion of these sorts of restaurants as a part of one's very culture is primarily an American thing; I can't tell you how many times I revealed on a forum or in a chatroom that I'd gone to a buffet, only to have people from several different countries ask me about it because they'd never been to one, or even never SEEN one. There are certainly restaurants in other countries where you can serve yourself from a buffet, although often only in big cities and/or in tourist-heavy areas, but the idea of having the set-up we have HERE, where even small towns usually have places you can go and choose from an insane # of dishes and settle in to consume as much food as possible without exploding (which is how most Americans behave in these places), the idea that the entire point of these restaurants is to make a pig of yourself rather than just to be able to choose which foods you'd like, is surprising and puzzling to foreigners; for the most part it never seems to occur to non-Americans that it'd be "fun" to eat more than a reasonable meal's worth of food.
This alone tells us why Americans are so much fatter than other people.
If you go here
http://www.buffet.com/
you'll find the corporate headquarters of Old Country Buffet, Country Buffet, and HomeTown Buffet; these restaurants are in 36 states, claim on their site to offer about a HUNDRED different dishes, and will have lines leading into them virtually every hour they're open every day of the week. If you've ever been in one of these places, you know that no matter how hungry you are, how careful you are to not take too much of anything, or how picky of an eater you are, you'll NEVER be able to eat all the things you'd like to have... but you'll try, because once you see and smell the food, once you start tasting how good it is, you become an eating machine, lost in a daze of comfort-food bliss (do other cultures even HAVE comfort food, or is it only Americans who see high-fat food as a way to improve their emotional state?).
Souplantation/Sweet Tomatoes is another very successful buffet-style eatery; it never ceases to amaze me that people flock to a place where all there is to eat is soup, salads, breads, and a few pasta dishes, but apparently lots of folks don't mind forgoing a main course as long as they can eat all they want. One of the worst food-related experiences of my life occurred in one of these restaurants; my then-boyfriend, insisting contrary to everything I'd heard from other people about the food that I'd be able to eat there, harangued me into going with the promise that if I looked around and decided I didn't like enough of what they had to make a decent meal we'd go back to the cashier and get a refund, and then I could pick a place for us to go to. We went in, and one glance at the food told me there was no chance, but he demanded that I go look at everything before deciding, so, after reminding him not to take any food himself, which he AGREED to, I marched around all the counters, none of which had anything I'd touch on a bet, and headed back to tell him so... only to find him with a heaping plateful of food which he was already eating from!! In response to my infuriated questions, he replied that he was certain that, despite what I'd said, I'd magically come up with a way to make a meal out of what they had, so he figured it was safe to break his promise and start eating. So stubborn was he in his stupidity that he actually went so far as to point out food items that he thought I'd be able to eat, for each of which I listed every ingredient and how much I loathed all of them, and inquired what he based his belief that I could eat those things on... he of course had no answer, because as always he was basing his opinions on the fantasy of how he wanted things to be, not on reality.
I sat at a table with him with a tiny portion of soft-serve, the only thing in the entire place I could consume, and which I could only have a little of on an empty stomach without throwing up, cursing him for his game-playing while he wolfed everything on his plate, and then we left, having gotten the worst value for food dollars in the history of the world; we then went to a fast food place so that I could finally have a meal, and he could finish his. Luckily for him, I forgave him; in return, he's spending the rest of his life making sure I get everything I want foodwise.
There are various ethnic buffets that exist here and there, but the one you can find nearly everywhere is of course Chinese; lately, taking a cue from the previously-named restaurants, some clever folks have opened up chains of Chinese (or sometimes "oriental," which means they add a little sushi and maybe a couple of vaguely Thai dishes) mega-buffets, where you can go and get all the familiar dishes, some weirdly exotic ones, some even weirder things like French fries and fried chicken, and of course a zillion kinds of dessert. And that's what got me thinking about this topic; I got an ad in the mail for a local one of these places, where I've been known to eat enough eggrolls, potstickers, spareribs, cream cheese wontons (which I vaguely suspect may NOT be an authentic dish, lol), orange and kung pao chicken, and sweet and sour pork to feed a family of 4... which is why it's been a while since I've been there, and why I'm eager to go again.
I am, after all, VERY American.
Edit:
My friend Nico, whose terrific blog is here
http://xanderandnico.blogspot.com/
has told me that, although the term "buffet" isn't often used in Australia (we only sort of speak the same language), all-you-can-eat setups are common in her city, Newcastle... and, and I'm quoting her so that no Australian readers feel dissed, that "Australia is the second fattest nation on Earth." Coincidence?
This alone tells us why Americans are so much fatter than other people.
If you go here
http://www.buffet.com/
you'll find the corporate headquarters of Old Country Buffet, Country Buffet, and HomeTown Buffet; these restaurants are in 36 states, claim on their site to offer about a HUNDRED different dishes, and will have lines leading into them virtually every hour they're open every day of the week. If you've ever been in one of these places, you know that no matter how hungry you are, how careful you are to not take too much of anything, or how picky of an eater you are, you'll NEVER be able to eat all the things you'd like to have... but you'll try, because once you see and smell the food, once you start tasting how good it is, you become an eating machine, lost in a daze of comfort-food bliss (do other cultures even HAVE comfort food, or is it only Americans who see high-fat food as a way to improve their emotional state?).
Souplantation/Sweet Tomatoes is another very successful buffet-style eatery; it never ceases to amaze me that people flock to a place where all there is to eat is soup, salads, breads, and a few pasta dishes, but apparently lots of folks don't mind forgoing a main course as long as they can eat all they want. One of the worst food-related experiences of my life occurred in one of these restaurants; my then-boyfriend, insisting contrary to everything I'd heard from other people about the food that I'd be able to eat there, harangued me into going with the promise that if I looked around and decided I didn't like enough of what they had to make a decent meal we'd go back to the cashier and get a refund, and then I could pick a place for us to go to. We went in, and one glance at the food told me there was no chance, but he demanded that I go look at everything before deciding, so, after reminding him not to take any food himself, which he AGREED to, I marched around all the counters, none of which had anything I'd touch on a bet, and headed back to tell him so... only to find him with a heaping plateful of food which he was already eating from!! In response to my infuriated questions, he replied that he was certain that, despite what I'd said, I'd magically come up with a way to make a meal out of what they had, so he figured it was safe to break his promise and start eating. So stubborn was he in his stupidity that he actually went so far as to point out food items that he thought I'd be able to eat, for each of which I listed every ingredient and how much I loathed all of them, and inquired what he based his belief that I could eat those things on... he of course had no answer, because as always he was basing his opinions on the fantasy of how he wanted things to be, not on reality.
I sat at a table with him with a tiny portion of soft-serve, the only thing in the entire place I could consume, and which I could only have a little of on an empty stomach without throwing up, cursing him for his game-playing while he wolfed everything on his plate, and then we left, having gotten the worst value for food dollars in the history of the world; we then went to a fast food place so that I could finally have a meal, and he could finish his. Luckily for him, I forgave him; in return, he's spending the rest of his life making sure I get everything I want foodwise.
There are various ethnic buffets that exist here and there, but the one you can find nearly everywhere is of course Chinese; lately, taking a cue from the previously-named restaurants, some clever folks have opened up chains of Chinese (or sometimes "oriental," which means they add a little sushi and maybe a couple of vaguely Thai dishes) mega-buffets, where you can go and get all the familiar dishes, some weirdly exotic ones, some even weirder things like French fries and fried chicken, and of course a zillion kinds of dessert. And that's what got me thinking about this topic; I got an ad in the mail for a local one of these places, where I've been known to eat enough eggrolls, potstickers, spareribs, cream cheese wontons (which I vaguely suspect may NOT be an authentic dish, lol), orange and kung pao chicken, and sweet and sour pork to feed a family of 4... which is why it's been a while since I've been there, and why I'm eager to go again.
I am, after all, VERY American.
Edit:
My friend Nico, whose terrific blog is here
http://xanderandnico.blogspot.com/
has told me that, although the term "buffet" isn't often used in Australia (we only sort of speak the same language), all-you-can-eat setups are common in her city, Newcastle... and, and I'm quoting her so that no Australian readers feel dissed, that "Australia is the second fattest nation on Earth." Coincidence?
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
In awe of a hawk
The most majestic species of wildlife sharing my suburban neighborhood is the hawk; they can often seen gazing contemptuously down on non-flying species from atop lamp posts and rooftops. Some time ago one of them made an unfortunate discovery... that my patio is bursting with over-fed birds. This shouldn't have actually been a problem, as hawks hunt by flying over their prey, folding their wings and dropping, then snatching the victims up at the end of the drop; birds under a patio cover are thus outside of their biological programming... but that hasn't stopped him from trying.
I remember the 1st time I saw the huge male hawk fly through the patio area; his 6-7 foot wingspan caused a WHUMP and rattling of windows like a sonic boom. The birds saw him coming and flew every which way, but they needn't have bothered, as the hawk had no idea about swerving, swooping or grabbing; he didn't even try for any of the fleeing birds, because he just didn't know what to do. We've had several other fly-throughs, and caught him perched on the fence a few times... and all the banging and yelling I could manage didn't faze him in the slightest.
A few days ago, I saw a different hawk, which appears to be of the same species but smaller (about 2 feet tall plus tail) and with plainer coloring; a female, we assume. She was on the fence, craning and twisting her neck to see into the dense foliage over the patio cover, scoping out the many birds that she could hear and probably at least sporadically see; her instincts don't including extracting food animals from within the cover of trees and bushes, so she didn't do anything... at least not then.
I saw her again today, and if I hadn't been smart and grabbed the camcorder and filmed her, I'd think by now that I'd dreamed what I saw, because it's so hard to picture a hawk acting the way this one did. It started with my hearing my biggest windchime going wildly, which in the absence of a hurricane meant that something had banged it; my 1st thought was that some rotten kid had reached over the fence or thrown something at it, so I ran to where I could see the patio, but didn't see anyone. Assuming that the culprit had run off, I went back to the computer... and a couple of minutes later, another of the windchimes was ringing loudly, so I sprinted back in time to see the cause; the female hawk was just settling back onto the fence, flapping erratically and obviously disoriented. As I saw again in another couple of minutes, she was launching off of the fence, flying gracelessly around the patio even though the little birds were long gone, and then struggling to get back out without hitting anything; her wings are too big for her to do so easily, which is why she was hitting the chimes, especially with her already being off-kilter because she was doing something atypical for her species. I was stunned when she tried again, and was finally successful at what it turned out that she'd been attempting; my patio cover is made of several overlapping layers, and she'd been trying to insert herself between the lowermost layer and the one above it, so that she could reach up through the gap and endeavor to snatch a bird from the branches draped over it... this is so far from anything a hawk normally does, so physically difficult given the size of the bird and the smallness of the target area (not to mention the necessity of having dead-on aim when flying sideways, which she needed multiple tries to achieve because it's not a skill she has), and required so much thought and analysis to devise that plan, that... what can I say, I'm still dazzled that a wild bird came up with such a thing.
But that's not the end of it!! She wasn't able to reach any birds from where she was in the patio cover, although she certainly tried; the tweeties might have been curious as to what the hawk was doing there, but none of them stayed close enough to the lower branches that she could stretch to for her to reach them. Finally, she backed out of the tight space and flapped awkwardly back to the fence, when she hopped back and forth, looking ticked off and frustrated, craning and twisting her neck as she had the last time, checking things out, with her avian brain clearly going 100 miles an hour. Then, she did her final amazing thing; she flew straight at an overhanging tree, not up to the top where a hawk would normally go, but right through the leaves onto the lowest branch; as I watched slack-jawed in amazement, she began to clumsily but determinedly hop and inch her way upwards along the branch, towards the birds. She wobbled back and forth, fluttered her wings fruitlessly in the tight space, and kept trying to move up the inner part of the tree. She got up farther than I'd have thought possible, then slipped and lost a few feet; at that point, the air conditioner came on, and this startled her enough that she sort of jumped away from the tree and flew away... she never came back, but I bet she's not done trying quite yet.
Normally, I'd say you had to see it to believe it, but *I* saw it and I STILL don't believe it; you expect a predatory bird to have SOME ability to think, but to see one analyzing a situation far from what it's genetically designed to handle, and coming up with ways to try nab a bird without risking tangling her talons in the foliage (which could easily lead to her being trapped there and eventually killed by a cat) was truly awe-inspiring. When I told my husband about it later, he was duly impressed; he commented that, although he grew up in a rural area, he'd never heard of anyone having experiences with wild creatures like we do, or rather mostly *I* do, all the time here in the middle of the suburbs, far from anything rural or wilderness-ish... he didn't believe it when I told him back when we 1st met that animals are drawn to me, but he sure believes it now.
I remember the 1st time I saw the huge male hawk fly through the patio area; his 6-7 foot wingspan caused a WHUMP and rattling of windows like a sonic boom. The birds saw him coming and flew every which way, but they needn't have bothered, as the hawk had no idea about swerving, swooping or grabbing; he didn't even try for any of the fleeing birds, because he just didn't know what to do. We've had several other fly-throughs, and caught him perched on the fence a few times... and all the banging and yelling I could manage didn't faze him in the slightest.
A few days ago, I saw a different hawk, which appears to be of the same species but smaller (about 2 feet tall plus tail) and with plainer coloring; a female, we assume. She was on the fence, craning and twisting her neck to see into the dense foliage over the patio cover, scoping out the many birds that she could hear and probably at least sporadically see; her instincts don't including extracting food animals from within the cover of trees and bushes, so she didn't do anything... at least not then.
I saw her again today, and if I hadn't been smart and grabbed the camcorder and filmed her, I'd think by now that I'd dreamed what I saw, because it's so hard to picture a hawk acting the way this one did. It started with my hearing my biggest windchime going wildly, which in the absence of a hurricane meant that something had banged it; my 1st thought was that some rotten kid had reached over the fence or thrown something at it, so I ran to where I could see the patio, but didn't see anyone. Assuming that the culprit had run off, I went back to the computer... and a couple of minutes later, another of the windchimes was ringing loudly, so I sprinted back in time to see the cause; the female hawk was just settling back onto the fence, flapping erratically and obviously disoriented. As I saw again in another couple of minutes, she was launching off of the fence, flying gracelessly around the patio even though the little birds were long gone, and then struggling to get back out without hitting anything; her wings are too big for her to do so easily, which is why she was hitting the chimes, especially with her already being off-kilter because she was doing something atypical for her species. I was stunned when she tried again, and was finally successful at what it turned out that she'd been attempting; my patio cover is made of several overlapping layers, and she'd been trying to insert herself between the lowermost layer and the one above it, so that she could reach up through the gap and endeavor to snatch a bird from the branches draped over it... this is so far from anything a hawk normally does, so physically difficult given the size of the bird and the smallness of the target area (not to mention the necessity of having dead-on aim when flying sideways, which she needed multiple tries to achieve because it's not a skill she has), and required so much thought and analysis to devise that plan, that... what can I say, I'm still dazzled that a wild bird came up with such a thing.
But that's not the end of it!! She wasn't able to reach any birds from where she was in the patio cover, although she certainly tried; the tweeties might have been curious as to what the hawk was doing there, but none of them stayed close enough to the lower branches that she could stretch to for her to reach them. Finally, she backed out of the tight space and flapped awkwardly back to the fence, when she hopped back and forth, looking ticked off and frustrated, craning and twisting her neck as she had the last time, checking things out, with her avian brain clearly going 100 miles an hour. Then, she did her final amazing thing; she flew straight at an overhanging tree, not up to the top where a hawk would normally go, but right through the leaves onto the lowest branch; as I watched slack-jawed in amazement, she began to clumsily but determinedly hop and inch her way upwards along the branch, towards the birds. She wobbled back and forth, fluttered her wings fruitlessly in the tight space, and kept trying to move up the inner part of the tree. She got up farther than I'd have thought possible, then slipped and lost a few feet; at that point, the air conditioner came on, and this startled her enough that she sort of jumped away from the tree and flew away... she never came back, but I bet she's not done trying quite yet.
Normally, I'd say you had to see it to believe it, but *I* saw it and I STILL don't believe it; you expect a predatory bird to have SOME ability to think, but to see one analyzing a situation far from what it's genetically designed to handle, and coming up with ways to try nab a bird without risking tangling her talons in the foliage (which could easily lead to her being trapped there and eventually killed by a cat) was truly awe-inspiring. When I told my husband about it later, he was duly impressed; he commented that, although he grew up in a rural area, he'd never heard of anyone having experiences with wild creatures like we do, or rather mostly *I* do, all the time here in the middle of the suburbs, far from anything rural or wilderness-ish... he didn't believe it when I told him back when we 1st met that animals are drawn to me, but he sure believes it now.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
An interesting program on telepathy
Tonight, on the National Geographic channel, I saw a show called "Naked Science : Telepathy, Researchers study the power of the mind." Here are the highlights:
1) Twin sisters; one got in a car accident in the Australian Outback, the one in America felt "indirect pain," knew instantly that the other one had been injured, and began calling friends in Oz to try to find out what had happened. (The narrator made a big issue about how there's no proof that the American twin felt the pain at the exact same time... but what if she felt it 10 minutes later, how would that make it any less psychic, lol?)
2) Another set of twins reported having the exact same dream, just from different points of view.
3) Yet another set of twins; one got in a car accident, the other immediately felt pain in same place she was injured (sternum).
4) a) Twin boys, widely separated with the one designated the receiver being wired up to monitor his vitals; when the "sending" one was startled with loud noise, the other reacted a fraction of a second later. They blindfolded the sender and had him reach into a jar for candy, but encounter ice instead... and again, the receiver reacted right away, by taking in a breath, his blood pressure going up, and his pulse rate shooting up.
b) When the boys were babies, the mother was changing one with her back to the other, and the one she was working on started to cry, and then scream, and, when it occurred to her that he might be reacting to something wrong with his brother rather than something being wrong with him, she turned around to see that the other baby had rolled into the pillows and was suffocating, and had already turned blue (he suffered no lasting ill effects, luckily).
c) The mother is convinced that they feel each other's pain; she described cases where one of them had a knee infection or kidney pain where it was the other twin that was crying and complaining of pain.
5) a) Joe McMoneagle was a so-called "remote viewer" for the Army intelligence project "Star Gate"
http://www.globalsecurity.org/intell/systems/stargate.htm
for over 20 years, during which he, and the others in the program, psychically pinpointed enemy bases and reported various images picked up from enemy territory. An impressive example they gave of this was that when he was asked to see inside a new, large building at Severodvinsk (in the former Soviet Union), he described images that made it clear that it was a submarine factory... which seemed ridiculous, as the building was a half mile from the shore and had no water access at all. Eventually, though, a bulldozer was brought there and used to dig a trench, which, when filled with water, gave the gigantic new sub a way to get to the ocean. McMoneagle received the Legion of Merit... which is hard to imagine he would have been given if, as skeptics claim, he never actually saw anything.
b) To test his abilities, they had someone unknown to him take a bunch of pics around San Francisco, which were then sealed up, one chosen at random, and the woman told to go there and try to transmit images of where she was. McMoneagle drew pictures and gave verbal descriptions that were an excellent match for her location... so much so that another man, given copies of these things and of pics of the different locations, was able to correctly pick the one she was at.
6) In Scotland, studies have been done using a Ganzfeld test, which is where a receiver is made comfortable and relaxes while listening to white noise, and then a sender tries to transmit images from video clips chosen at random (other testers have used photos or other sorts of images for the tests). The receiver gradually zeros in on the correct images, and the sender tries to emit reinforcing thoughts when the receiver gets closer, and pushes a button when the receiver hits it dead on... and the receiver, who was wired up on her fingers to test some aspect of her vitals (I yelled at the rats on the patio and missed that part), reacted to the button being pushed.
7) a) They put a mother and daughter into "EEG caps" with electrodes to measure brain activity, had them meditate to create an alpha state, showed the mother a checkered pattern that changed abruptly, causing a blip on her readout... and a tenth of a second later, the daughter's brain reacted the same way. Some receivers are able to perform well beyond what chance would predict, and one of the researchers commented that he went into it being skeptical, but that they'd run out of ways to try to explain away what they were seeing.
b) Putting the receiver inside an MRI scanner showed that the part of brain that receives visual input seems to be stimulated when the receiving is going on.
At that point, my possum visitor showed up (I'll blog about him soon), and I missed the last couple of minutes of the show while I was filming his antics, but this at least gives an idea about what they're up to on the fringes of science... and demonstrates that they're STILL getting results they can't explain.
1) Twin sisters; one got in a car accident in the Australian Outback, the one in America felt "indirect pain," knew instantly that the other one had been injured, and began calling friends in Oz to try to find out what had happened. (The narrator made a big issue about how there's no proof that the American twin felt the pain at the exact same time... but what if she felt it 10 minutes later, how would that make it any less psychic, lol?)
2) Another set of twins reported having the exact same dream, just from different points of view.
3) Yet another set of twins; one got in a car accident, the other immediately felt pain in same place she was injured (sternum).
4) a) Twin boys, widely separated with the one designated the receiver being wired up to monitor his vitals; when the "sending" one was startled with loud noise, the other reacted a fraction of a second later. They blindfolded the sender and had him reach into a jar for candy, but encounter ice instead... and again, the receiver reacted right away, by taking in a breath, his blood pressure going up, and his pulse rate shooting up.
b) When the boys were babies, the mother was changing one with her back to the other, and the one she was working on started to cry, and then scream, and, when it occurred to her that he might be reacting to something wrong with his brother rather than something being wrong with him, she turned around to see that the other baby had rolled into the pillows and was suffocating, and had already turned blue (he suffered no lasting ill effects, luckily).
c) The mother is convinced that they feel each other's pain; she described cases where one of them had a knee infection or kidney pain where it was the other twin that was crying and complaining of pain.
5) a) Joe McMoneagle was a so-called "remote viewer" for the Army intelligence project "Star Gate"
http://www.globalsecurity.org/intell/systems/stargate.htm
for over 20 years, during which he, and the others in the program, psychically pinpointed enemy bases and reported various images picked up from enemy territory. An impressive example they gave of this was that when he was asked to see inside a new, large building at Severodvinsk (in the former Soviet Union), he described images that made it clear that it was a submarine factory... which seemed ridiculous, as the building was a half mile from the shore and had no water access at all. Eventually, though, a bulldozer was brought there and used to dig a trench, which, when filled with water, gave the gigantic new sub a way to get to the ocean. McMoneagle received the Legion of Merit... which is hard to imagine he would have been given if, as skeptics claim, he never actually saw anything.
b) To test his abilities, they had someone unknown to him take a bunch of pics around San Francisco, which were then sealed up, one chosen at random, and the woman told to go there and try to transmit images of where she was. McMoneagle drew pictures and gave verbal descriptions that were an excellent match for her location... so much so that another man, given copies of these things and of pics of the different locations, was able to correctly pick the one she was at.
6) In Scotland, studies have been done using a Ganzfeld test, which is where a receiver is made comfortable and relaxes while listening to white noise, and then a sender tries to transmit images from video clips chosen at random (other testers have used photos or other sorts of images for the tests). The receiver gradually zeros in on the correct images, and the sender tries to emit reinforcing thoughts when the receiver gets closer, and pushes a button when the receiver hits it dead on... and the receiver, who was wired up on her fingers to test some aspect of her vitals (I yelled at the rats on the patio and missed that part), reacted to the button being pushed.
7) a) They put a mother and daughter into "EEG caps" with electrodes to measure brain activity, had them meditate to create an alpha state, showed the mother a checkered pattern that changed abruptly, causing a blip on her readout... and a tenth of a second later, the daughter's brain reacted the same way. Some receivers are able to perform well beyond what chance would predict, and one of the researchers commented that he went into it being skeptical, but that they'd run out of ways to try to explain away what they were seeing.
b) Putting the receiver inside an MRI scanner showed that the part of brain that receives visual input seems to be stimulated when the receiving is going on.
At that point, my possum visitor showed up (I'll blog about him soon), and I missed the last couple of minutes of the show while I was filming his antics, but this at least gives an idea about what they're up to on the fringes of science... and demonstrates that they're STILL getting results they can't explain.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Joel Osteen and the power of thought
Before I dive into a serious post, here's something exciting: an episode of the most recent attempt at "Twilight Zone" came on tonight, and... do you remember the classic episode "It's a Good Life," where a cute little boy (played by Bill Mumy) has godlike powers, and uses them in a horrifying way? They made a follow-up to that, called "It's Still a Good Life," wherein the cute little boy is now a man with a child of his own... starring Bill Mumy and his own daughter, Liliana, AND Cloris Leachman who played the mother in the original episode!! I wasn't paying attention at first, but when I heard Mumy's voice, which I instantly recognized due to my intense "Babylon 5" fanhood, I looked up from the computer and devoted my full attention... and it was FAB, so be sure to watch it if you get the chance. :-)
Ok, here's the heavy stuff:
Joel Osteen has circled many sermons around the importance of banishing negative thoughts (and emotions) from your mind, because thinking like that can cause bad things to happen, can bring forth "The Enemy" (aka the devil), and can "program" you to be unhappy and dissatisfied even with an objectively good life; the concept of negativity drawing in more negativity is of course a karmic one, although naturally he doesn't see it that way.
In a recent sermon, his topic was how you needed to think about things that you wanted to happen over and over; again, this is part of my theory of karma, that the "shape" of energy you send out can determine what comes back to you, and that the more energy you pour into that shape with thoughts and feelings, the more powerful the "draw."
In tonight's sermon, Osteen has finally gotten around to talking about the other basic "rule" of karma; that having positive thoughts (and feelings) causes positive things to come into your life. He makes a particular issue about how it's necessary to control your thoughts, that you CAN do so, that you can't just think "any old thoughts" but must banish any negative ones that try to enter your head, and instead fill your mind with hope and the belief that good things are coming, that each part of your day will be good, and in general to have positive thoughts about everything, especially about those things that you want to receive or bring to your life... and that this will MAKE good things happen. Of course, he always means that God will be the cause of all this, and I know people who believe that God created karma to serve His will, but in the absence of proof all I can believe is that karma alone is behind it; I choose the force of nature rather than the deity, as only the former type of thing is proven to exist.
And speaking of karma vs deity; on 7-25-05, I posted an invitation to whatever deity that might be out there to "expand my awareness," and also asked karma to "send me information to settle the question of the existence of any forces in the universe that would be considered deities by human beings." On 7-26-05, I had what I accurately termed "a freaky day," with so many improbable things happening that it seemed inescapable that they came as a reply to my request... but from what source? Was it karma reacting to my calling it forth, or a deity trying to get through to me?
This is where spiritual stuff gets tricky; you'll get what you ask for, but if you ask stupidly you don't get what you actually WANTED... which would seem to argue against the existence of God (Allah, Goddess, whatever), who's supposed to know and care what we want and so theoretically should be responding to that rather than the form of the request, but then again part of worship of a deity includes prayer, which tells us that asking for things directly is somehow important... I've gotta ask a Christian friend about this one, it's an interesting point. In any case, the problem here is that I asked karma and any existing deities for something at the same time, which in hindsight was pretty dumb, but in my defense I didn't imagine that I'd possibly get an immediate and major response without a clear source. So, let's give it another shot, and hope that any powers that be are willing to exert themselves again for me so soon:
If there is a deity or deities out there, by any name, I ask that you make me aware of your existence in some way not attributable to the workings of karma.
Stay tuned.
Ok, here's the heavy stuff:
Joel Osteen has circled many sermons around the importance of banishing negative thoughts (and emotions) from your mind, because thinking like that can cause bad things to happen, can bring forth "The Enemy" (aka the devil), and can "program" you to be unhappy and dissatisfied even with an objectively good life; the concept of negativity drawing in more negativity is of course a karmic one, although naturally he doesn't see it that way.
In a recent sermon, his topic was how you needed to think about things that you wanted to happen over and over; again, this is part of my theory of karma, that the "shape" of energy you send out can determine what comes back to you, and that the more energy you pour into that shape with thoughts and feelings, the more powerful the "draw."
In tonight's sermon, Osteen has finally gotten around to talking about the other basic "rule" of karma; that having positive thoughts (and feelings) causes positive things to come into your life. He makes a particular issue about how it's necessary to control your thoughts, that you CAN do so, that you can't just think "any old thoughts" but must banish any negative ones that try to enter your head, and instead fill your mind with hope and the belief that good things are coming, that each part of your day will be good, and in general to have positive thoughts about everything, especially about those things that you want to receive or bring to your life... and that this will MAKE good things happen. Of course, he always means that God will be the cause of all this, and I know people who believe that God created karma to serve His will, but in the absence of proof all I can believe is that karma alone is behind it; I choose the force of nature rather than the deity, as only the former type of thing is proven to exist.
And speaking of karma vs deity; on 7-25-05, I posted an invitation to whatever deity that might be out there to "expand my awareness," and also asked karma to "send me information to settle the question of the existence of any forces in the universe that would be considered deities by human beings." On 7-26-05, I had what I accurately termed "a freaky day," with so many improbable things happening that it seemed inescapable that they came as a reply to my request... but from what source? Was it karma reacting to my calling it forth, or a deity trying to get through to me?
This is where spiritual stuff gets tricky; you'll get what you ask for, but if you ask stupidly you don't get what you actually WANTED... which would seem to argue against the existence of God (Allah, Goddess, whatever), who's supposed to know and care what we want and so theoretically should be responding to that rather than the form of the request, but then again part of worship of a deity includes prayer, which tells us that asking for things directly is somehow important... I've gotta ask a Christian friend about this one, it's an interesting point. In any case, the problem here is that I asked karma and any existing deities for something at the same time, which in hindsight was pretty dumb, but in my defense I didn't imagine that I'd possibly get an immediate and major response without a clear source. So, let's give it another shot, and hope that any powers that be are willing to exert themselves again for me so soon:
If there is a deity or deities out there, by any name, I ask that you make me aware of your existence in some way not attributable to the workings of karma.
Stay tuned.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Scott Adams's latest double punchline
The Dilbert cartoon is always brilliant and hilarious, but Adams outdid himself with this one
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/139/3472/640/DILBERT.jpg
Dilbert is at a restaurant with a date (!!!), and he says, "No one ever wants to take more than half of what's left of the last doughnut. That's why I call it Xeno's doughnut. Hee hee!" I howled with laughter... and then realized that getting the joke was probably proof of geekdom, so I told it to my husband, and he laughed too-there's your proof. For the non-geeks among you, Xeno (also spelled Zeno), an Italian-born Greek philosopher (c.490–c.430 B.C.), is famous for his paradoxes, which you can get an overview of here
http://www.iep.utm.edu/z/zenoelea.htm
with the applicable one being "If a thing moves from one point in space to another, it must first traverse half the distance. Before it can do that, it must traverse a half of the half, and so on ad infinitum." Pretty clever to apply that to the doughnut example, don't you think?
That's not the only punchline in the strip, though, which is something Adams is a master at; as Dilbert is delivering his lines, the waitress is approaching, and she says to his date, "I heard some of that. Do you want to switch to hard liquor?", and the date holds out her glass and says, "Hurry." This is screamingly funny because it accurately reflects how most people would react to being gifted with such a dazzling line on a date; NOT by being thrilled to be with such a smart and creative person, as one logically SHOULD be, but by being miserable about being "stuck" with such a person.
If my husband dies an untimely death, and I'm acquitted (lol), I'm going to use some version of the "Xeno's doughnut" line on every man I date... and only the ones who laugh will get another date. :-)
(I just read that last sentence to my husband... and he's still laughing.)
http://photos1.blogger.com/img/139/3472/640/DILBERT.jpg
Dilbert is at a restaurant with a date (!!!), and he says, "No one ever wants to take more than half of what's left of the last doughnut. That's why I call it Xeno's doughnut. Hee hee!" I howled with laughter... and then realized that getting the joke was probably proof of geekdom, so I told it to my husband, and he laughed too-there's your proof. For the non-geeks among you, Xeno (also spelled Zeno), an Italian-born Greek philosopher (c.490–c.430 B.C.), is famous for his paradoxes, which you can get an overview of here
http://www.iep.utm.edu/z/zenoelea.htm
with the applicable one being "If a thing moves from one point in space to another, it must first traverse half the distance. Before it can do that, it must traverse a half of the half, and so on ad infinitum." Pretty clever to apply that to the doughnut example, don't you think?
That's not the only punchline in the strip, though, which is something Adams is a master at; as Dilbert is delivering his lines, the waitress is approaching, and she says to his date, "I heard some of that. Do you want to switch to hard liquor?", and the date holds out her glass and says, "Hurry." This is screamingly funny because it accurately reflects how most people would react to being gifted with such a dazzling line on a date; NOT by being thrilled to be with such a smart and creative person, as one logically SHOULD be, but by being miserable about being "stuck" with such a person.
If my husband dies an untimely death, and I'm acquitted (lol), I'm going to use some version of the "Xeno's doughnut" line on every man I date... and only the ones who laugh will get another date. :-)
(I just read that last sentence to my husband... and he's still laughing.)
