Saturday, June 19, 2004
The mysteries of laughter
Have you ever laughed out loud when no one was around?
If you have, you're in a very small minority, because supposedly "no one" laughs out loud unless there's someone to hear them... no one but ME, that is, as I've yet to find anyone who thinks they do this very unusual thing.
WHY do people supposedly not laugh out loud without an audience? Because laughing is an important communication tool, and to use it we need to be interacting with other people.
They've actually STUDIED this, and it turns out that we laugh far more than we think we do, we laugh when nothing's funny, we laugh without even being aware of it... heck, we're not even aware of it when OTHER people laugh most of the time. We remember when people laugh at our jokes, but apparently we don't consciously register it when people laugh to punctuate nearly everything they say, to the extent that we don't realize something's missing when we hear conversations on TV or read about them in books and the laughs aren't included.
We associate laughter with humor, with amusement, but most of our laughter has nothing to do with that; we laugh when we're nervous or confused, we laugh with derision, we laugh when we're hysterical or inebriated... but mostly we laugh in the same mindless way we say things like "you know" every 30 seconds or so.
Don't believe me? Take a tape recorder to your next social gathering, keep it hidden, and listen to what you have later on; unless your friends are very odd, you can expect to hear far more laughter than you ever imagined you were all using.
One of the many weird things in my family of origin is how we laugh; we all have loud and decidedly un-melodic brays of laughter that accompany our being amused, but we don't have the normal flow of laughter in conversation with each other-I'd always known it, but never thought about it until I started reading about the research being done in this area. I remember being disgusted at hearing my father, during his rare social phonecalls, uttering periodic bursts of manly chuckles as part of the false bonhomie he thought he was fooling people with; he wasted no such pleasantries on US. My mother, whose personality does a complete 180 within the hearing of outsiders, would give out an "ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha," and always that EXACT sound, every 2 sentences of so while on the phone... and she also never spared any geniality for her family. My consistent strong reaction to this behavior, my feeling that they were elaborately faking with other people, tells me that they really DON'T laugh "normally" when they're their real selves behind closed doors.
And, therefore, that *I* don't laugh normally either. Interestingly, I've developed a tendency towards comedic patter throughout all my conversations with people; I laugh at my own comments and the responses of my listeners, and since I've been doing this people have found my natural intensity much easier to deal with... not so much because I'm funny, but because I now laugh "often enough" to seem "normal."
Did my parents choose each other in part because they both didn't have the standard laugh patterns, and so they seemed familiar to each other? And how about my husband and I? He throws alot of jokey comments out, like I do, and, although he's not as serious and intense as I am, he doesn't do much non-humor-related laughing; when he DOES, I notice it, and ask him what he's laughing about, which of course he doesn't know as he's not aware he's doing it... so I know he's not doing it often.
Is laughter cultural? Does our ethnicity, religion, country, city, even neighborhood of origin dictate what sort of laugh patterns we have? Or, is it too personal for that, and only a reflection of what our family of origin is like? I'm going to ask friends from other countries if they see any difference in laughter between different cultures, and try to pay more attention to how different sorts of people laugh; if I can see some rhyme or reason to it, it'd be nearly as useful as reading body language for figuring people out... and most of life is about understanding what's really going on in the minds of those around us. You can probably get along ok if you ignore science and the unknown, but ignore the intricacies of the human race at your peril.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. ;-)
If you have, you're in a very small minority, because supposedly "no one" laughs out loud unless there's someone to hear them... no one but ME, that is, as I've yet to find anyone who thinks they do this very unusual thing.
WHY do people supposedly not laugh out loud without an audience? Because laughing is an important communication tool, and to use it we need to be interacting with other people.
They've actually STUDIED this, and it turns out that we laugh far more than we think we do, we laugh when nothing's funny, we laugh without even being aware of it... heck, we're not even aware of it when OTHER people laugh most of the time. We remember when people laugh at our jokes, but apparently we don't consciously register it when people laugh to punctuate nearly everything they say, to the extent that we don't realize something's missing when we hear conversations on TV or read about them in books and the laughs aren't included.
We associate laughter with humor, with amusement, but most of our laughter has nothing to do with that; we laugh when we're nervous or confused, we laugh with derision, we laugh when we're hysterical or inebriated... but mostly we laugh in the same mindless way we say things like "you know" every 30 seconds or so.
Don't believe me? Take a tape recorder to your next social gathering, keep it hidden, and listen to what you have later on; unless your friends are very odd, you can expect to hear far more laughter than you ever imagined you were all using.
One of the many weird things in my family of origin is how we laugh; we all have loud and decidedly un-melodic brays of laughter that accompany our being amused, but we don't have the normal flow of laughter in conversation with each other-I'd always known it, but never thought about it until I started reading about the research being done in this area. I remember being disgusted at hearing my father, during his rare social phonecalls, uttering periodic bursts of manly chuckles as part of the false bonhomie he thought he was fooling people with; he wasted no such pleasantries on US. My mother, whose personality does a complete 180 within the hearing of outsiders, would give out an "ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha," and always that EXACT sound, every 2 sentences of so while on the phone... and she also never spared any geniality for her family. My consistent strong reaction to this behavior, my feeling that they were elaborately faking with other people, tells me that they really DON'T laugh "normally" when they're their real selves behind closed doors.
And, therefore, that *I* don't laugh normally either. Interestingly, I've developed a tendency towards comedic patter throughout all my conversations with people; I laugh at my own comments and the responses of my listeners, and since I've been doing this people have found my natural intensity much easier to deal with... not so much because I'm funny, but because I now laugh "often enough" to seem "normal."
Did my parents choose each other in part because they both didn't have the standard laugh patterns, and so they seemed familiar to each other? And how about my husband and I? He throws alot of jokey comments out, like I do, and, although he's not as serious and intense as I am, he doesn't do much non-humor-related laughing; when he DOES, I notice it, and ask him what he's laughing about, which of course he doesn't know as he's not aware he's doing it... so I know he's not doing it often.
Is laughter cultural? Does our ethnicity, religion, country, city, even neighborhood of origin dictate what sort of laugh patterns we have? Or, is it too personal for that, and only a reflection of what our family of origin is like? I'm going to ask friends from other countries if they see any difference in laughter between different cultures, and try to pay more attention to how different sorts of people laugh; if I can see some rhyme or reason to it, it'd be nearly as useful as reading body language for figuring people out... and most of life is about understanding what's really going on in the minds of those around us. You can probably get along ok if you ignore science and the unknown, but ignore the intricacies of the human race at your peril.
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. ;-)
Friday, June 18, 2004
Are you a warrior?
I don't mean "do you do that nonsense from 'The Matrix'?" I don't mean "are you in the military?" I don't mean "do you beat people up?" I mean are you a WARRIOR, do you do battle to defend yourself, to defend others, to defend your principles? Not physical battle, although that is sometimes necessary and worthy, but battle with your wits, your strength of will, your heart?
If someone tries to push you around, do you stand your ground and do what's right, what's best for you? Even if the would-be pusher is your partner, your parent, or your best friend?
If someone's being attacked unfairly, let's just say verbally in this age of guns, what do you do? Join in? Stand around and watch? Slink away? Or do you step forward and speak up in their defense? Even if the attack is by a group? Even if the attack is online?
When someone tells a joke that's racist, anti-semitic, homophobic, or otherwise ugly towards an innocent group of people, what do you do? Laugh? Shuffle your feet and feel uncomfortable? Or get in the jokester's face and let them know that their behavior is unacceptable?
You might know only saints in your real life, but if you're online you have access to literally millions of people, many of whom are behaving right now in ways that no decent person can approve of; you have the framework in which you CAN be a warrior, one way or the other. Are you doing it? If not, why not?
If you decline to be a warrior, what does that make you?
If someone tries to push you around, do you stand your ground and do what's right, what's best for you? Even if the would-be pusher is your partner, your parent, or your best friend?
If someone's being attacked unfairly, let's just say verbally in this age of guns, what do you do? Join in? Stand around and watch? Slink away? Or do you step forward and speak up in their defense? Even if the attack is by a group? Even if the attack is online?
When someone tells a joke that's racist, anti-semitic, homophobic, or otherwise ugly towards an innocent group of people, what do you do? Laugh? Shuffle your feet and feel uncomfortable? Or get in the jokester's face and let them know that their behavior is unacceptable?
You might know only saints in your real life, but if you're online you have access to literally millions of people, many of whom are behaving right now in ways that no decent person can approve of; you have the framework in which you CAN be a warrior, one way or the other. Are you doing it? If not, why not?
If you decline to be a warrior, what does that make you?
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Big time karma
A woman who donated a kidney to a total stranger just won a half million dollars from a lottery scratch-off ticket in Virginia. My husband, who still isn't a believer, responded to hearing this with, "That's some real fodder for the karmic cannon," and it IS hard to not see some cause and effect here, especially when you read about it:
http://home.hamptonroads.com/stories/story.cfm?story=71744&ran=208696
and see a quote like "Michelle 'Mitzi' Nichols' mother always told her if you do good deeds, they'll come back to you," or "I guess if you do good things, good things will happen to you"... this is someone who's clearly aware of karma, even if she doesn't call it by name.
In addition to having given a new lease on life to someone, Ms. Nichols is also credited for having encouraged others to check out the donor program by going public with her experiences and letting people see how healthy she looks; all in all, a very deserving winner.
I caught the tail end of this story on the news, and had to do a search online to get all the details; it turned up several stories about others who'd given kidneys to strangers, and one about a lady donating a piece of her liver to save a baby she'd never seen, that mentioned that other people have been doing this too (the liver regenerates itself, and the donated piece of liver grows into a full one in the recipient's body), and..... I'm absolutely AWED by the willingness of these people to go through major surgery, with all the risks and pain that entails, and give up a piece of their own body to help people that they're unlikely to ever meet (some donors and recipients DO meet, but far from all), for which they receive NO MONEY, as it's illegal to sell human organs (the recipient does of course cover medical expenses). I can see desperately impoverished people selling kidneys for more $ than they'd ever see in their lives, in those countries where it's legal to do so, and of course donating to save a family member, or even a dear friend, but I'd have never imagined that there was anyone willing to go through something like this for a STRANGER; the fact that there ARE people who are just that dedicated to doing good for others forces me to re-evaluate the human spirit, and, unlike most times when this is necessary, in this instance I do so with a great feeling of joy.
http://home.hamptonroads.com/stories/story.cfm?story=71744&ran=208696
and see a quote like "Michelle 'Mitzi' Nichols' mother always told her if you do good deeds, they'll come back to you," or "I guess if you do good things, good things will happen to you"... this is someone who's clearly aware of karma, even if she doesn't call it by name.
In addition to having given a new lease on life to someone, Ms. Nichols is also credited for having encouraged others to check out the donor program by going public with her experiences and letting people see how healthy she looks; all in all, a very deserving winner.
I caught the tail end of this story on the news, and had to do a search online to get all the details; it turned up several stories about others who'd given kidneys to strangers, and one about a lady donating a piece of her liver to save a baby she'd never seen, that mentioned that other people have been doing this too (the liver regenerates itself, and the donated piece of liver grows into a full one in the recipient's body), and..... I'm absolutely AWED by the willingness of these people to go through major surgery, with all the risks and pain that entails, and give up a piece of their own body to help people that they're unlikely to ever meet (some donors and recipients DO meet, but far from all), for which they receive NO MONEY, as it's illegal to sell human organs (the recipient does of course cover medical expenses). I can see desperately impoverished people selling kidneys for more $ than they'd ever see in their lives, in those countries where it's legal to do so, and of course donating to save a family member, or even a dear friend, but I'd have never imagined that there was anyone willing to go through something like this for a STRANGER; the fact that there ARE people who are just that dedicated to doing good for others forces me to re-evaluate the human spirit, and, unlike most times when this is necessary, in this instance I do so with a great feeling of joy.
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Spirituality and intersexuality
I was thinking about souls today, and what their nature would likely be. One of the things that was going through my mind was that a soul wouldn't have gender, as gender is a biological, physical thing, and souls are energy; presumably, you'd remember what your gender was in your life, or LIVES if the reincarnationists are right, and every aspect of you and your life would influence what sort of soul you have, but a soul has neither DNA nor genitals, so it wouldn't have a gender.
It follows, I thought, that to see our true spiritual nature, we'd have to try to look at things withOUT the distortions caused by gender, and that the further we could detach ourselves from gender, the greater spiritual insight we could achieve.
Then, my thoughts jumped to those folks who naturally have no gender distortions in their perceptions, because they belong to neither standard gender; intersexuals.
Then, I recalled that "primitive" cultures, although universally seeing physical abnormalities as bad, even bad enough in some cases to kill deformed infants, often saw intersexuals as blessed, sacred, possessed of all sorts of special powers. Once again, we can see that so-called primitive peoples instinctively understand basic spiritual truths; they express them in terms that make sense to them, not in the sorts of analytical terms WE use for everything, but that doesn't alter the depth of their understanding.
I'd LOVE to discuss spiritual issues with an intersexual, and see how their very different view of the world shapes their insights, and what they can "see" that I can't; until that happens, I'm going to redouble my efforts to screen gender out of my analyses of spiritual matters.
It follows, I thought, that to see our true spiritual nature, we'd have to try to look at things withOUT the distortions caused by gender, and that the further we could detach ourselves from gender, the greater spiritual insight we could achieve.
Then, my thoughts jumped to those folks who naturally have no gender distortions in their perceptions, because they belong to neither standard gender; intersexuals.
Then, I recalled that "primitive" cultures, although universally seeing physical abnormalities as bad, even bad enough in some cases to kill deformed infants, often saw intersexuals as blessed, sacred, possessed of all sorts of special powers. Once again, we can see that so-called primitive peoples instinctively understand basic spiritual truths; they express them in terms that make sense to them, not in the sorts of analytical terms WE use for everything, but that doesn't alter the depth of their understanding.
I'd LOVE to discuss spiritual issues with an intersexual, and see how their very different view of the world shapes their insights, and what they can "see" that I can't; until that happens, I'm going to redouble my efforts to screen gender out of my analyses of spiritual matters.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Albino raspberries
Sounds like a good band name, doesn't it? Believe it or not, there really ARE albino raspberries; they're not white, they're pale yellow, and when my husband sprung them on me they sort of gave me the creeps... they look vaguely fungus-ish, and when the little round bits got detached they looked like midget corn kernels. Fortunately, they tasted just like regular raspberries... which makes you wonder why they bothered to invent this new variety in the first place. Maybe it's because they count on guys like my husband that can't resist a weird new food? ;-)
Know what ELSE he got at the grocery store? Some kind of dried, salted banana things with sesame seeds; they look like those curls of bark that come off of some trees... but with, well, fungus on them. I don't like bananas (which also have that unhealthy-looking pale yellow color, now that I think about it), so I didn't add this odd snack to my menu for the day.
I must be more sleep-deprived than I thought, to be seeing so many connections between food and fungus, lol. Here's another one; the food that probably looks the most like fungus is cauliflower... and it tastes just as nasty as it looks. Its cousin, broccoflower, which is just what it sounds like, a hybrid between cauliflower and broccoli, is almost as bad. My husband likes both of them-no surprise there.
There is, of course, REAL fungus that most people eat-mushrooms. Why anyone would even THINK of eating one of those slimy, disgusting things is beyond me. Truffles are also fungus, and they're considered a delicacy; whose idea was THAT? Probably the same person who decided that fish eggs (caviar) should be a delicacy...... GROSS!!
It MUST be biologically counterproductive to find healthy foods like bananas and cauliflower, not just bad tasting, but bad LOOKING; what did my primitive ancestors EAT, in the absence of pizza and French fries and such, lol?
Know what ELSE he got at the grocery store? Some kind of dried, salted banana things with sesame seeds; they look like those curls of bark that come off of some trees... but with, well, fungus on them. I don't like bananas (which also have that unhealthy-looking pale yellow color, now that I think about it), so I didn't add this odd snack to my menu for the day.
I must be more sleep-deprived than I thought, to be seeing so many connections between food and fungus, lol. Here's another one; the food that probably looks the most like fungus is cauliflower... and it tastes just as nasty as it looks. Its cousin, broccoflower, which is just what it sounds like, a hybrid between cauliflower and broccoli, is almost as bad. My husband likes both of them-no surprise there.
There is, of course, REAL fungus that most people eat-mushrooms. Why anyone would even THINK of eating one of those slimy, disgusting things is beyond me. Truffles are also fungus, and they're considered a delicacy; whose idea was THAT? Probably the same person who decided that fish eggs (caviar) should be a delicacy...... GROSS!!
It MUST be biologically counterproductive to find healthy foods like bananas and cauliflower, not just bad tasting, but bad LOOKING; what did my primitive ancestors EAT, in the absence of pizza and French fries and such, lol?
Monday, June 14, 2004
Inspired by "Bruce Almighty"
Part of the premise of that movie, for those who haven't seen it, is what a guy does when God gives him divine powers, and it was that concept that made me think; what would *I* do if I suddenly had those sorts of powers?
As is usually shown in movies and TV shows, I'm guessing that I'd start out by doing a variety of silly tricks to play with the power, get a feel for it; I think it's human nature to want to try out a new "toy," and with something so powerful, the instinct would be to try it on some minor things with no potential for disaster first.
Once I felt comfortable with the powers, I'd apply myself to figuring out how to keep them hidden from everyone; yeah, it's tempting to want to brag and show off, but once people really internalize that you have power over them and their lives, they'll get as far away from you as possible, with the exception of those who think they can use you to further their own ends... and what would it gain a person to get godlike powers and lose all human relationships?
I wouldn't dare make any significant changes to my appearance, but I'd get rid of my various aches and pains, give myself "magic muscle tone" that wouldn't require me to work out any more, and alter my metabolism so that I could EAT. I'd also eliminate my insomnia and nightmares; being able to fall right asleep, stay asleep, and have only pleasant dreams, would feel like heaven on Earth all by itself.
I'd plan a little trip to Vegas so that I could "win" enough $ to make me quietly wealthy through "clever" commodities investments; I couldn't just "create" the $, as I'd have to keep the powers secret from my husband, in order for us to maintain our relationship (he's used to me having power, lol, but not THAT much), and he'd notice if we were suddenly wealthy out of thin air.
At some point in all of this, it'd occur to me that I had a variety of ways to see certain famous hotties naked with no risk of getting caught or causing any trouble, and yes, I'd do it; don't believe anyone who claims they wouldn't, and don't try to tell yourself that YOU wouldn't... every adult human being has the urge to see sexy naked people. Is it moral to peep? Of course not. Would that stop me from getting some illicit thrills from my "powers"? Not a chance.
What about sex with some of these uber-babes? Under the circumstances, pregnancy and disease could be undeniably avoided, and I could even wipe the minds of those involved so that no one would ever know, and so that their relationships would be unaffected by guilt or distraction; my husband's the sort of man who would think that my being able to "get" a famous man would be a feather in his cap, but since the guy wouldn't remember, it'd make my husband smell a rat if I'd told him it happened...... it's an unprecedented moral point, but since it wouldn't be hurting anyone, or doing anything that would upset my husband if he knew, I'd go for it. And so would most people; not all, as some people have less "modern" marriages than mine and would have the grit to stick to their vows, but pretty darned close to all.
With my $ and "influence," I could go anywhere, to any event, and meet any person that struck my fancy; I don't like to travel, but I'd exert myself to take advantage of those opportunities.
And what would I do to help mankind? Researchers all around the world would start having radical new ideas pop into their heads, and cures for every medical problem from the common cold to cancer would sweep the planet... a source of cheap, clean, inexhaustible power would be discovered and cause the biggest changes to human society since the invention of the wheel... a can't-fail and harm-free form of birth control would be found that would free women from the tyranny of biology forever... anything that I could think of that would help humanity without requiring me to alter human nature or disrupt cultures in a potentially disastrous manner I would do just as fast as I could figure out how-just because I'd peep at a few famous butts doesn't mean that I wouldn't try to help my fellow man.
I'd help people on a smaller scale, too, of course; life would suddenly get easier for all my loved ones, and I'd do what I safely could for the people I heard about on the news who needed some "paranormal assistance."
At some point, I'd want to learn all the secrets of the universe(s); not right away, because the truth might change me too much to be able to enjoy those simple pleasures that seem so wonderful to an "unenlightened" human, and I'd WANT those things... and the truth might make me cease feeling kinship with the human race, and lure me off to a spiritual plane before I did my duty to mankind, and I'd want to do that duty before I took the final leap into... whatever's out there.
It's amazing what thoughts you can get from a Jim Carrey movie.
As is usually shown in movies and TV shows, I'm guessing that I'd start out by doing a variety of silly tricks to play with the power, get a feel for it; I think it's human nature to want to try out a new "toy," and with something so powerful, the instinct would be to try it on some minor things with no potential for disaster first.
Once I felt comfortable with the powers, I'd apply myself to figuring out how to keep them hidden from everyone; yeah, it's tempting to want to brag and show off, but once people really internalize that you have power over them and their lives, they'll get as far away from you as possible, with the exception of those who think they can use you to further their own ends... and what would it gain a person to get godlike powers and lose all human relationships?
I wouldn't dare make any significant changes to my appearance, but I'd get rid of my various aches and pains, give myself "magic muscle tone" that wouldn't require me to work out any more, and alter my metabolism so that I could EAT. I'd also eliminate my insomnia and nightmares; being able to fall right asleep, stay asleep, and have only pleasant dreams, would feel like heaven on Earth all by itself.
I'd plan a little trip to Vegas so that I could "win" enough $ to make me quietly wealthy through "clever" commodities investments; I couldn't just "create" the $, as I'd have to keep the powers secret from my husband, in order for us to maintain our relationship (he's used to me having power, lol, but not THAT much), and he'd notice if we were suddenly wealthy out of thin air.
At some point in all of this, it'd occur to me that I had a variety of ways to see certain famous hotties naked with no risk of getting caught or causing any trouble, and yes, I'd do it; don't believe anyone who claims they wouldn't, and don't try to tell yourself that YOU wouldn't... every adult human being has the urge to see sexy naked people. Is it moral to peep? Of course not. Would that stop me from getting some illicit thrills from my "powers"? Not a chance.
What about sex with some of these uber-babes? Under the circumstances, pregnancy and disease could be undeniably avoided, and I could even wipe the minds of those involved so that no one would ever know, and so that their relationships would be unaffected by guilt or distraction; my husband's the sort of man who would think that my being able to "get" a famous man would be a feather in his cap, but since the guy wouldn't remember, it'd make my husband smell a rat if I'd told him it happened...... it's an unprecedented moral point, but since it wouldn't be hurting anyone, or doing anything that would upset my husband if he knew, I'd go for it. And so would most people; not all, as some people have less "modern" marriages than mine and would have the grit to stick to their vows, but pretty darned close to all.
With my $ and "influence," I could go anywhere, to any event, and meet any person that struck my fancy; I don't like to travel, but I'd exert myself to take advantage of those opportunities.
And what would I do to help mankind? Researchers all around the world would start having radical new ideas pop into their heads, and cures for every medical problem from the common cold to cancer would sweep the planet... a source of cheap, clean, inexhaustible power would be discovered and cause the biggest changes to human society since the invention of the wheel... a can't-fail and harm-free form of birth control would be found that would free women from the tyranny of biology forever... anything that I could think of that would help humanity without requiring me to alter human nature or disrupt cultures in a potentially disastrous manner I would do just as fast as I could figure out how-just because I'd peep at a few famous butts doesn't mean that I wouldn't try to help my fellow man.
I'd help people on a smaller scale, too, of course; life would suddenly get easier for all my loved ones, and I'd do what I safely could for the people I heard about on the news who needed some "paranormal assistance."
At some point, I'd want to learn all the secrets of the universe(s); not right away, because the truth might change me too much to be able to enjoy those simple pleasures that seem so wonderful to an "unenlightened" human, and I'd WANT those things... and the truth might make me cease feeling kinship with the human race, and lure me off to a spiritual plane before I did my duty to mankind, and I'd want to do that duty before I took the final leap into... whatever's out there.
It's amazing what thoughts you can get from a Jim Carrey movie.
Sunday, June 13, 2004
A plea to the creators of websites and banners
Has anyone besides me noticed how AWFUL most websites and banners look? I understand that the dreadful ones are done by total amateurs, or at least I HOPE they are, lol, but with a little common sense anyone can do a graphic layout that, if not necessarily gorgeous, is at least not UGLY.
1) Pick a font, any font, and STICK to it; the surest sign of a clueless designer is when it looks like they're trying to get every font they have onto every page.
2) Ok, I lied, it can't be just ANY font; there are literally THOUSANDS of free fonts available online, so there's no excuse to use one that's hard to read, and, when you're incorporating text with artwork, there's no excuse to use a clunky font that looks like you lifted it from a newspaper. Restrain yourself with font sizes, too; there should be ONE size for all text, and ONE size for titles and such if applicable-and that's IT. The same concept goes for font colors.
3) And speaking of font colors; nearly all of the possible colors are difficult to read-just accept that, no matter how much it pains you. Use black or a very dark color on a background that's white or very pale, or do it the other way around, and keep the other colors for your artwork, dividers, and navigation graphics.
4) As a general rule, less is more; resist the urge to cram every page with colors, images, animations, borders, patterned backgrounds and anything else that's not nailed down... and that goes X 10 for banners, which can be so full of overlapping elements that you can hardly sort them out. If the LAST thing you notice about a page or banner is the text, that's a sure sign that you've overdone it; decorative elements are supposed to be added like hot sauce, a drop here and a dash there, NOT slathered on like ketchup.
5) If you want to get a little closer to professional-looking layouts, especially for banners, use this basic rule of graphic artists; once you have what you think is the exact design you want, throw half of it away. I know it sounds harsh, but it's human nature to want to say and show everything all at once, and that's NEVER your best option; compare websites and banners that you know were made by pros to ones you know were made by amateurs, and you'll see for yourself... the profesional ones have pared it all down to the bare essentials, and they make each element count.
Do you think that the next time I see horrible layout on a website, I should sign the guestbook with a URL that leads to this post? ;-)
1) Pick a font, any font, and STICK to it; the surest sign of a clueless designer is when it looks like they're trying to get every font they have onto every page.
2) Ok, I lied, it can't be just ANY font; there are literally THOUSANDS of free fonts available online, so there's no excuse to use one that's hard to read, and, when you're incorporating text with artwork, there's no excuse to use a clunky font that looks like you lifted it from a newspaper. Restrain yourself with font sizes, too; there should be ONE size for all text, and ONE size for titles and such if applicable-and that's IT. The same concept goes for font colors.
3) And speaking of font colors; nearly all of the possible colors are difficult to read-just accept that, no matter how much it pains you. Use black or a very dark color on a background that's white or very pale, or do it the other way around, and keep the other colors for your artwork, dividers, and navigation graphics.
4) As a general rule, less is more; resist the urge to cram every page with colors, images, animations, borders, patterned backgrounds and anything else that's not nailed down... and that goes X 10 for banners, which can be so full of overlapping elements that you can hardly sort them out. If the LAST thing you notice about a page or banner is the text, that's a sure sign that you've overdone it; decorative elements are supposed to be added like hot sauce, a drop here and a dash there, NOT slathered on like ketchup.
5) If you want to get a little closer to professional-looking layouts, especially for banners, use this basic rule of graphic artists; once you have what you think is the exact design you want, throw half of it away. I know it sounds harsh, but it's human nature to want to say and show everything all at once, and that's NEVER your best option; compare websites and banners that you know were made by pros to ones you know were made by amateurs, and you'll see for yourself... the profesional ones have pared it all down to the bare essentials, and they make each element count.
Do you think that the next time I see horrible layout on a website, I should sign the guestbook with a URL that leads to this post? ;-)
