Thursday, April 12, 2007
The Beware List, Part 8
The Beware List represents my lifetime experience of how people behave if they're evil, sociopathic, manipulators or major depressives, especially when they're about to screw you; folks like these follow very consistent patterns, so if you pay attention, and don't discount the warnings out of misguided loyalty, you can stop them cold. This post contains the latest installment of the list; to read entries 1-70, see my posts of 5-31-06, 7-6-06, 8-31-06, 10-6-06, 11-19-06, 1-10-07 and 2-27-07. Beware of anyone who:
71) Has no problems with someone being attacked, but cries “foul” if the victim fights back, especially if they outfight the attacker.
This is a sure sign of someone who doesn’t hesitate to attack and feels entitled to get away with it; only chronic evildoers think that evil behavior is ok, and only the scariest sociopathic ones object to victims fighting in their own defense.
72) Expresses intolerance and an ugly attitude towards any group of people for whom they don't have proof of MAJOR wrongdoing, and/or fails to see such an attitude in others as a reason to not associate with them.
Anyone who'd have such dislike of a group of people based on nothing, whether it takes the form of bigotry or just contempt of those who post on a "rival forum," will just as easily dislike, and abuse, YOU based on nothing, and in general is either evil, a psycho, or too stupid to be involved with.
73) Thinks that, no matter how monstrously someone behaves, all they have to do is say “sorry” and they should be totally forgiven, and thus that the victim can NEVER reproach them, demand reparations, or even express their anger/hurt.
Only the most chillingly evil and sociopathic types believe that their victims should be denied the basic human right to express pain and confront the ones who caused it. With the hypocrisy that's typical of wrongdoers, they'll react to any wrongdoing (real or imagined) done TO them with vicious counterattacks or crazed melodrama, AND will totally ignore any apologies given to them, however heartfelt.
74) Believes that there’s a statute of limitations to their bad behavior, such that, if a certain # of days (weeks, etc) have passed, a misdeed is magically erased even if nothing has been done yet to “settle” it.
This is a sure sign of a frequent wrongdoer; this person can screw you over repeatedly and if the last time wasn't in the recent past they expect you to treat them as if they've never done you wrong... and will see YOU as bad if you have a more sane view of things.
75) Thinks that being their friend means that you always have to do whatever makes them happy, and so considers anything you do that makes them UNhappy a “betrayal” and just cause for outrage (although they of course exert no effort to keep YOU happy).
This person has no clue that adult relationships are NOT supposed to be the same as when their mommy circled everything around them while expecting nothing in return, and may also be a manipulator, albeit a clumsy one; you'll NEVER be able to please them long-term unless you're an absolute doormat... and why would you want to?
76) Tells you they believe that friendship means you give unconditional love.
GOOD people assume that treating their friends (lovers, etc ) well, and behaving decently in general, will always be a condition of being loved; only evil people need to be loved unconditionally... even though they don't GIVE unconditional love in return. In addition, it's usually a red flag when someone feels the need to announce how friendship should be; it means that they're NOT following the standard rules like you are... and will make you pay for it eventually.
77) Uses “depression” or “going through a bad time” as an excuse to be overly-demanding, show no caring about you or your life, or otherwise treat you badly.
It's perfectly acceptable for someone who just suffered a major loss to focus on themselves and their pain such that they don't bother to consider other people's feelings, but when someone behaves protractedly in this manner, and isn't losing a loved one every month to justify it, they're a master manipulator trying to persuade you to let them walk all over you.
78) Has no consistent definition of what's “good” or “bad” in a relationship, but expects you to know how they’re seeing things at any given moment and act accordingly.
This person is either a clueless depressive who confuses friends with their mommy or a manipulator determined to keep you guessing and trying desperately to please them.
79) Can’t handle being disagreed with, even if you have more info on the topic than they do, and so starts a fight and/or goes stalking off if you hold firm in your assertions or opinions.
Manipulators love this tactic, but it can also indicate that someone is a depressive, overly aggressive, or seriously immature; not a good bet in any case.
80) Does the “fire and ice” routine EVEN ONCE (this is when they give super-intense attention and then back way off for no reason).
This can indicate a psycho or extreme flake, but 99% of the time it's used by manipulators to take control of the relationship by making you chase after them.
I hope these warning signs will help you prevent people from sticking it to you; remember, they can only get you if you LET them.
71) Has no problems with someone being attacked, but cries “foul” if the victim fights back, especially if they outfight the attacker.
This is a sure sign of someone who doesn’t hesitate to attack and feels entitled to get away with it; only chronic evildoers think that evil behavior is ok, and only the scariest sociopathic ones object to victims fighting in their own defense.
72) Expresses intolerance and an ugly attitude towards any group of people for whom they don't have proof of MAJOR wrongdoing, and/or fails to see such an attitude in others as a reason to not associate with them.
Anyone who'd have such dislike of a group of people based on nothing, whether it takes the form of bigotry or just contempt of those who post on a "rival forum," will just as easily dislike, and abuse, YOU based on nothing, and in general is either evil, a psycho, or too stupid to be involved with.
73) Thinks that, no matter how monstrously someone behaves, all they have to do is say “sorry” and they should be totally forgiven, and thus that the victim can NEVER reproach them, demand reparations, or even express their anger/hurt.
Only the most chillingly evil and sociopathic types believe that their victims should be denied the basic human right to express pain and confront the ones who caused it. With the hypocrisy that's typical of wrongdoers, they'll react to any wrongdoing (real or imagined) done TO them with vicious counterattacks or crazed melodrama, AND will totally ignore any apologies given to them, however heartfelt.
74) Believes that there’s a statute of limitations to their bad behavior, such that, if a certain # of days (weeks, etc) have passed, a misdeed is magically erased even if nothing has been done yet to “settle” it.
This is a sure sign of a frequent wrongdoer; this person can screw you over repeatedly and if the last time wasn't in the recent past they expect you to treat them as if they've never done you wrong... and will see YOU as bad if you have a more sane view of things.
75) Thinks that being their friend means that you always have to do whatever makes them happy, and so considers anything you do that makes them UNhappy a “betrayal” and just cause for outrage (although they of course exert no effort to keep YOU happy).
This person has no clue that adult relationships are NOT supposed to be the same as when their mommy circled everything around them while expecting nothing in return, and may also be a manipulator, albeit a clumsy one; you'll NEVER be able to please them long-term unless you're an absolute doormat... and why would you want to?
76) Tells you they believe that friendship means you give unconditional love.
GOOD people assume that treating their friends (lovers, etc ) well, and behaving decently in general, will always be a condition of being loved; only evil people need to be loved unconditionally... even though they don't GIVE unconditional love in return. In addition, it's usually a red flag when someone feels the need to announce how friendship should be; it means that they're NOT following the standard rules like you are... and will make you pay for it eventually.
77) Uses “depression” or “going through a bad time” as an excuse to be overly-demanding, show no caring about you or your life, or otherwise treat you badly.
It's perfectly acceptable for someone who just suffered a major loss to focus on themselves and their pain such that they don't bother to consider other people's feelings, but when someone behaves protractedly in this manner, and isn't losing a loved one every month to justify it, they're a master manipulator trying to persuade you to let them walk all over you.
78) Has no consistent definition of what's “good” or “bad” in a relationship, but expects you to know how they’re seeing things at any given moment and act accordingly.
This person is either a clueless depressive who confuses friends with their mommy or a manipulator determined to keep you guessing and trying desperately to please them.
79) Can’t handle being disagreed with, even if you have more info on the topic than they do, and so starts a fight and/or goes stalking off if you hold firm in your assertions or opinions.
Manipulators love this tactic, but it can also indicate that someone is a depressive, overly aggressive, or seriously immature; not a good bet in any case.
80) Does the “fire and ice” routine EVEN ONCE (this is when they give super-intense attention and then back way off for no reason).
This can indicate a psycho or extreme flake, but 99% of the time it's used by manipulators to take control of the relationship by making you chase after them.
I hope these warning signs will help you prevent people from sticking it to you; remember, they can only get you if you LET them.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
The most delicious chips EVER... and the sweetest otters
I had a really good coupon for the new Pringles Select chips, which are gourmet-style snacks in a bag rather than the can-o-chips Pringles is associated with; 3 of the 4 available flavors (Parmesan Garlic, Sun Dried Tomato and Cinnamon Sweet Potato) didn't have a chance of tasting good to me, but, as a lover of Chinese food, including moderately hot stuff (and how hot could a mainstream chip be, after all?), I figured that the Szechuan Barbecue flavor had a good chance of being enjoyable. I got them, tried them, and...
YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They're so good that I, with my will of steel where food consumption is concerned, could barely stop eating them. So good that my husband, after just ONE chip, warned me that I needed to hide the bag, half-joked that he'd be buying more bags that I'd never see, and asked if we could have a MEAL built around them (which we will-we'll have hamburger patties to provide protein and then polish off a bag of these chips with them).
They have a wonderfully complex flavor, with a combination of different "categories" of flavors as is common in Asian foods; salty, savory, tangy (from the soy sauce) and spicy... and the potato/rice combo from which they're made makes them very crunchy and satisfying. These are surprisingly sophisticated, "adult" chips... which most likely means that they won't be around long, because kids probably won't like them, and Americans are used to blander snacks and view anything really different with suspicion. Go grab a bag while you can, and, if you love 'em like we do, stock up before they're replaced with the 10 millionth version of cheese or ranch flavor.
If you haven't seen it yet, the cutest video ever posted on YouTube can be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epUk3T2Kfno&e
It's called "Otters holding hands," and features 2 of the adorable critters floating around in their exhibit at the Vancouver Aquarium with their paws clasped; when they drift apart at one point and then come back together, the bigger one REACHES OUT to recapture the paw of the smaller one... I was literally shrieking with delight the 1st time I saw it. While it was easy to anthropomorphize this as romantic, especially with one otter being so much bigger than the other that they were presumably a male and a female, I suspected that there was a natural behavior involved, and so contacted the aquarium to get more info. The email I got back said:
"This is a common behavior for otters in the wild. It is called rafting. They do this in the wild to stay together in turbulent water. The sea otters in the YouTube film are Nyac (the lighter one) and Milo. They are not mates that I know of."
I also was told to look for more info here:
http://www.vanaqua.org/education/aquafacts/seaotters.html
where it says:
"Sea otters segregate by sex: groups of females and their pups stay in the centre of the range. Territorial breeding males stay close to the female groups while sub-adult male groups are seen on the outskirts of the range."
and:
"'Milo' is one of the Northern sea otters at the Aquarium. He was born in August 1999 and weighs 36.8 kg. His daily diet is 8 kg of fish fillets, crab, squid and clams.
'Nyac' was born in 1989. She weighs 28.2 kg, and eats 6 kg of fish fillets, crab, squid and clams."
So; despite the fact that otters of different genders don't normally hang around together, and that the water in that tank was anything but "turbulent," a male and a female, both old enough to be sexually mature, were "rafting" around protractedly... granted, being in an abnormal environment could cause abnormal behavior, and they apparently haven't mated YET, but it sure LOOKS promising for baby otters to be showing up sometime soon, doesn't it? In any case, they've done more for otter conservation than anything we humans could come up with; no one who sees them could fail to love them and want them kept safe, and according to this clip from the BBC (yes, this has become an international story)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_6530000/newsid_6532000/6532073.stm?bw=nb&mp=wm
well over 1.5 MILLION people watched the video within a 2 week period, so the ottermania will clearly have a real impact. The BBC clip also reveals that Nyac was one of a sadly few otters to survive the Exxon Valdez oil spill; she's a tough little girl as well as fluffy and pretty... let's keep our fingers crossed that Milo's noticed her finer qualities as well.
YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They're so good that I, with my will of steel where food consumption is concerned, could barely stop eating them. So good that my husband, after just ONE chip, warned me that I needed to hide the bag, half-joked that he'd be buying more bags that I'd never see, and asked if we could have a MEAL built around them (which we will-we'll have hamburger patties to provide protein and then polish off a bag of these chips with them).
They have a wonderfully complex flavor, with a combination of different "categories" of flavors as is common in Asian foods; salty, savory, tangy (from the soy sauce) and spicy... and the potato/rice combo from which they're made makes them very crunchy and satisfying. These are surprisingly sophisticated, "adult" chips... which most likely means that they won't be around long, because kids probably won't like them, and Americans are used to blander snacks and view anything really different with suspicion. Go grab a bag while you can, and, if you love 'em like we do, stock up before they're replaced with the 10 millionth version of cheese or ranch flavor.
If you haven't seen it yet, the cutest video ever posted on YouTube can be found here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epUk3T2Kfno&e
It's called "Otters holding hands," and features 2 of the adorable critters floating around in their exhibit at the Vancouver Aquarium with their paws clasped; when they drift apart at one point and then come back together, the bigger one REACHES OUT to recapture the paw of the smaller one... I was literally shrieking with delight the 1st time I saw it. While it was easy to anthropomorphize this as romantic, especially with one otter being so much bigger than the other that they were presumably a male and a female, I suspected that there was a natural behavior involved, and so contacted the aquarium to get more info. The email I got back said:
"This is a common behavior for otters in the wild. It is called rafting. They do this in the wild to stay together in turbulent water. The sea otters in the YouTube film are Nyac (the lighter one) and Milo. They are not mates that I know of."
I also was told to look for more info here:
http://www.vanaqua.org/education/aquafacts/seaotters.html
where it says:
"Sea otters segregate by sex: groups of females and their pups stay in the centre of the range. Territorial breeding males stay close to the female groups while sub-adult male groups are seen on the outskirts of the range."
and:
"'Milo' is one of the Northern sea otters at the Aquarium. He was born in August 1999 and weighs 36.8 kg. His daily diet is 8 kg of fish fillets, crab, squid and clams.
'Nyac' was born in 1989. She weighs 28.2 kg, and eats 6 kg of fish fillets, crab, squid and clams."
So; despite the fact that otters of different genders don't normally hang around together, and that the water in that tank was anything but "turbulent," a male and a female, both old enough to be sexually mature, were "rafting" around protractedly... granted, being in an abnormal environment could cause abnormal behavior, and they apparently haven't mated YET, but it sure LOOKS promising for baby otters to be showing up sometime soon, doesn't it? In any case, they've done more for otter conservation than anything we humans could come up with; no one who sees them could fail to love them and want them kept safe, and according to this clip from the BBC (yes, this has become an international story)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/player/nol/newsid_6530000/newsid_6532000/6532073.stm?bw=nb&mp=wm
well over 1.5 MILLION people watched the video within a 2 week period, so the ottermania will clearly have a real impact. The BBC clip also reveals that Nyac was one of a sadly few otters to survive the Exxon Valdez oil spill; she's a tough little girl as well as fluffy and pretty... let's keep our fingers crossed that Milo's noticed her finer qualities as well.
