Wednesday, September 20, 2006
God was in the shower
I know that title sounds sorta freaky, but it's an actual description of part of a dream I had; if you're Christian, and sensitive about what kinds of references are made to your deity, you might want to skip this post... I mean no disrespect to any religion or religious figure, but I'm unwilling to censor the portrayal of what must be my weirdest religion-related dream ever.
For the benefit of new readers, let me point out that I'm agnostic; I've seen neither proof that God exists nor proof that He DOESN'T... but since so many believe in Him, including some of the people I love and respect the most, I give Him the benefit of the doubt, and include Christianity in my spiritual studies. Presumably as a result of this, I periodically have a dream in which either Jesus or God makes an appearance; it's almost always the former, so when the Big Guy shows up I give it extra thought. Unfortunately, I've forgotten alot of this one, but there's enough left to be intriguing:
I was standing in the back of a lecture hall; I was vaguely aware of people in most of the seats, but the only person I really saw was the one teaching the class... and my 1st thought was, "That's God." He was tall and thin, with an odd, and oddly familiar, spherical mass of chestnut curls, and a beard that clearly hadn't been groomed in a while (he needed to shave the areas of His face that weren't meant to be part of the beard); He was wearing jeans and a flannel shirt that was bright red check or plaid... I'm not sure which, but I'm positive it was just red and black, with none of the yellow or white that are typically part of red plaid.
I don't remember what He was saying, what if anything was written on the board behind Him, or even what subject He might have been teaching; you can imagine how desperately I wish otherwise, since this would've probably been stuff that my subconscious deemed very important to tell me about.
At some point, He spoke to me; the students hadn't left, so I think class was still in session, although it's possible that it had just ended and no one had collected their stuff and gotten up yet... I'm pretty sure He stopped His lecture to address me, but I might just have gotten that idea because of what happened later. Much to my dismay, I can't recollect what He SAID; I DO recollect that I felt no sense of wonder, or fear, or bewilderment at why God would single ME out for special attention, when I wasn't in His class and so technically didn't even belong there.
The next thing I recall was that I was alone with Him... somewhere. There was a bathroom with a shower attached to the room we were in, so it was either His bedroom, a hotel room, or maybe it was His office (if you're God, I'm guessing that a full bathroom wouldn't be too much to expect as part of your office accoutrements); no, I did NOT feel like there was anything sexual in the offing... He's not one of the Greek gods, after all (although if He'd turned into a swan I'd have gotten nervous whether or not He started calling me "Leda"... do they still teach that myth?). He was talking non-stop; about what, I can't remember, sigh. Then, He started taking His clothes off; I politely turned my back, and heard the shower starting to run... I guess God is so busy that He has to have talks with people whenever He can. He came around me to get something (I didn't see what-clean clothes would be my guess), and before I could avert my eyes I got an eyeful; I was startled, and wondered to myself why God would choose a male form with such a small endowment... then again, what has He got to prove?
Then, while He was in the shower, came the only part of what He said that I recall; He was going to make a major alteration to everything in the universe (I don't know what, or why), and He was offering me the opportunity to remain unchanged, and to keep my memory intact, which meant I'd know that a change had been made and what things used to be like... and I'd be the only one who did. I accepted the offer.
The next thing I recollect is that I was in what I somehow knew was a museum gift shop; I was having trouble breathing, which, as I hung onto a nearby shelf and tried to get more air into my lungs, I attributed to my body not being used to the new version of reality yet... although it was probably actually a reflection of my still being congested and being too deeply asleep to switch to mouth-breathing right away when my sinuses started closing up. There were several people with me that I couldn't quite see, but 2 of whose voices I recognized, my husband and my most deeply religious friend; I told them I just needed to catch my breath, while wishing I could tell them the truth without sounding crazy.
And that's all I remember.
What do I make of all that? God as a teacher is logical enough, especially if you consider Him as also being Jesus as the Catholics do. His being intellectual but unkempt and badly dressed makes him resemble a geek; the friend who's non-coincidentally present at the end of the dream always says that God appears to each nation, each culture, each PERSON in whatever form is easiest for them to accept... and I'M a geek, so how else would He appear to me? His hairstyle was familiar because I just saw a man with exactly that same 'do (and untamed facial hair) on TV... on "Extreme Makeover." (The guy's name was Arik, which, in an interesting twist, means "sacred ruler" or "ruler of all" depending on which site you believe.) I surmise that it's ME that the makeover concept is meant to apply to, rather than it meaning that God needs a shave and a haircut, and that it's a spiritual makeover that's symbolized, not that God thinks I need to wear flannel... and if there IS a God, it's safe to assume that He wants me to alter my belief system to include Him, so no mystery there.
The classroom where I was standing in the aisle but didn't belong; that'd be a symbol Christianity, of course.
The whole bit of being alone with God in what was probably a bedroom, and the nudity/shower thing, gives me the feeling of having been behind the scenes, and the phrase "the naked truth" keeps popping up in my head; yeah, it's trite, but dream symbolism often is. I can't imagine that my subconscious was trying to suggest that God might have been hoping to jump my bones, and after all my years of marriage I'm well beyond being an appropriate vessel for immaculate conception; all I can figure is that the "private stuff" is suggestive of intimacy, which we DID have in the sense that He was sharing a secret with me and was offering me the, er, bare facts about His plans for the universe... but why ME?
My aforementioned religious friend tells me that I'm special to God, in that He has endowed me with the ability to figure out how He's set things up (aka karma, which she sees as having been created by God as a tool to carry out His will), and that He's attempting to guide me via my spiritual quest to the point where I can perceive and embrace Him; because of the free will deal, He can't "force himself on me" to make me believe (does that tie into Him being naked and alone with me in the dream with no hint of sex in the air? hmmmmmmmmmmm), but if I can analyze my way into believing in Him then He'll have won a great victory... yeah, it sounds ridiculous to ME, too, but she's one of those folks who claims to have a close personal relationship with God, and I accept that she's got a grip on SOMETHING powerful after all the years I've observed her, although there's no evidence that it's a deity rather than an instinctive ability to manipulate the forces of karma... Anyways, she and my other Christian friends assure me that these "religious" dreams, which most BELIEVERS don't even have much less "heathens," are indicative of either God trying to persuade me or my subconscious mind signaling me about the truth that I know deep down; naturally, I resist these ideas, but have no logical explanation for why I periodically dream about a deity I don't believe in and generally don't give much thought to.
What's the change God was going to make to the universe? What kind of change could possibly affect everyone EXCEPT me? I can't think of anything... BUT, my PERCEPTION could change radically and cause me to SEE everything in a different way-is this another "spiritual makeover" symbol?
And, ending up in the museum gift shop... where you go AFTER you went through the museum and saw and learned stuff... ANOTHER symbol of some sort of spiritual breakthrough?
Ok, sure, great... so where's my big epiphany? Or even a small one? Well, I guess if I discovered that there really is a God it'd have to be a BIG epiphany... and it'd mess me up some, but at least I'd KNOW, and it'd save me a great deal of time and effort. If He's out there, can't He give me a better sign than these weird dreams?
I'm keeping an eye on the bushes in my front yard; I haven't seen so much as a wisp of smoke yet, but time will tell.
For the benefit of new readers, let me point out that I'm agnostic; I've seen neither proof that God exists nor proof that He DOESN'T... but since so many believe in Him, including some of the people I love and respect the most, I give Him the benefit of the doubt, and include Christianity in my spiritual studies. Presumably as a result of this, I periodically have a dream in which either Jesus or God makes an appearance; it's almost always the former, so when the Big Guy shows up I give it extra thought. Unfortunately, I've forgotten alot of this one, but there's enough left to be intriguing:
I was standing in the back of a lecture hall; I was vaguely aware of people in most of the seats, but the only person I really saw was the one teaching the class... and my 1st thought was, "That's God." He was tall and thin, with an odd, and oddly familiar, spherical mass of chestnut curls, and a beard that clearly hadn't been groomed in a while (he needed to shave the areas of His face that weren't meant to be part of the beard); He was wearing jeans and a flannel shirt that was bright red check or plaid... I'm not sure which, but I'm positive it was just red and black, with none of the yellow or white that are typically part of red plaid.
I don't remember what He was saying, what if anything was written on the board behind Him, or even what subject He might have been teaching; you can imagine how desperately I wish otherwise, since this would've probably been stuff that my subconscious deemed very important to tell me about.
At some point, He spoke to me; the students hadn't left, so I think class was still in session, although it's possible that it had just ended and no one had collected their stuff and gotten up yet... I'm pretty sure He stopped His lecture to address me, but I might just have gotten that idea because of what happened later. Much to my dismay, I can't recollect what He SAID; I DO recollect that I felt no sense of wonder, or fear, or bewilderment at why God would single ME out for special attention, when I wasn't in His class and so technically didn't even belong there.
The next thing I recall was that I was alone with Him... somewhere. There was a bathroom with a shower attached to the room we were in, so it was either His bedroom, a hotel room, or maybe it was His office (if you're God, I'm guessing that a full bathroom wouldn't be too much to expect as part of your office accoutrements); no, I did NOT feel like there was anything sexual in the offing... He's not one of the Greek gods, after all (although if He'd turned into a swan I'd have gotten nervous whether or not He started calling me "Leda"... do they still teach that myth?). He was talking non-stop; about what, I can't remember, sigh. Then, He started taking His clothes off; I politely turned my back, and heard the shower starting to run... I guess God is so busy that He has to have talks with people whenever He can. He came around me to get something (I didn't see what-clean clothes would be my guess), and before I could avert my eyes I got an eyeful; I was startled, and wondered to myself why God would choose a male form with such a small endowment... then again, what has He got to prove?
Then, while He was in the shower, came the only part of what He said that I recall; He was going to make a major alteration to everything in the universe (I don't know what, or why), and He was offering me the opportunity to remain unchanged, and to keep my memory intact, which meant I'd know that a change had been made and what things used to be like... and I'd be the only one who did. I accepted the offer.
The next thing I recollect is that I was in what I somehow knew was a museum gift shop; I was having trouble breathing, which, as I hung onto a nearby shelf and tried to get more air into my lungs, I attributed to my body not being used to the new version of reality yet... although it was probably actually a reflection of my still being congested and being too deeply asleep to switch to mouth-breathing right away when my sinuses started closing up. There were several people with me that I couldn't quite see, but 2 of whose voices I recognized, my husband and my most deeply religious friend; I told them I just needed to catch my breath, while wishing I could tell them the truth without sounding crazy.
And that's all I remember.
What do I make of all that? God as a teacher is logical enough, especially if you consider Him as also being Jesus as the Catholics do. His being intellectual but unkempt and badly dressed makes him resemble a geek; the friend who's non-coincidentally present at the end of the dream always says that God appears to each nation, each culture, each PERSON in whatever form is easiest for them to accept... and I'M a geek, so how else would He appear to me? His hairstyle was familiar because I just saw a man with exactly that same 'do (and untamed facial hair) on TV... on "Extreme Makeover." (The guy's name was Arik, which, in an interesting twist, means "sacred ruler" or "ruler of all" depending on which site you believe.) I surmise that it's ME that the makeover concept is meant to apply to, rather than it meaning that God needs a shave and a haircut, and that it's a spiritual makeover that's symbolized, not that God thinks I need to wear flannel... and if there IS a God, it's safe to assume that He wants me to alter my belief system to include Him, so no mystery there.
The classroom where I was standing in the aisle but didn't belong; that'd be a symbol Christianity, of course.
The whole bit of being alone with God in what was probably a bedroom, and the nudity/shower thing, gives me the feeling of having been behind the scenes, and the phrase "the naked truth" keeps popping up in my head; yeah, it's trite, but dream symbolism often is. I can't imagine that my subconscious was trying to suggest that God might have been hoping to jump my bones, and after all my years of marriage I'm well beyond being an appropriate vessel for immaculate conception; all I can figure is that the "private stuff" is suggestive of intimacy, which we DID have in the sense that He was sharing a secret with me and was offering me the, er, bare facts about His plans for the universe... but why ME?
My aforementioned religious friend tells me that I'm special to God, in that He has endowed me with the ability to figure out how He's set things up (aka karma, which she sees as having been created by God as a tool to carry out His will), and that He's attempting to guide me via my spiritual quest to the point where I can perceive and embrace Him; because of the free will deal, He can't "force himself on me" to make me believe (does that tie into Him being naked and alone with me in the dream with no hint of sex in the air? hmmmmmmmmmmm), but if I can analyze my way into believing in Him then He'll have won a great victory... yeah, it sounds ridiculous to ME, too, but she's one of those folks who claims to have a close personal relationship with God, and I accept that she's got a grip on SOMETHING powerful after all the years I've observed her, although there's no evidence that it's a deity rather than an instinctive ability to manipulate the forces of karma... Anyways, she and my other Christian friends assure me that these "religious" dreams, which most BELIEVERS don't even have much less "heathens," are indicative of either God trying to persuade me or my subconscious mind signaling me about the truth that I know deep down; naturally, I resist these ideas, but have no logical explanation for why I periodically dream about a deity I don't believe in and generally don't give much thought to.
What's the change God was going to make to the universe? What kind of change could possibly affect everyone EXCEPT me? I can't think of anything... BUT, my PERCEPTION could change radically and cause me to SEE everything in a different way-is this another "spiritual makeover" symbol?
And, ending up in the museum gift shop... where you go AFTER you went through the museum and saw and learned stuff... ANOTHER symbol of some sort of spiritual breakthrough?
Ok, sure, great... so where's my big epiphany? Or even a small one? Well, I guess if I discovered that there really is a God it'd have to be a BIG epiphany... and it'd mess me up some, but at least I'd KNOW, and it'd save me a great deal of time and effort. If He's out there, can't He give me a better sign than these weird dreams?
I'm keeping an eye on the bushes in my front yard; I haven't seen so much as a wisp of smoke yet, but time will tell.
