Saturday, October 16, 2004
Easy sex vs relationships
In the not so long ago days, the thought that women might enjoy, much less desire, sex never even crossed anyone's mind; sex was something a man did TO a woman, not WITH her, and the woman was just supposed to grit her teeth and go along with it because it was her marital duty. Couples did it when the man wanted to; the woman had no right to EVER say "no," and if she actually wanted that 30-second tumble and he didn't, she was out of luck... HE was the boss. (That sounds grim to modern minds, but in those days most people were satisfied with life, and nearly all marriages lasted 'til death did them part, neither of which goal WE'VE managed to achieve, so don't knock it too hard.)
So, how has easy sex caused us problems? It used to be that a man would offer to support a woman, and any children she might have, for the rest of his life just to have access to sex; as a result, he saw his wife as a valuable commodity even if he didn't love her (even in arranged marriages, they DID usually grow to love each other, luckily). A woman was seen as an asset, and a necessity, in a man's life, and he wasn't considered to have truly achieved manhood until he married, so he took the issue of choosing a woman to be a VERY serious one, the consequences of which would be with him forever.
These days, by contrast, a man can have sex just because he asked for it, and as a result, values the women who give it to him at no more than the drink or 2, or dinner, he paid for to get them to put out... is it just me, or is this NOT an improvement? I mean, I'm not thrilled at the thought of being essentially property, but being seen as essentially valueless is WORSE; ladies, the cold hard truth is that men value a thing based on what it cost them in time, effort, and $ to get it... they see anything they get too quickly, too easily, or even too often as not being worth much. (Yes, there ARE still men in the world who respect women, and I'm sure all the men reading this fall into that category, but I'm talking about the overall attitude of the modern man.) In just a few decades, the average man has gone from seeing getting involved with a woman as getting ready to enter the "mature adult" stage of his life, with all the benefits that implied, to seeing women as nearly as disposable as the condoms he's hopefully wearing. He's using playing house to get more convenient access to sex, and to all the housekeeping and other benefits he'd get from the woman if they were married, withOUT actually marrying her. He's avoiding marriage, and its implied responsibilities, as long as possible... and failing at it most of the time when he DOES give in and head for the altar, because he figures he can always find a new woman who'll be willing to have sex with him, so why bother WORKING at it? (Yes, women make mistakes within marriage too, but that's a whole different topic.)
That's not the only way easy sex has adversely affected relationships, though; the other is that we're suddenly having to deal with something that had never been an issue before... the unfortunate fact that different people have different preferences as to sexual frequency. The supposed equality between men and women in bed means that some women are demanding sex more often than the men are interested, or even ABLE, to provide it, and many men have discovered that the newfound (historically speaking) ability of women to say no means that they don't get it as often as they'd like it (and usually get it less and less as time goes by).
This means that there's yet another element we have to consider when deciding whether or not to hook up with someone long-term; as the divorce rate, not to mention the rate at which non-marital relationships break up, show, we're not doing too well. We tell ourselves that the quality and quantity of sex we have early on will continue forever, although realistically we know that's just about impossible, and then the partner with the higher sex drive is left high and dry... and looking around for more action, all too often. Or, we tell ourselves that if we truly love each other, the specifics of our sex lives won't matter... and that's actually TRUE for people who are mature, committed, logic-minded adults who can see the big picture, but how many people fit THAT description? For the overwhelming majority of couples, though, their differing levels of sexual desire cause endless hassle and heartbreak, and often lead to the ending of the relationship.
So, what can we do about it? We can be honest, with ourselves and our prospective partners, about how often we've historically wanted sex AFTER the early rush of infatuation has worn off... and, if the frequencies differ significantly, we have to ponder, REALISTICALLY, if the more highly sexed partner will be willing to make up the difference with masturbation, FOREVER, and, if not, as will often be the case, we have to accept that that's a deal-breaker, and part company. It won't be easy, but it'll be much easier than ending a long-term relationship that should never have happened, especially if you got married, and 10X that if there are kids involved.
We all like to think that turning sex into an artform rather than a duty, and eliminating the social stigma to having it outside of wedlock, has benefited us, but the sad reality is that it's made it far more difficult to get and keep relationships... and a lifetime romantic bond is worth more than all the sex in the world. If you want to get the big prize, don't jump into sex too easily, and don't get involved with people that do; treat sexual access to your body as if it were the most spectacular thing a person could ever get... and you'll end up with someone who thinks just that.
So, how has easy sex caused us problems? It used to be that a man would offer to support a woman, and any children she might have, for the rest of his life just to have access to sex; as a result, he saw his wife as a valuable commodity even if he didn't love her (even in arranged marriages, they DID usually grow to love each other, luckily). A woman was seen as an asset, and a necessity, in a man's life, and he wasn't considered to have truly achieved manhood until he married, so he took the issue of choosing a woman to be a VERY serious one, the consequences of which would be with him forever.
These days, by contrast, a man can have sex just because he asked for it, and as a result, values the women who give it to him at no more than the drink or 2, or dinner, he paid for to get them to put out... is it just me, or is this NOT an improvement? I mean, I'm not thrilled at the thought of being essentially property, but being seen as essentially valueless is WORSE; ladies, the cold hard truth is that men value a thing based on what it cost them in time, effort, and $ to get it... they see anything they get too quickly, too easily, or even too often as not being worth much. (Yes, there ARE still men in the world who respect women, and I'm sure all the men reading this fall into that category, but I'm talking about the overall attitude of the modern man.) In just a few decades, the average man has gone from seeing getting involved with a woman as getting ready to enter the "mature adult" stage of his life, with all the benefits that implied, to seeing women as nearly as disposable as the condoms he's hopefully wearing. He's using playing house to get more convenient access to sex, and to all the housekeeping and other benefits he'd get from the woman if they were married, withOUT actually marrying her. He's avoiding marriage, and its implied responsibilities, as long as possible... and failing at it most of the time when he DOES give in and head for the altar, because he figures he can always find a new woman who'll be willing to have sex with him, so why bother WORKING at it? (Yes, women make mistakes within marriage too, but that's a whole different topic.)
That's not the only way easy sex has adversely affected relationships, though; the other is that we're suddenly having to deal with something that had never been an issue before... the unfortunate fact that different people have different preferences as to sexual frequency. The supposed equality between men and women in bed means that some women are demanding sex more often than the men are interested, or even ABLE, to provide it, and many men have discovered that the newfound (historically speaking) ability of women to say no means that they don't get it as often as they'd like it (and usually get it less and less as time goes by).
This means that there's yet another element we have to consider when deciding whether or not to hook up with someone long-term; as the divorce rate, not to mention the rate at which non-marital relationships break up, show, we're not doing too well. We tell ourselves that the quality and quantity of sex we have early on will continue forever, although realistically we know that's just about impossible, and then the partner with the higher sex drive is left high and dry... and looking around for more action, all too often. Or, we tell ourselves that if we truly love each other, the specifics of our sex lives won't matter... and that's actually TRUE for people who are mature, committed, logic-minded adults who can see the big picture, but how many people fit THAT description? For the overwhelming majority of couples, though, their differing levels of sexual desire cause endless hassle and heartbreak, and often lead to the ending of the relationship.
So, what can we do about it? We can be honest, with ourselves and our prospective partners, about how often we've historically wanted sex AFTER the early rush of infatuation has worn off... and, if the frequencies differ significantly, we have to ponder, REALISTICALLY, if the more highly sexed partner will be willing to make up the difference with masturbation, FOREVER, and, if not, as will often be the case, we have to accept that that's a deal-breaker, and part company. It won't be easy, but it'll be much easier than ending a long-term relationship that should never have happened, especially if you got married, and 10X that if there are kids involved.
We all like to think that turning sex into an artform rather than a duty, and eliminating the social stigma to having it outside of wedlock, has benefited us, but the sad reality is that it's made it far more difficult to get and keep relationships... and a lifetime romantic bond is worth more than all the sex in the world. If you want to get the big prize, don't jump into sex too easily, and don't get involved with people that do; treat sexual access to your body as if it were the most spectacular thing a person could ever get... and you'll end up with someone who thinks just that.
Friday, October 15, 2004
Addicted to that rush
If aliens landed and asked us why we do things like bungee jump just to get a thrill, what on Earth could we tell them? More to the point, what would we tell our fellow humans of even a century ago if called upon to explain it to THEM? We've been in nonstop pursuit of adrenaline highs for so long that we've forgotten that this sort of thing is NOT normal for our species; you don't see people in so-called "primitive" cultures wasting their time with this stuff, do you? Have you ever read about our ancestors playing extreme sports or jumping out of airplanes? Ok, granted, they didn't HAVE airplanes, but the point is that the LAST thing they thought to do in their spare time was risk injury or worse in the name of having "fun."
Certainly, there have always been a tiny % of people who were eager to take risks... but there was never anything resembling the endless pursuit of excitement we have now. In our "primitive" days, LIFE was "exciting" enough, what with never being sure of having enough food, the constant risk of illness and injury with no medical care, big carnivores watching from the bushes and licking their chops, and the other endless dangers and hardships of life in those days. If someone DID take an unnecessary risk, it was usually to win status within their community, not for the thrill of it... which of course meant that it wasn't really unnecessary.
Once a culture gets to the point where life is pretty safe and some folks have the luxury of not working all day long to provide food, you see a little bit more of this sort of thing; a handful of men will start having the urge to climb mountains or invent bullfighting. Still, that'd be the exception rather than the rule; virtually everyone will still be using their spare time to just hang around and drink with their friends, talk, maybe dance... NOT looking for a way to get a "rush."
Contrast that with how WE live. I don't mean just those who participate in extreme sports, either; how about the majority of us who feel the need for speed as soon as we get into a car? The endless parade of kids rocketing along on skateboards? And it goes far beyond these overtly physical things-we have a lengthy list of other ways to get our pulses pounding these days: horror movies, video games, the highs of infatuation and sex with new people, gambling, watching sports, the increasingly insane rides at theme parks... anything that we can get ourselves worked up over becomes the focus of our free time.
Why? Because life isn't "exciting enough" anymore; we're not fighting every waking moment to get enough food to not starve to death, and what we ARE doing when we work is usually boring and repetitive... and perhaps we're biologically set up to expect a certain amount of adrenaline flowing every day, and if it doesn't come naturally we seek it out. We have huge chunks of free time to fill compared to what earlier civilizations had, and maybe once we've maxed out on just hanging around relaxing, many of us need to do something else. We don't spend all day doing backbreaking physical labor, so we have energy we need to burn up, and we're stressed all the time due to the unnatural pressures of modern life, and need to blow off steam; getting that adrenaline deluge does those things for us. We're wealthy and spoiled, and life is too easy for us; some of us need to create a challenge to make up for that, and some of us need that rush so that we're feeling SOMETHING... something we're increasingly not willing to put any long-term effort into achieving. Forget building or creating something, and getting a thrill from that; put on the TV and scream hysterically over a bunch of guys running around a playing field, as if it mattered what they were doing, or go out and look for someone new to have sex with. Fast, easy... and ultimately empty.
An unfortunate side effect of all this thrillseeking (I mean besides venereal disease and unplanned pregnancy in epic proportions) is how we've become a nation of addicts; there are swarms of people addicted to anything that can give a rush, from drugs to food to gambling to shopping. Addiction used to be virtually nonexistent, and still is in so-called "primitive" cultures; it's a luxury only we "civilized folks" can afford, in response to the need only WE have... to keep artificially creating excitement in our lives to make us feel "alive."
I don't suppose there's any point in suggesting that we strive instead to create rich, well-rounded, stimulating and fulfilling lives for ourselves so that we don't NEED to seek out excitement...
Certainly, there have always been a tiny % of people who were eager to take risks... but there was never anything resembling the endless pursuit of excitement we have now. In our "primitive" days, LIFE was "exciting" enough, what with never being sure of having enough food, the constant risk of illness and injury with no medical care, big carnivores watching from the bushes and licking their chops, and the other endless dangers and hardships of life in those days. If someone DID take an unnecessary risk, it was usually to win status within their community, not for the thrill of it... which of course meant that it wasn't really unnecessary.
Once a culture gets to the point where life is pretty safe and some folks have the luxury of not working all day long to provide food, you see a little bit more of this sort of thing; a handful of men will start having the urge to climb mountains or invent bullfighting. Still, that'd be the exception rather than the rule; virtually everyone will still be using their spare time to just hang around and drink with their friends, talk, maybe dance... NOT looking for a way to get a "rush."
Contrast that with how WE live. I don't mean just those who participate in extreme sports, either; how about the majority of us who feel the need for speed as soon as we get into a car? The endless parade of kids rocketing along on skateboards? And it goes far beyond these overtly physical things-we have a lengthy list of other ways to get our pulses pounding these days: horror movies, video games, the highs of infatuation and sex with new people, gambling, watching sports, the increasingly insane rides at theme parks... anything that we can get ourselves worked up over becomes the focus of our free time.
Why? Because life isn't "exciting enough" anymore; we're not fighting every waking moment to get enough food to not starve to death, and what we ARE doing when we work is usually boring and repetitive... and perhaps we're biologically set up to expect a certain amount of adrenaline flowing every day, and if it doesn't come naturally we seek it out. We have huge chunks of free time to fill compared to what earlier civilizations had, and maybe once we've maxed out on just hanging around relaxing, many of us need to do something else. We don't spend all day doing backbreaking physical labor, so we have energy we need to burn up, and we're stressed all the time due to the unnatural pressures of modern life, and need to blow off steam; getting that adrenaline deluge does those things for us. We're wealthy and spoiled, and life is too easy for us; some of us need to create a challenge to make up for that, and some of us need that rush so that we're feeling SOMETHING... something we're increasingly not willing to put any long-term effort into achieving. Forget building or creating something, and getting a thrill from that; put on the TV and scream hysterically over a bunch of guys running around a playing field, as if it mattered what they were doing, or go out and look for someone new to have sex with. Fast, easy... and ultimately empty.
An unfortunate side effect of all this thrillseeking (I mean besides venereal disease and unplanned pregnancy in epic proportions) is how we've become a nation of addicts; there are swarms of people addicted to anything that can give a rush, from drugs to food to gambling to shopping. Addiction used to be virtually nonexistent, and still is in so-called "primitive" cultures; it's a luxury only we "civilized folks" can afford, in response to the need only WE have... to keep artificially creating excitement in our lives to make us feel "alive."
I don't suppose there's any point in suggesting that we strive instead to create rich, well-rounded, stimulating and fulfilling lives for ourselves so that we don't NEED to seek out excitement...
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Accidental medical discoveries
Considering the amount of time, $ and effort that goes into medical research, it amazes me how often major medical discoveries are made by accident. For example, when seizure patients found that their chronic anxiety went away when they took the newer class of anti-seizure meds, such as Neurontin and Topamax, we suddenly had available far better meds, with fewer side effects, for anxiety than those who were actually trying to develop psych meds had been able to come up with.
Things that weren't meds and weren't even seen as having any possible medical value have also turned out to be VERY powerful treatments, as discovered accidentally by the sufferers themselves: Schizophrenics have been smoking to reduce their symptoms forever, and science has just recently discovered that the cigarettes ARE, in fact, reducing the severity of their symptoms; there's resistance to the study of tobacco as medicine, but they're still trying to push it forward so that they can develop a stronger version of whichever the exact chemical is that's doing the trick. There's even more resistance to the study of something that cancer (and later on, AIDS ) patients discovered; marijuana combats nausea better than anything else that's available. (It's bad enough that the medical community is often slow to learn, but then the government hampers them when they DO figure something out... what excuse do they have to block the study of ANY drug that might help people who are suffering so hideously?)
In several instances, entire new CATEGORIES of drugs have been discovered by accident. For instance, Viagra was discovered when researchers who were trying to come up with a med for heart disease found out that some of the men in the study were getting erections from the drug, thus leading to the first treatment for erectile dysfunction:
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1511/is_1_20/ai_53501788
Another example is minoxidil, which started out as a drug for hypertension, and then, when some of the men taking it started growing back hair they'd lost, became the first valid treatment to regrow hair. Yet another example was the prescription acne cream that turned out to also be the first topical treatment for wrinkles; Retin-A.
Even more awe-inspiring than any of the above is the news here:
http://www.cnn.com/2004/HEALTH/conditions/10/13/obesity.surgery.ap/index.html
They've discovered that an astonishing % of obese diabetics who get stomach stapling are CURED of their diabetes; some of these cures are presumed to be as a result of the weightloss, but some people are cured even BEFORE they lose enough weight to matter... something about the way the digestive system is altered is somehow causing the body to heal itself. They have so many things that they're studying that they HOPE will cure diabetes someday, and here's something that cures it NOW... and all they have to do is figure out HOW, and then find a way to duplicate the effect. Diabetes has become so common that you probably have a person or 2 that you care about who has it, as I do, and if it runs in your family you might have many; keep your fingers crossed that this latest accidental medical discovery gets turned into a workable procedure in time to save them all.
Things that weren't meds and weren't even seen as having any possible medical value have also turned out to be VERY powerful treatments, as discovered accidentally by the sufferers themselves: Schizophrenics have been smoking to reduce their symptoms forever, and science has just recently discovered that the cigarettes ARE, in fact, reducing the severity of their symptoms; there's resistance to the study of tobacco as medicine, but they're still trying to push it forward so that they can develop a stronger version of whichever the exact chemical is that's doing the trick. There's even more resistance to the study of something that cancer (and later on, AIDS ) patients discovered; marijuana combats nausea better than anything else that's available. (It's bad enough that the medical community is often slow to learn, but then the government hampers them when they DO figure something out... what excuse do they have to block the study of ANY drug that might help people who are suffering so hideously?)
In several instances, entire new CATEGORIES of drugs have been discovered by accident. For instance, Viagra was discovered when researchers who were trying to come up with a med for heart disease found out that some of the men in the study were getting erections from the drug, thus leading to the first treatment for erectile dysfunction:
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1511/is_1_20/ai_53501788
Another example is minoxidil, which started out as a drug for hypertension, and then, when some of the men taking it started growing back hair they'd lost, became the first valid treatment to regrow hair. Yet another example was the prescription acne cream that turned out to also be the first topical treatment for wrinkles; Retin-A.
Even more awe-inspiring than any of the above is the news here:
http://www.cnn.com/2004/HEALTH/conditions/10/13/obesity.surgery.ap/index.html
They've discovered that an astonishing % of obese diabetics who get stomach stapling are CURED of their diabetes; some of these cures are presumed to be as a result of the weightloss, but some people are cured even BEFORE they lose enough weight to matter... something about the way the digestive system is altered is somehow causing the body to heal itself. They have so many things that they're studying that they HOPE will cure diabetes someday, and here's something that cures it NOW... and all they have to do is figure out HOW, and then find a way to duplicate the effect. Diabetes has become so common that you probably have a person or 2 that you care about who has it, as I do, and if it runs in your family you might have many; keep your fingers crossed that this latest accidental medical discovery gets turned into a workable procedure in time to save them all.
Dolls and mannequins-why do they scare us?
Have you ever noticed how many horror stories, movies and episodes of "Twilight Zone" circle around dolls and mannequins (not to mention ventriloquist dummies)? Have you ever wondered WHY?
We humans are an intensely visual species; our visual recognition circuits are in fact OVER-active, which is why we see animals in clouds and monsters in shadows. This is a survival mechanism, because it allows us to interpret if things we just get a fleeting glimpse of might be dangerous (or edible). The end result is that we react with fear to things that are actually harmless; how many times have you seen something like a chair with a coat draped over it out of the corner of your eye and thought you saw a crouching man, and felt a surge of panic in the instant before your rational mind told you what you were actually seeing? It's not surprising, then, that objects that are designed to actually look like people often give us a vague sense of the creeps, especially at those times when our eyes don't immediately register that their faces aren't those of real people.
Our childhood experiences with dolls make us even more willing to see plastic replicas of humans as living beings; most of us played with dolls as kids (yes, guys, "action figures" count), and we pretended they were alive... when we were young enough, we tended to BELIEVE that the dolls were really alive in some way. It's standard for kids to see their dolls in the flickering shadows of their rooms at night and think that the dolls have come to life and are coming to get them; more than a few of us have even had nightmares of just that. It's easy to see why some folks are actively afraid of them even as adults, and how even those of us who aren't can easily be sucked into believing that they could come alive with malevolent energy and come after us... hence the success of the aforementioned stories, movies and episodes.
Some genius made use of this concept in one of the most brilliant ads I've ever seen; the latest one from Levi's
http://adland.tv/commercials/levis-mannequin-aka-urban-legend-2004-030-usa
It shows a guy who works at a clothing store pulling a pair of jeans off of a mannequin, putting them on, and taking off. We see the mannequin in the crowd as the man crosses the street, and again as he drives by, and then outside of his house looking in (with thunder and lightning to add atmosphere); then, we see the door opening, and the last bit is the mannequin's shadow falling over the man's jeans-clad legs. The final brilliant touch; the music in the background is that cool old Screamin' Jay Hawkins song that goes "I put a spell on you... because you're MINE." Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. :-)
We humans are an intensely visual species; our visual recognition circuits are in fact OVER-active, which is why we see animals in clouds and monsters in shadows. This is a survival mechanism, because it allows us to interpret if things we just get a fleeting glimpse of might be dangerous (or edible). The end result is that we react with fear to things that are actually harmless; how many times have you seen something like a chair with a coat draped over it out of the corner of your eye and thought you saw a crouching man, and felt a surge of panic in the instant before your rational mind told you what you were actually seeing? It's not surprising, then, that objects that are designed to actually look like people often give us a vague sense of the creeps, especially at those times when our eyes don't immediately register that their faces aren't those of real people.
Our childhood experiences with dolls make us even more willing to see plastic replicas of humans as living beings; most of us played with dolls as kids (yes, guys, "action figures" count), and we pretended they were alive... when we were young enough, we tended to BELIEVE that the dolls were really alive in some way. It's standard for kids to see their dolls in the flickering shadows of their rooms at night and think that the dolls have come to life and are coming to get them; more than a few of us have even had nightmares of just that. It's easy to see why some folks are actively afraid of them even as adults, and how even those of us who aren't can easily be sucked into believing that they could come alive with malevolent energy and come after us... hence the success of the aforementioned stories, movies and episodes.
Some genius made use of this concept in one of the most brilliant ads I've ever seen; the latest one from Levi's
http://adland.tv/commercials/levis-mannequin-aka-urban-legend-2004-030-usa
It shows a guy who works at a clothing store pulling a pair of jeans off of a mannequin, putting them on, and taking off. We see the mannequin in the crowd as the man crosses the street, and again as he drives by, and then outside of his house looking in (with thunder and lightning to add atmosphere); then, we see the door opening, and the last bit is the mannequin's shadow falling over the man's jeans-clad legs. The final brilliant touch; the music in the background is that cool old Screamin' Jay Hawkins song that goes "I put a spell on you... because you're MINE." Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. :-)
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
UFO's
Certainly, there ARE unidentified flying objects; people are always seeing things flying around that no one can ever identify. I've seen 2 of them myself; both times, my parents saw them too, as did many other people, who called the police and news stations to report exactly what WE had seen. One time, it was a glowing white saucer shape, and the 2nd time it was yellow... and the yellow one came down and hovered over an entire football stadium full of people, mind you, so there's no doubt that it not only existed but was something that in fact could not be identified.
But, just because some glowing things fly around, does that mean that ALIENS are in them, or that they're spaceships or devices of any kind? *I* didn't see anything to suggest that those saucer shapes were ships full of little green men. It's not that I'm arrogant enough to think that Earth is the only planet with life, or with sentient life, in all the vast universe, and I think it not only possible, but even likely, that there ARE beings out there somewhere that are more advanced than we are, perhaps FAR more advanced... but does that mean that they have anything to do with UFO's?
The path I saw the white one follow could have been the result of a blob of energy going from one point to another; I don't know what KIND of energy, or how it got there, but there are so many things we haven't pinned down yet that that's no surprise. Could the energy have been a living thing? A psychic phenomenon? Astral projection? How about a spirit? Sure... and yes, it COULD have been a ship, maybe even with aliens in it-I can't prove it wasn't.
The yellow UFO HAD to have had some sort of intelligence behind it, because of the way it hovered; it's almost eerie how it singled out the biggest thing going on in that area and went over to take a look. What form of intelligence? No way to know... but its existence does NOT mean that there was any intelligence behind the white one-there could certainly be more than one sort of energy thing flying around (although Occam's Razor would point to it being more likely that there was only one, of course).
What about all the people who say they've seen UFO's land, and aliens emerge, often to bring them in for gruesome medical procedures? I'm a little skeptical of all the claims of aliens sticking probes up people's butts; I can't imagine that a race advanced enough to come here would think there was anything important to discover up there, can you? Stories of this type seem more like fantasies about the ickiest things that people can imagine being done to them rather than descriptions of how an advanced race would behave, whether they were studying us or not, so I discount most of them. Still, it's a little much to discount ALL of the stories out of hand; after all, I know from personal experience that SPIRITS do exist, despite the fact that many of the sightings of them sound totally fake, and I'm not thrilled when people react as if I'm deluded when I talk about it, so it's only fair to give the benefit of the doubt to some of the more credible of those who claim to have seen whatever it was that made them think they were seeing aliens. With that in mind, and since I accept the possibility of advanced alien races, and given that curiosity is generally included with intelligence, I have to accept that there COULD be aliens coming here, and maybe in ships that glow... but I won't BELIEVE it until I see it.
But, just because some glowing things fly around, does that mean that ALIENS are in them, or that they're spaceships or devices of any kind? *I* didn't see anything to suggest that those saucer shapes were ships full of little green men. It's not that I'm arrogant enough to think that Earth is the only planet with life, or with sentient life, in all the vast universe, and I think it not only possible, but even likely, that there ARE beings out there somewhere that are more advanced than we are, perhaps FAR more advanced... but does that mean that they have anything to do with UFO's?
The path I saw the white one follow could have been the result of a blob of energy going from one point to another; I don't know what KIND of energy, or how it got there, but there are so many things we haven't pinned down yet that that's no surprise. Could the energy have been a living thing? A psychic phenomenon? Astral projection? How about a spirit? Sure... and yes, it COULD have been a ship, maybe even with aliens in it-I can't prove it wasn't.
The yellow UFO HAD to have had some sort of intelligence behind it, because of the way it hovered; it's almost eerie how it singled out the biggest thing going on in that area and went over to take a look. What form of intelligence? No way to know... but its existence does NOT mean that there was any intelligence behind the white one-there could certainly be more than one sort of energy thing flying around (although Occam's Razor would point to it being more likely that there was only one, of course).
What about all the people who say they've seen UFO's land, and aliens emerge, often to bring them in for gruesome medical procedures? I'm a little skeptical of all the claims of aliens sticking probes up people's butts; I can't imagine that a race advanced enough to come here would think there was anything important to discover up there, can you? Stories of this type seem more like fantasies about the ickiest things that people can imagine being done to them rather than descriptions of how an advanced race would behave, whether they were studying us or not, so I discount most of them. Still, it's a little much to discount ALL of the stories out of hand; after all, I know from personal experience that SPIRITS do exist, despite the fact that many of the sightings of them sound totally fake, and I'm not thrilled when people react as if I'm deluded when I talk about it, so it's only fair to give the benefit of the doubt to some of the more credible of those who claim to have seen whatever it was that made them think they were seeing aliens. With that in mind, and since I accept the possibility of advanced alien races, and given that curiosity is generally included with intelligence, I have to accept that there COULD be aliens coming here, and maybe in ships that glow... but I won't BELIEVE it until I see it.
Monday, October 11, 2004
Censorship
I'm not an extremist on this issue; I think that censorship is often acceptable, even NECESSARY, especially when it's used to protect our kids from things they shouldn't see. Today, however, I encountered a degree of censorship that merged on the surreal.
We'd rented the DVD for a lovely British movie called "Beautiful Thing"; it's a sweet, raw story about 2 working-class boys who escape from the harsh realities of their lives into each other's arms. My husband and I had seen it in the theater when it was released in America, and I'd seen it a couple of times since on TV, but due to the sexual nature of some of the scenes it hadn't been the entire movie those other times... which is perfectly fine, as there's a limit as to what you can show in programs on channels that accept advertising. I was looking forward to seeing the entire movie again at last... but I was in for a nasty surprise.
The movie, as we saw it today, barely made sense; I've got to wonder if someone who wasn't familiar with the plot could have even followed it. They cut out every scene that had any nudity (I don't mean altered what was shown to not show the bare butts, I mean just cut out the scenes entirely), every scene that had sex, every scene that showed that they'd just HAD sex, every scene that even had a KISS except for one peck early on... in other words, they cut out everything that showed that the relationship was forming, everything that showed the relationship PERIOD. This, in a movie ABOUT this very relationship!!!!!!!
What was left was a bunch of trivial stuff about the other characters, mainly; at one point, we hear that one of the boys has been called names at school, but you can't tell WHY because we haven't seen anything that could lead to his classmates finding out he was gay, or much of anything to show US that he was... a wonderful movie had been reduced to something not worth watching.
I was REALLY aggravated, especially since there'd been nothing to indicate to us that this was a PG-rated version of the movie; I was taking a dim view of Blockbuster at that point. I decided to check the Internet Movie Database to see how long the original movie had been, and thus how much was missing; to my amazement, they showed the same length for the movie as the version I had. Blockbuster was exonerated, and I next figured this must be an American version of the movie, dictated by our homophobia as a nation, and I went to the Amazon UK site to see how long the movie was supposed to be... and THEY had the same running time, too.
I started feeling that "am I crazy, or what?" thing in my head, and I asked my husband if he remembered the scenes I did; he didn't, really, but he HAD recognized that the movie didn't make sense, when that hadn't been the case originally, and of course that there'd been some love scenes before whereas now there were none. It turned out that he had the probable explanation for this; the British have apparently gone to wild extremes to protect kids from pedophiles, to the point that parents are no longer allowed to film their kids' sporting events or plays, etc, because such films might "fall into the wrong hands," and therefore it was highly likely that scenes in a movie showing boys who could be presumed to be underage, nude and in sexual situations, would get chopped up to serve the same purpose.
It's not that I don't see their point, but we're not talking little kids here, we're talking boys that could easily be 18, and normal teenaged activity rather than adults seducing teens... and it just offends me right down to my bones when someone's artistic work, whether it be a book, painting or movie, is wrecked to serve whatever the cultural whims are at that time. I hope there are original copies of the movie still locked safely away somewhere, so that when the laws change it can be re-released in its original form, and the beautiful story can be seen again as it was meant to be.
We'd rented the DVD for a lovely British movie called "Beautiful Thing"; it's a sweet, raw story about 2 working-class boys who escape from the harsh realities of their lives into each other's arms. My husband and I had seen it in the theater when it was released in America, and I'd seen it a couple of times since on TV, but due to the sexual nature of some of the scenes it hadn't been the entire movie those other times... which is perfectly fine, as there's a limit as to what you can show in programs on channels that accept advertising. I was looking forward to seeing the entire movie again at last... but I was in for a nasty surprise.
The movie, as we saw it today, barely made sense; I've got to wonder if someone who wasn't familiar with the plot could have even followed it. They cut out every scene that had any nudity (I don't mean altered what was shown to not show the bare butts, I mean just cut out the scenes entirely), every scene that had sex, every scene that showed that they'd just HAD sex, every scene that even had a KISS except for one peck early on... in other words, they cut out everything that showed that the relationship was forming, everything that showed the relationship PERIOD. This, in a movie ABOUT this very relationship!!!!!!!
What was left was a bunch of trivial stuff about the other characters, mainly; at one point, we hear that one of the boys has been called names at school, but you can't tell WHY because we haven't seen anything that could lead to his classmates finding out he was gay, or much of anything to show US that he was... a wonderful movie had been reduced to something not worth watching.
I was REALLY aggravated, especially since there'd been nothing to indicate to us that this was a PG-rated version of the movie; I was taking a dim view of Blockbuster at that point. I decided to check the Internet Movie Database to see how long the original movie had been, and thus how much was missing; to my amazement, they showed the same length for the movie as the version I had. Blockbuster was exonerated, and I next figured this must be an American version of the movie, dictated by our homophobia as a nation, and I went to the Amazon UK site to see how long the movie was supposed to be... and THEY had the same running time, too.
I started feeling that "am I crazy, or what?" thing in my head, and I asked my husband if he remembered the scenes I did; he didn't, really, but he HAD recognized that the movie didn't make sense, when that hadn't been the case originally, and of course that there'd been some love scenes before whereas now there were none. It turned out that he had the probable explanation for this; the British have apparently gone to wild extremes to protect kids from pedophiles, to the point that parents are no longer allowed to film their kids' sporting events or plays, etc, because such films might "fall into the wrong hands," and therefore it was highly likely that scenes in a movie showing boys who could be presumed to be underage, nude and in sexual situations, would get chopped up to serve the same purpose.
It's not that I don't see their point, but we're not talking little kids here, we're talking boys that could easily be 18, and normal teenaged activity rather than adults seducing teens... and it just offends me right down to my bones when someone's artistic work, whether it be a book, painting or movie, is wrecked to serve whatever the cultural whims are at that time. I hope there are original copies of the movie still locked safely away somewhere, so that when the laws change it can be re-released in its original form, and the beautiful story can be seen again as it was meant to be.
Sunday, October 10, 2004
What would you sacrifice to do what's right?
We all like to think of ourselves as noble sorts, always ready to jump in and right wrongs; the reality is that most people don't even have the courage to speak up when they see someone behaving badly, much less make a REAL sacrifice to combat wrongdoing.
Could YOU be an exception? Let's see... how many times have you been present when someone was being gossiped about, or flat-out badmouthed, and said nothing, even though the most you risked was the disapproval of a jerk? How many times have you seen a loved one, friend or even just an acquaintance doing something you knew was wrong, but didn't say anything because you didn't want to "rock the boat" for something "trivial," although all you risked was a few minutes of embarrassed anger? If you didn't say "zero" to both of those questions, what are the chances you'd risk DEATH to do the right thing?
We've become increasingly unwilling to "risk" anyone's ire or retribution; some folks won't even report being robbed, raped or beaten up for fear that the perpetrator will track them down and do them further harm, so it's no surprise that people are unwilling to speak up when they see wrongdoing... we always imagine that whoever we speak out to or "tell on" will "get us."
How many of us, then, would risk making the ultimate sacrifice? If you witnessed a crime committed by a member of the Mafia, or by a major druglord, and you knew that they'd be exerting all their power to kill anyone who agreed to testify before they could get on the witness stand... would you agree to testify? If, furthermore, as often happens in these cases, you'd have to enter the witness protection program, give up your family, friends, career, and everything you'd built in your life, and STILL be at permanent risk of being killed for testifying... would you do it?
I'm that rare person who'll step in and defend total strangers if they're being picked on, and get in people's faces if they're doing something wrong, even if they're friends; if someone can't do me actual harm, I don't sweat it, and I'm at a loss as to why anyone DOES. When it comes to risking being killed, though, and/or giving up everything I have, to do the right thing... I just don't think I could do it. I'm in AWE of people who can. If you think you could do it, my hat's off to you.
Could YOU be an exception? Let's see... how many times have you been present when someone was being gossiped about, or flat-out badmouthed, and said nothing, even though the most you risked was the disapproval of a jerk? How many times have you seen a loved one, friend or even just an acquaintance doing something you knew was wrong, but didn't say anything because you didn't want to "rock the boat" for something "trivial," although all you risked was a few minutes of embarrassed anger? If you didn't say "zero" to both of those questions, what are the chances you'd risk DEATH to do the right thing?
We've become increasingly unwilling to "risk" anyone's ire or retribution; some folks won't even report being robbed, raped or beaten up for fear that the perpetrator will track them down and do them further harm, so it's no surprise that people are unwilling to speak up when they see wrongdoing... we always imagine that whoever we speak out to or "tell on" will "get us."
How many of us, then, would risk making the ultimate sacrifice? If you witnessed a crime committed by a member of the Mafia, or by a major druglord, and you knew that they'd be exerting all their power to kill anyone who agreed to testify before they could get on the witness stand... would you agree to testify? If, furthermore, as often happens in these cases, you'd have to enter the witness protection program, give up your family, friends, career, and everything you'd built in your life, and STILL be at permanent risk of being killed for testifying... would you do it?
I'm that rare person who'll step in and defend total strangers if they're being picked on, and get in people's faces if they're doing something wrong, even if they're friends; if someone can't do me actual harm, I don't sweat it, and I'm at a loss as to why anyone DOES. When it comes to risking being killed, though, and/or giving up everything I have, to do the right thing... I just don't think I could do it. I'm in AWE of people who can. If you think you could do it, my hat's off to you.
