Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Relationship karma
A major spiritual epiphany I've had this year is about how when you influence people with your actions or words, making them think, feel or act differently than they otherwise would, the karma generated by whatever actions they take, or energy they emit, flows back to you, as does karma from whoever those people influence because of YOUR influence, and on and on (see my posts of 2-18-06 and 4-7-06). It occurred to me today that there's another avenue that would connect your karma to other people's; having a relationship with them. I'm not talking about how the karma of those around you overlaps your karmic sphere, which is old news, but about how, just by being someone's friend, lover, or family member, you affect them, and in return receive some of their karma directly.
What do you suppose that means if you persist in maintaining close ties with an EVIL person?
Have you ever known a bad person who DIDN'T have friends, a romantic partner, and family who loved them? Probably not. Why do even decent, intelligent, mature people cling to bad apples? Because no one realizes or admits that someone in THEIR sacred group of loved/liked ones could possibly be anything but wonderful. You know what's coming next, right? Unless you, like me, have made a major lifelong effort to make SURE that only decent people are allowed to have more than distant, formal contact with you, there's a good chance that some unpleasant people are impacting your karma with their ugliness.
We can't expect people to be saints, but we CAN expect basically good behavior and attitudes, and we SHOULD be rejecting people who don't manage that, although for the most part we don't; we say things like, "Well, yeah, (s)he hates gays/cheats on their partner all the time/spreads vicious gossip/takes credit for other people's work/goes on a serial killing spree every week, but (s)he's my friend/lover/sibling, so...", as if the existence of the relationship somehow counteracts the often lengthy list of serious wrongdoings they're guilty of. I don't care how much you love them, how long you've known them, or if you share DNA or a name with them, if they do bad things they're a bad person; the new twist is that withholding your affection and support from them is not only the right thing to do to, it's karmically correct as well.
How do you get karma from the people you have relationships with? When you interact with someone in a chummy way, or, even more meaningfully, in a loving way, you become part of the foundation of their emotional life, one of those from whom they gain strength and confidence... which evil types then use to hurt people. While there are certainly folks who are natural loners, in general we're social creatures who want the approval of, and attention from, those around us; we're quick to use this power to pressure people into wearing the "right" clothes and getting the "right" haircuts, but we're utter failures at using it to make them BEHAVE. The friendship and love that we give bad people emboldens them to MISbehave, and opens up a pipeline through which the bad karma they receive from their victims comes to US; based on their lack of intervention, it's clear that few people care about the harm done to the victims of their nastier buddies, but maybe realizing that staying close to toxic types is in itself harmful will persuade some folks to take off their blinders and stop clasping the vipers to their bosoms.
Rotten people eventually get around to slamming everyone within reach, including those they supposedly like/love; I've warned over and over that this is an ironclad reason to kick any baddies in your life to the curb. We find it hard to be concerned about the vague future, though, especially when we refuse to truly believe that it'll be anything but rosy, so maybe this realization will help you do the necessary kicking; no matter how virtuous you are, you won't have clean karma unless the people in your life are also virtuous, or at the very least NEUTRAL... select your friends and lovers, and which family members to be close to, accordingly.
There are plenty of terrific people in the world, folks who don't hurt or hate; I know they're not as glamorous or exciting or sexy as the baddies are, but you're an adult, and you can get beyond that... cultivate relationships with them, CHOOSE to favor good over evil, and you'll reap the benefits.
Here's the news:
The Christmas tree STILL isn't down, but everything's off of it now, so maybe by the end of the week... or MONTH, sigh...
My grandmother's in her 90's, and she's been losing her mental sharpness in the last few years; in our most recent attempted phone conversation, for the 1st time she couldn't seem to grasp who my husband and I were... she had us confused with my cousin and her fiance despite our best efforts to straighten her out. OUCH. :-(
The alpha male raccoon, who'd had an injured front paw, suddenly stopped coming. The beta male stopped coming too. The gamma male has yet to return after I accidentally scared him off the 1st time he came to eat. The female had stopped coming also, and we thought we'd been completely abandoned by coonish society, or that they were all
(dead)
trapped and relocated, but a few days ago she came back... and SHE has an injured leg/paw (we can't tell which, we just know she tries not to put that paw on the ground), a rear one this time, which makes it VERY hard for her to walk. TWO raccoons that hang out together BOTH with major injuries within a small time frame? If I find out that someone has been pelting them with rocks or doing something else to hurt them...
Don't worry, I'll leave you with a bit of humor; I got a "gun" that fires foam projectiles, which is intended to allow kids to shoot each other without causing injury... but there's ways around the harmlessness of that particular toy. When it came in the mail, my husband got it set up for me and we went to the "firing range" (aka the hallway); he got to the far end and dropped his pants... and he didn't turn his back to me, either, let's say, hehehehehe. I'm an awful shot, but he tells me each time where I hit him so that I can gradually correct my aim; eventually, the shriek of pain tells me that I hit the target... and then we both laugh and laugh.
Does that seem crazy to you? Believe it or not, this was originally my husband's idea; I've been pelting him in the groin with stuff for YEARS, and his explanation for it is that it makes me laugh, and that'll help keep him alive when he screws up. Between you and me, as entertaining as this game is I'd prefer that he pick up after himself instead, or show up on time, or flush the toilet more often; still, I'm the envy of my female friends, and that's gotta count for something.
What do you suppose that means if you persist in maintaining close ties with an EVIL person?
Have you ever known a bad person who DIDN'T have friends, a romantic partner, and family who loved them? Probably not. Why do even decent, intelligent, mature people cling to bad apples? Because no one realizes or admits that someone in THEIR sacred group of loved/liked ones could possibly be anything but wonderful. You know what's coming next, right? Unless you, like me, have made a major lifelong effort to make SURE that only decent people are allowed to have more than distant, formal contact with you, there's a good chance that some unpleasant people are impacting your karma with their ugliness.
We can't expect people to be saints, but we CAN expect basically good behavior and attitudes, and we SHOULD be rejecting people who don't manage that, although for the most part we don't; we say things like, "Well, yeah, (s)he hates gays/cheats on their partner all the time/spreads vicious gossip/takes credit for other people's work/goes on a serial killing spree every week, but (s)he's my friend/lover/sibling, so...", as if the existence of the relationship somehow counteracts the often lengthy list of serious wrongdoings they're guilty of. I don't care how much you love them, how long you've known them, or if you share DNA or a name with them, if they do bad things they're a bad person; the new twist is that withholding your affection and support from them is not only the right thing to do to, it's karmically correct as well.
How do you get karma from the people you have relationships with? When you interact with someone in a chummy way, or, even more meaningfully, in a loving way, you become part of the foundation of their emotional life, one of those from whom they gain strength and confidence... which evil types then use to hurt people. While there are certainly folks who are natural loners, in general we're social creatures who want the approval of, and attention from, those around us; we're quick to use this power to pressure people into wearing the "right" clothes and getting the "right" haircuts, but we're utter failures at using it to make them BEHAVE. The friendship and love that we give bad people emboldens them to MISbehave, and opens up a pipeline through which the bad karma they receive from their victims comes to US; based on their lack of intervention, it's clear that few people care about the harm done to the victims of their nastier buddies, but maybe realizing that staying close to toxic types is in itself harmful will persuade some folks to take off their blinders and stop clasping the vipers to their bosoms.
Rotten people eventually get around to slamming everyone within reach, including those they supposedly like/love; I've warned over and over that this is an ironclad reason to kick any baddies in your life to the curb. We find it hard to be concerned about the vague future, though, especially when we refuse to truly believe that it'll be anything but rosy, so maybe this realization will help you do the necessary kicking; no matter how virtuous you are, you won't have clean karma unless the people in your life are also virtuous, or at the very least NEUTRAL... select your friends and lovers, and which family members to be close to, accordingly.
There are plenty of terrific people in the world, folks who don't hurt or hate; I know they're not as glamorous or exciting or sexy as the baddies are, but you're an adult, and you can get beyond that... cultivate relationships with them, CHOOSE to favor good over evil, and you'll reap the benefits.
Here's the news:
The Christmas tree STILL isn't down, but everything's off of it now, so maybe by the end of the week... or MONTH, sigh...
My grandmother's in her 90's, and she's been losing her mental sharpness in the last few years; in our most recent attempted phone conversation, for the 1st time she couldn't seem to grasp who my husband and I were... she had us confused with my cousin and her fiance despite our best efforts to straighten her out. OUCH. :-(
The alpha male raccoon, who'd had an injured front paw, suddenly stopped coming. The beta male stopped coming too. The gamma male has yet to return after I accidentally scared him off the 1st time he came to eat. The female had stopped coming also, and we thought we'd been completely abandoned by coonish society, or that they were all
(dead)
trapped and relocated, but a few days ago she came back... and SHE has an injured leg/paw (we can't tell which, we just know she tries not to put that paw on the ground), a rear one this time, which makes it VERY hard for her to walk. TWO raccoons that hang out together BOTH with major injuries within a small time frame? If I find out that someone has been pelting them with rocks or doing something else to hurt them...
Don't worry, I'll leave you with a bit of humor; I got a "gun" that fires foam projectiles, which is intended to allow kids to shoot each other without causing injury... but there's ways around the harmlessness of that particular toy. When it came in the mail, my husband got it set up for me and we went to the "firing range" (aka the hallway); he got to the far end and dropped his pants... and he didn't turn his back to me, either, let's say, hehehehehe. I'm an awful shot, but he tells me each time where I hit him so that I can gradually correct my aim; eventually, the shriek of pain tells me that I hit the target... and then we both laugh and laugh.
Does that seem crazy to you? Believe it or not, this was originally my husband's idea; I've been pelting him in the groin with stuff for YEARS, and his explanation for it is that it makes me laugh, and that'll help keep him alive when he screws up. Between you and me, as entertaining as this game is I'd prefer that he pick up after himself instead, or show up on time, or flush the toilet more often; still, I'm the envy of my female friends, and that's gotta count for something.
