Saturday, July 03, 2004
Props for Bill Cosby
While many American blacks, especially those in the public eye, take the stance that the white race, and long-ago slavery, are to blame for all the ills of their community, Bill Cosby says what needs to be said, pointing out, even in the face of criticism, that many blacks in America have wasted their chances and made foolish choices, and that THIS has led to their poverty and lack of success:
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/07/01/cosby.comments.ap/index.html
The best chance blacks have of achieving economic and social equality is to listen to these sorts of messages; you don't get anywhere in life by pointing the finger at everyone but yourself and making excuses, not even if you DO have valid grievances... you can't whine and complain your way to success, you can't demand endless handouts and special deals as a path to success, you have to focus all your energy on getting educated, getting a career launched and working hard, no matter WHAT your color is. Yes, it probably WILL be harder to succeed if you're non-white, or female, or gay, but your choices are to work harder or never succeed; EVERYONE, not just blacks, needs to stop seeing screaming about prejudice as a substitute for working for what you want in life.
But, don't we need to do something about prejudice? As Oprah Winfrey (who rose above being born the illegitimate child of an impoverished teenaged mother, in addition to being black and female, to become one of the most famous people in the world, with more $ than she can ever spend) has always pointed out, the way to counteract prejudice is with EXCELLENCE.
Bill Cosby helped the black community immeasurably by creating a popular TV show that portrayed blacks as intelligent, articulate, successful professionals; now, he's helping on a whole new level by telling some necessary truths... and I can't tell you how much respect I have for him, for taking this on instead of quietly enjoying his later years.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/07/01/cosby.comments.ap/index.html
The best chance blacks have of achieving economic and social equality is to listen to these sorts of messages; you don't get anywhere in life by pointing the finger at everyone but yourself and making excuses, not even if you DO have valid grievances... you can't whine and complain your way to success, you can't demand endless handouts and special deals as a path to success, you have to focus all your energy on getting educated, getting a career launched and working hard, no matter WHAT your color is. Yes, it probably WILL be harder to succeed if you're non-white, or female, or gay, but your choices are to work harder or never succeed; EVERYONE, not just blacks, needs to stop seeing screaming about prejudice as a substitute for working for what you want in life.
But, don't we need to do something about prejudice? As Oprah Winfrey (who rose above being born the illegitimate child of an impoverished teenaged mother, in addition to being black and female, to become one of the most famous people in the world, with more $ than she can ever spend) has always pointed out, the way to counteract prejudice is with EXCELLENCE.
Bill Cosby helped the black community immeasurably by creating a popular TV show that portrayed blacks as intelligent, articulate, successful professionals; now, he's helping on a whole new level by telling some necessary truths... and I can't tell you how much respect I have for him, for taking this on instead of quietly enjoying his later years.
Friday, July 02, 2004
Getting older can REALLY suck
Most aspects of aging are GOOD: the accumulation of knowledge, the development of wisdom, the steady stream of experiences had and new people met, and the growth of spiritual depth and understanding. The aging of the body, though, is of course uniformly dismaying; fortunately, I've been lucky, and, although I'm pushing middle age, I have no gray hair, a nearly unlined face, and have kept in decent shape, so I can pass for about a decade younger... and, more importantly, aside from comparatively minor things like some back pain and increased food sensitivities, my health is still perfect. There's ONE way that my biology is sticking it to me big time, though; my metabolism.
I've never been a big eater, and for the past 15 years or so my food intake has been VERY controlled to keep me trim; I've also done a steadily increasing amount of exercise throughout that time. Despite that, my metabolism has played some dirty tricks on me, and it does so in a weird way; I don't gradually gain weight, I get a sudden "growth spurt" in my hips that will literally put an inch on them within a couple of months (it's even happened when I've gained NO weight, go figure). My jeans will suddenly feel tight, and I'll get out the tape measure (I don't weigh myself, as I'm recovering eating disordered, and get absolutely psycho over those #'s), and look at the results with disbelief.... oh no, not AGAIN!!
I'll cut my food intake even more, although I already eat so little that you plain wouldn't believe it, and increase my exercising... and curse my mother's super-slow metabolism, that she has passed onto me undiluted by my father's more normal one. I'll try to imagine what I'll have to live on in 10 years, and 20, and 30, to keep from being obese... and hope fervently that they find some medical way to boost metabolism before then.
I wouldn't give up all that I've gained mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to have a younger body again, but it still bums me out that I can only eat a fraction of what other people eat, a fraction of what I myself ate as little as 5 years ago, to keep from getting too big. Perhaps my karmic path requires me to live on the sort of paltry rations attributed to Ghandi, Buddha and many other spiritual greats, in order for me to attain higher levels of spirituality? On the one hand, I sure hope not... but, on the other hand, it might not be so bad to have to eat less and less if I WERE gaining something to compensate me for the loss of my ability to eat remotely normal amounts of food. Hmmmmmmmmmmm....
I've never been a big eater, and for the past 15 years or so my food intake has been VERY controlled to keep me trim; I've also done a steadily increasing amount of exercise throughout that time. Despite that, my metabolism has played some dirty tricks on me, and it does so in a weird way; I don't gradually gain weight, I get a sudden "growth spurt" in my hips that will literally put an inch on them within a couple of months (it's even happened when I've gained NO weight, go figure). My jeans will suddenly feel tight, and I'll get out the tape measure (I don't weigh myself, as I'm recovering eating disordered, and get absolutely psycho over those #'s), and look at the results with disbelief.... oh no, not AGAIN!!
I'll cut my food intake even more, although I already eat so little that you plain wouldn't believe it, and increase my exercising... and curse my mother's super-slow metabolism, that she has passed onto me undiluted by my father's more normal one. I'll try to imagine what I'll have to live on in 10 years, and 20, and 30, to keep from being obese... and hope fervently that they find some medical way to boost metabolism before then.
I wouldn't give up all that I've gained mentally, emotionally, and spiritually to have a younger body again, but it still bums me out that I can only eat a fraction of what other people eat, a fraction of what I myself ate as little as 5 years ago, to keep from getting too big. Perhaps my karmic path requires me to live on the sort of paltry rations attributed to Ghandi, Buddha and many other spiritual greats, in order for me to attain higher levels of spirituality? On the one hand, I sure hope not... but, on the other hand, it might not be so bad to have to eat less and less if I WERE gaining something to compensate me for the loss of my ability to eat remotely normal amounts of food. Hmmmmmmmmmmm....
Thursday, July 01, 2004
"Cell Dogs"
There are so many goofy shows on TV these days that I almost never bother with any current series, but Animal Planet is one of the stations I'll flip on to be filler when I sit down to eat and nothing is getting started at that time, and I ended up seeing most of an episode of "Cell Dogs"... and it turns out to be a truly worthwhile program.
The premise is that dogs are rescued from the pound and taken to prisons, where chosen inmates train them to be service dogs for the disabled. It's a winning situation all around: The dogs get to LIVE, and to go to loving homes-even the ones that can't cut it in training get adopted out, NEVER put down. People who might not otherwise get service dogs can have them, with all the freedom and independence that goes with it. The prisons benefit, because the inmates/trainers have to behave themselves to gain the privilege of having a dog live with them. The trainers benefit enormously from having a loving animal in their lives, something to care for, a goal to work for, and the ability, often for the first time in their lives, to do something of value, that they can be proud of... and some of them have been so deeply affected by the experience that they've gone to work at animal hospitals upon their release.
The biggest benefit of these programs is to society; every criminal that has a change of heart makes all of us safer, and this evidence that it IS possible for even hard-core criminals to be, not just warehoused in prisons, but actually reformed, at least some of the time, should stimulate the penal system to come up with other ways to bring about attitude adjustments. With a little luck, this can lead to the fantasy of criminals becoming worthwhile members of society a reality... at least some of the time.
The premise is that dogs are rescued from the pound and taken to prisons, where chosen inmates train them to be service dogs for the disabled. It's a winning situation all around: The dogs get to LIVE, and to go to loving homes-even the ones that can't cut it in training get adopted out, NEVER put down. People who might not otherwise get service dogs can have them, with all the freedom and independence that goes with it. The prisons benefit, because the inmates/trainers have to behave themselves to gain the privilege of having a dog live with them. The trainers benefit enormously from having a loving animal in their lives, something to care for, a goal to work for, and the ability, often for the first time in their lives, to do something of value, that they can be proud of... and some of them have been so deeply affected by the experience that they've gone to work at animal hospitals upon their release.
The biggest benefit of these programs is to society; every criminal that has a change of heart makes all of us safer, and this evidence that it IS possible for even hard-core criminals to be, not just warehoused in prisons, but actually reformed, at least some of the time, should stimulate the penal system to come up with other ways to bring about attitude adjustments. With a little luck, this can lead to the fantasy of criminals becoming worthwhile members of society a reality... at least some of the time.
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
The creepy-crawler debate
Some people think that when a spider, insect or other pest comes into someone's house, the only proper response is to chase it down, carefully scoop it onto something, take it outside, and gently release it... so that it can run right back into the house before the door closes.
MY view on it is as follows: any creature that enters my home without an invitation has earned the death penalty. When people start prattling about them being "innocent living things," they get the following earful: it's not an endangered species, it's not the only available food for any animal, it's not being studied for its possible medicinal properties, its existence isn't critical to the ecosystem, it's never going to enrich anyone's life... but it WILL do its best to get into my food, hide in my shower or bed, lay its eggs under my counter, and find a way to jump on me and bite me... and yes, I've been subjected to ALL of these things. Given the choice between killing worthless vermin and allowing them free reign to terrorize me, it's not even close.
Aw, come on, you don't think I REALLY kill things, do you? NO!! I yell for my husband, and HE does it, lol.
MY view on it is as follows: any creature that enters my home without an invitation has earned the death penalty. When people start prattling about them being "innocent living things," they get the following earful: it's not an endangered species, it's not the only available food for any animal, it's not being studied for its possible medicinal properties, its existence isn't critical to the ecosystem, it's never going to enrich anyone's life... but it WILL do its best to get into my food, hide in my shower or bed, lay its eggs under my counter, and find a way to jump on me and bite me... and yes, I've been subjected to ALL of these things. Given the choice between killing worthless vermin and allowing them free reign to terrorize me, it's not even close.
Aw, come on, you don't think I REALLY kill things, do you? NO!! I yell for my husband, and HE does it, lol.
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Major karma
A few weeks ago, I posted about a psychotic bitch who'd rampaged over a forum for ages, until finally getting booted for behavior so atrocious that the administrative morons who had inexplicably supported her in her endless belligerence HAD to get rid of her; the day that happened was a good one, but today was BETTER.
As some friends on that forum and I had confidently told each other she would, she came back on with a new name, and lost no time in behaving in the old familiar way; the combination of that distinctively bad behavior, and her distinctively bad grammar, led to people rapidly figuring out who she was, although she vehemently denied it. She took things to an all new height, or should I say DEPTH, by posting a series of deeply offensive "jokes" whose targets were the admin staff; in one of the most pitiful things I've ever seen online, one of the admins posted that she didn't believe it could possibly be her old friend doing this, but enough people had said otherwise that she checked the IP logs, and the truth was inescapable-the new and old disrupters had the exact same IP address. (Why, why, WHY do otherwise intelligent people NEVER grasp that someone who behaves in an ugly way to others will ALWAYS do it to THEM eventually? Why do they deny all evidence against the wrongdoer until they have an embarrassing amount of proof, rather than putting 2 and 2 together and getting 4 right away?) She further posted about how upset she was that someone she'd been so good to, and cared so much for, had stooped to being so ugly.
I do NOT approve of comments under ANY circumstances that attack someone based on race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, ethnic background, etc, but in this instance comments of that nature were karma in action... because those who were deeply hurt and offended were the same people who had repeatedly supported the psycho as she attacked everyone else in sight, when what they SHOULD have done was applied the same rules to her that everyone else was held to, and kicked her out after her FIRST bout of nastiness. Those of us who the psycho was permitted to attack without penalty have now been revenged by the actions of that self-same psycho against the enablers.
In addition, those who had remained neutral the LAST time the psycho kicked up a fuss, or even professed to still being willing to have her around, jumped on her full force, magnified in some cases by their understanding that they'd been made fools of for failing to condemn her before, and ripped her to SHREDS.
Karma is VERY efficient. :-)
As some friends on that forum and I had confidently told each other she would, she came back on with a new name, and lost no time in behaving in the old familiar way; the combination of that distinctively bad behavior, and her distinctively bad grammar, led to people rapidly figuring out who she was, although she vehemently denied it. She took things to an all new height, or should I say DEPTH, by posting a series of deeply offensive "jokes" whose targets were the admin staff; in one of the most pitiful things I've ever seen online, one of the admins posted that she didn't believe it could possibly be her old friend doing this, but enough people had said otherwise that she checked the IP logs, and the truth was inescapable-the new and old disrupters had the exact same IP address. (Why, why, WHY do otherwise intelligent people NEVER grasp that someone who behaves in an ugly way to others will ALWAYS do it to THEM eventually? Why do they deny all evidence against the wrongdoer until they have an embarrassing amount of proof, rather than putting 2 and 2 together and getting 4 right away?) She further posted about how upset she was that someone she'd been so good to, and cared so much for, had stooped to being so ugly.
I do NOT approve of comments under ANY circumstances that attack someone based on race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, ethnic background, etc, but in this instance comments of that nature were karma in action... because those who were deeply hurt and offended were the same people who had repeatedly supported the psycho as she attacked everyone else in sight, when what they SHOULD have done was applied the same rules to her that everyone else was held to, and kicked her out after her FIRST bout of nastiness. Those of us who the psycho was permitted to attack without penalty have now been revenged by the actions of that self-same psycho against the enablers.
In addition, those who had remained neutral the LAST time the psycho kicked up a fuss, or even professed to still being willing to have her around, jumped on her full force, magnified in some cases by their understanding that they'd been made fools of for failing to condemn her before, and ripped her to SHREDS.
Karma is VERY efficient. :-)
Monday, June 28, 2004
Odds and Ends
Late last night, I talked about a friend that I hadn't spoken to in a while, and, when I woke up today, guess who I had a message on my machine from? Coincidence? Not a chance.
I saw a discussion on a message board about whether or not it would be good to live forever, and, over and over, people said something like "I'm so lonely now, I couldn't bear to feel like this forever." I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or throw up. If YOU would have answered that way, here's a hint; get off the frigging computer and go make some friends... and don't waste one minute posting online until you have a big enough group of friends that you're only alone when you want to be.
My husband read what I wrote a couple of days ago about how little boys are taught cutesie nicknames for their penises, and, as part of our discussion about it, I casually asked him what HE had been taught to call HIS as a kid; the answer was, brace yourselves, "tinkler." At some point during the 10 minutes I spent howling with laughter, he grasped that he was going to spend the rest of his life regretting having told me. ;-)
I saw a discussion on a message board about whether or not it would be good to live forever, and, over and over, people said something like "I'm so lonely now, I couldn't bear to feel like this forever." I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or throw up. If YOU would have answered that way, here's a hint; get off the frigging computer and go make some friends... and don't waste one minute posting online until you have a big enough group of friends that you're only alone when you want to be.
My husband read what I wrote a couple of days ago about how little boys are taught cutesie nicknames for their penises, and, as part of our discussion about it, I casually asked him what HE had been taught to call HIS as a kid; the answer was, brace yourselves, "tinkler." At some point during the 10 minutes I spent howling with laughter, he grasped that he was going to spend the rest of his life regretting having told me. ;-)
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Can men share the pain of childbirth?
My husband brought home the July-August 2004 issue of an odd magazine called "mental_floss," and I learned a few things on page 41:
There's an actual name for the concept that a man should share in the pain of his wife's birthing experience; it's called "couvade," and the sympathy pains that some men have in their abdomens while their wives are in labor are one of the symptoms of " Couvade Syndrome" (aka "sympathetic pregnancy," which in general refers to ALL the pregnancy-like symptoms that a man might experience). Some cultures expect a much greater equality of suffering, however:
In certain parts of Brazil, it's traditional for expectant fathers to bleed themselves while their wives are in labor.
In French Guiana, the father feels his wife's pain somewhat belatedly; he's kept in bed, in seclusion, for about 6 weeks after his wife gives birth, after which time family members cut openings in his skin and rub his body with a ground pepper plant.
The Huichol Indian tribe of Mexico had by far the best method of making sure that men shared the pain of childbirth; a woman in labor would be laying down in a hut, and her husband would sit in the rafters above her with a rope tied around his testicles... and, when the woman had a contraction, she'd pull on the rope. If you do a search for "Huichol" on the website of the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco, you'll find this artwork
http://search.famsf.org:8080/view.shtml?keywords=%68%75%69%63%68%6F%6C&artist=&country=&period=&sort=&start=21&position=21&record=129656
depicting the process. If you know any expectant mothers that you'd like to amuse, or expectant fathers that you'd like to freak out, you can send them that image as an e-postcard here:
http://members.virtualtourist.com/vt/ps/1e7c07/0/
Last but not least, you can see a little video about the process (it does NOT actually show it, sadly) here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tVE031bABE
Haven't I always said that there's a great deal of wisdom in the so-called "primitive" tribes? ;-)
There's an actual name for the concept that a man should share in the pain of his wife's birthing experience; it's called "couvade," and the sympathy pains that some men have in their abdomens while their wives are in labor are one of the symptoms of " Couvade Syndrome" (aka "sympathetic pregnancy," which in general refers to ALL the pregnancy-like symptoms that a man might experience). Some cultures expect a much greater equality of suffering, however:
In certain parts of Brazil, it's traditional for expectant fathers to bleed themselves while their wives are in labor.
In French Guiana, the father feels his wife's pain somewhat belatedly; he's kept in bed, in seclusion, for about 6 weeks after his wife gives birth, after which time family members cut openings in his skin and rub his body with a ground pepper plant.
The Huichol Indian tribe of Mexico had by far the best method of making sure that men shared the pain of childbirth; a woman in labor would be laying down in a hut, and her husband would sit in the rafters above her with a rope tied around his testicles... and, when the woman had a contraction, she'd pull on the rope. If you do a search for "Huichol" on the website of the Fine Arts Museums of San Francisco, you'll find this artwork
http://search.famsf.org:8080/view.shtml?keywords=%68%75%69%63%68%6F%6C&artist=&country=&period=&sort=&start=21&position=21&record=129656
depicting the process. If you know any expectant mothers that you'd like to amuse, or expectant fathers that you'd like to freak out, you can send them that image as an e-postcard here:
http://members.virtualtourist.com/vt/ps/1e7c07/0/
Last but not least, you can see a little video about the process (it does NOT actually show it, sadly) here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tVE031bABE
Haven't I always said that there's a great deal of wisdom in the so-called "primitive" tribes? ;-)
