Tuesday, December 07, 2004
You know it's love when
I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone claim that their romantic partner REALLY loves them, when in fact that person treats them with indifference or even contempt... what exactly do they BASE these claims on? When someone says something like, "(S)he treats me bad, sure, but (s)he loves me," what mental process have they gone through to convince themselves that this love exists without proof, and with ample proof to the contrary? Do they think that WANTING to be loved somehow substitutes for actually BEING loved, or do they just have no idea what love actually looks like? If YOU know someone like this, here's an example to pass along to them, to hopefully help them to get a clue:
Last night, as I was eating my dinner, I gradually became aware that my feet, which were bare in a chilly house, were so cold that the toenails were blue; not wanting to go to the other end of the house and dig out a pair of socks, I asked my husband to come over and warm up my feet. He made a joking comment about my lack of socks, but he came right over to, I first assumed, hold my feet in his hands and maybe rub them a little to get the circulation going; he sat on the floor next to my chair... and then slid his legs and lower body UNDER the chair, lifted up his sweater, and put my icy feet under the sweater and against his bare skin. My feet were quite pleased with this, as it was VERY warm in there; my husband cringed and grimaced as one would expect a man in his circumstances to do, but he stayed there until my feet were warmed through.
Now THAT'S what love looks like. :-)
Last night, as I was eating my dinner, I gradually became aware that my feet, which were bare in a chilly house, were so cold that the toenails were blue; not wanting to go to the other end of the house and dig out a pair of socks, I asked my husband to come over and warm up my feet. He made a joking comment about my lack of socks, but he came right over to, I first assumed, hold my feet in his hands and maybe rub them a little to get the circulation going; he sat on the floor next to my chair... and then slid his legs and lower body UNDER the chair, lifted up his sweater, and put my icy feet under the sweater and against his bare skin. My feet were quite pleased with this, as it was VERY warm in there; my husband cringed and grimaced as one would expect a man in his circumstances to do, but he stayed there until my feet were warmed through.
Now THAT'S what love looks like. :-)
Monday, December 06, 2004
Joel Osteen makes an interesting point
In tonight's sermon, Osteen told a story about a man who was trying to travel through the mountains, and got to a place where a huge boulder completely blocked his way; the man asked God to move the boulder so that he could pass by, but God told the man that he must move it himself. Although sure that he couldn't do it, the man tried, and tried... all day long, every day, for 6 months (this story is so grim that it's probably Old Testament). Finally, God sent a big storm that swept the boulder away, and the man asked why He had waited all this time to do it, and caused him so much sweat and struggle for nothing; God replied by telling the man to look at his legs, his shoulders, his arms, and see how big and powerful he had become in his battle with the boulder, and by assuring him that he'd be glad of this muscle mass in the times to come, and be greatly benefited by it... and that's why He had set the man to that dreadful task.
The point of the story, clearly, is that when we have struggles and suffering, even when they seem pointless and fruitless, what in fact is going on is that God is making us stronger so that we may triumph later on; although I don't believe in God (nor do I deny His existence, as I can't prove He doesn't exist), I DO think that this story has meaning, because it often seems clear to me that my sufferings, and those of people I know, DO end up benefiting us, making it possible for us to endure, understand, achieve and triumph far beyond what we otherwise could have.
There's no doubt that hard times toughen us up and allow us to learn many important lessons, but I think there's more to it, at least some of the time; karma tends to place in our path whatever we need to reach our goals, whether that be the people who'll help and teach us, the urge to take beneficial actions, or hardships to bring out our finest qualities. If, as Osteen points out, we can keep working at our goals with a positive mindset, we can use everything that's happened to us to accomplish more than we ever thought ourselves capable of.
The point of the story, clearly, is that when we have struggles and suffering, even when they seem pointless and fruitless, what in fact is going on is that God is making us stronger so that we may triumph later on; although I don't believe in God (nor do I deny His existence, as I can't prove He doesn't exist), I DO think that this story has meaning, because it often seems clear to me that my sufferings, and those of people I know, DO end up benefiting us, making it possible for us to endure, understand, achieve and triumph far beyond what we otherwise could have.
There's no doubt that hard times toughen us up and allow us to learn many important lessons, but I think there's more to it, at least some of the time; karma tends to place in our path whatever we need to reach our goals, whether that be the people who'll help and teach us, the urge to take beneficial actions, or hardships to bring out our finest qualities. If, as Osteen points out, we can keep working at our goals with a positive mindset, we can use everything that's happened to us to accomplish more than we ever thought ourselves capable of.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
Odd stuff in "Alien"
I saw "Alien" tonight for about the billionth time; do you remember the line from the ads, "In space, no one can hear you scream?" This was meant to be scary, and it IS, but it's also scientifically accurate, as sound doesn't carry in a vacuum; since they KNEW that, why then did they have SOUND accompanying the various things the spaceship did when our point of view was out in space? When the jets fired up, when stuff exploded, it should have been in absolute silence, but they went along with what every other scifi movie and program does and gave us sound effects for all of it.
Another lapse in common sense came when they had a crewmember smoking; they have a limited amount of air that has to be recycled endlessly for months, so would they be burning oxygen and spewing pollutants into the air by smoking? What was even worse was when they were charging around with flamethrowers; wouldn't a fire on a spaceship be a BAD thing, for reasons beyond the wastage of oxygen and the strain on the air filters?
And then there was Jones the cat; who would ever be stupid enough to let an animal roam freely around a spaceship? Not only are there all sorts of controls and such that you KNOW a cat would make a beeline for, cat hair gets everywhere, which, when you have sensitive computer components on which your LIFE depends that can't even tolerate a speck of dust getting on them, would be a BAD thing.
The reason for having the cat, though, is to allow them to have several rounds of the classic horror movie maneuver, chasing after the cat as it ignores the human character that's about to become monster-chow or a slashed-up corpse and keeps running away, leading the unwitting human right into danger; the pet HAS to be a cat for this suspenseful scene to work, as a DOG would run obediently to the human the first time it was called, and would bark and growl at the monster/killer AND would attack it ferociously if it tried to kill the human... whereas a cat would trip the human up and leave him/her for dead in its mad dash to escape.
Perhaps the dopiest thing in the movie is the elaborate and time-consuming procedure necessary to arm the self-destruct mechanism; since it would likely be a screaming emergency when this had to be used, wouldn't that sort of defeat the purpose? The procedure to shut it off is just as bad, and it seems sort of silly to risk the entire ship and everyone on it on whether or not a panicked crewmember could jump through all the hoops fast enough to stop the countdown. Silliest of all, they showed Ripley, who's the 3rd in command of the ship, reading the directions for the mechanism... um, wouldn't she already KNOW such an important procedure?
Don't get me wrong, I think that the movie is conceptually brilliant, and the moment when the alien bursts out of the man's abdomen is one of the all-time classic horror moments, but, you've gotta admit, some of the fine points leave a little to be desired.
Another lapse in common sense came when they had a crewmember smoking; they have a limited amount of air that has to be recycled endlessly for months, so would they be burning oxygen and spewing pollutants into the air by smoking? What was even worse was when they were charging around with flamethrowers; wouldn't a fire on a spaceship be a BAD thing, for reasons beyond the wastage of oxygen and the strain on the air filters?
And then there was Jones the cat; who would ever be stupid enough to let an animal roam freely around a spaceship? Not only are there all sorts of controls and such that you KNOW a cat would make a beeline for, cat hair gets everywhere, which, when you have sensitive computer components on which your LIFE depends that can't even tolerate a speck of dust getting on them, would be a BAD thing.
The reason for having the cat, though, is to allow them to have several rounds of the classic horror movie maneuver, chasing after the cat as it ignores the human character that's about to become monster-chow or a slashed-up corpse and keeps running away, leading the unwitting human right into danger; the pet HAS to be a cat for this suspenseful scene to work, as a DOG would run obediently to the human the first time it was called, and would bark and growl at the monster/killer AND would attack it ferociously if it tried to kill the human... whereas a cat would trip the human up and leave him/her for dead in its mad dash to escape.
Perhaps the dopiest thing in the movie is the elaborate and time-consuming procedure necessary to arm the self-destruct mechanism; since it would likely be a screaming emergency when this had to be used, wouldn't that sort of defeat the purpose? The procedure to shut it off is just as bad, and it seems sort of silly to risk the entire ship and everyone on it on whether or not a panicked crewmember could jump through all the hoops fast enough to stop the countdown. Silliest of all, they showed Ripley, who's the 3rd in command of the ship, reading the directions for the mechanism... um, wouldn't she already KNOW such an important procedure?
Don't get me wrong, I think that the movie is conceptually brilliant, and the moment when the alien bursts out of the man's abdomen is one of the all-time classic horror moments, but, you've gotta admit, some of the fine points leave a little to be desired.
Saturday, December 04, 2004
Date-busters for men
We all know what sorts of things make a date bad from a woman's point of view, with poor hygiene, sexual pushiness and talking only about himself topping the list... but what sorts of things make a MAN turned off on a date? (Men deserve some credit for complaining little enough about this stuff that it's not common knowledge, by the way.)
1) The woman not being ready on time; men HATE having to sit around while a woman makes mysterious alterations to her appearance, and if you're late getting ready for a date, which is when you're still on your best behavior, he assumes he's ALWAYS going to have to wait for you, and this is a grim notion to him. You know how long you need to primp and preen, so start early enough that you're sure to be ready when he shows up.
2) The woman can't make her mind up at dinner; it's not like this is your last chance to eat any of the foods on the menu, so pick a meal, ANY meal, and don't say a single word about the meals that you didn't pick, or act like you don't like what you ordered... whining about food is utterly foreign to the male half of the species, and it makes you look high-maintenance and impossible to please, which makes you not worth dealing with in his mind.
3) The woman won't eat real food; guys know that you're weight-conscious, but they don't want to take you out only to see you eating skinless chicken on a lettuce leaf... it makes them feel like poor providers, and like you're going to be equally lacking in appetite in bed. You don't have to order the fattiest dish on the menu, but DO pick out something that looks like food rather than rabbit chow.
4) The woman takes calls on her cell during a date; unless you're a doctor on call, or have a minor child, there's NOTHING important enough for you to talk about on the phone in mid-date, so turn it off and leave it that way.... otherwise, he'll see you, rightly, as rude.
5) The woman's home is guy-unfriendly:
A) She has lowfat, nonfat, reduced fat, sugarfree, low salt, and every other kind of food that tastes icky in the name of weightloss or health; there's nothing for HIM to eat, and, again, he's put off by a woman who doesn't eat real food.
B) She has too many cutesy things like stuffed animals, dolls, figurines and other stuff he associates with junior high girls; this makes him think that you can't relate to him as an adult (which, granted, is hypocritical when HE has a video game system and still eats Captain Crunch for breakfast), and those sorts of things just plain make him feel uncomfortable, not to mention un-sexual (aka unmanly).
C) She puts a CD on, or asks him to pick one, and all she has are sappy wah-wah-wah singers that make him want to cover his ears and scream to blot out their music; this makes him wonder how depressed and/or unrealistically romantic she is.
6) She ignores him to baby-talk to her pets; few men enjoy playing second fiddle to lower life forms.
7) When they've agreed to watch a movie together, she tries to get him to watch a chick-flick; it's NEVER ok to try to get another person to watch a movie you know they'll dislike, and to do so means you're either rude or clueless or both. A suspense movie, on the other hand, is a good choice, because it gets the adrenaline going without being too violent for the woman to enjoy.
Ladies, guys are usually easy to please; if he asked you out, he already likes you (unless it's a blind date, but with those you usually don't CARE), so all you have to do to keep him happy is avoid coming across as a selfish little girl living in your own world... yes, and let him toss a few moves at you, but if you don't want that, why are you seeing him in the first place? Show him some courtesy, try to make him feel comfortable around you, and let him see that you're easygoing and not a princess, and you'll have no problems... other than all the goofy stuff HE does, of course. ;-)
1) The woman not being ready on time; men HATE having to sit around while a woman makes mysterious alterations to her appearance, and if you're late getting ready for a date, which is when you're still on your best behavior, he assumes he's ALWAYS going to have to wait for you, and this is a grim notion to him. You know how long you need to primp and preen, so start early enough that you're sure to be ready when he shows up.
2) The woman can't make her mind up at dinner; it's not like this is your last chance to eat any of the foods on the menu, so pick a meal, ANY meal, and don't say a single word about the meals that you didn't pick, or act like you don't like what you ordered... whining about food is utterly foreign to the male half of the species, and it makes you look high-maintenance and impossible to please, which makes you not worth dealing with in his mind.
3) The woman won't eat real food; guys know that you're weight-conscious, but they don't want to take you out only to see you eating skinless chicken on a lettuce leaf... it makes them feel like poor providers, and like you're going to be equally lacking in appetite in bed. You don't have to order the fattiest dish on the menu, but DO pick out something that looks like food rather than rabbit chow.
4) The woman takes calls on her cell during a date; unless you're a doctor on call, or have a minor child, there's NOTHING important enough for you to talk about on the phone in mid-date, so turn it off and leave it that way.... otherwise, he'll see you, rightly, as rude.
5) The woman's home is guy-unfriendly:
A) She has lowfat, nonfat, reduced fat, sugarfree, low salt, and every other kind of food that tastes icky in the name of weightloss or health; there's nothing for HIM to eat, and, again, he's put off by a woman who doesn't eat real food.
B) She has too many cutesy things like stuffed animals, dolls, figurines and other stuff he associates with junior high girls; this makes him think that you can't relate to him as an adult (which, granted, is hypocritical when HE has a video game system and still eats Captain Crunch for breakfast), and those sorts of things just plain make him feel uncomfortable, not to mention un-sexual (aka unmanly).
C) She puts a CD on, or asks him to pick one, and all she has are sappy wah-wah-wah singers that make him want to cover his ears and scream to blot out their music; this makes him wonder how depressed and/or unrealistically romantic she is.
6) She ignores him to baby-talk to her pets; few men enjoy playing second fiddle to lower life forms.
7) When they've agreed to watch a movie together, she tries to get him to watch a chick-flick; it's NEVER ok to try to get another person to watch a movie you know they'll dislike, and to do so means you're either rude or clueless or both. A suspense movie, on the other hand, is a good choice, because it gets the adrenaline going without being too violent for the woman to enjoy.
Ladies, guys are usually easy to please; if he asked you out, he already likes you (unless it's a blind date, but with those you usually don't CARE), so all you have to do to keep him happy is avoid coming across as a selfish little girl living in your own world... yes, and let him toss a few moves at you, but if you don't want that, why are you seeing him in the first place? Show him some courtesy, try to make him feel comfortable around you, and let him see that you're easygoing and not a princess, and you'll have no problems... other than all the goofy stuff HE does, of course. ;-)
Friday, December 03, 2004
The irritating emailer
So I met a guy on a forum; he talked about some interesting experiences he'd had, and I, never knowing the chance I was taking, asked him some questions, and... now I'm knee-deep in emails from him. I don't have time to email my oldest and dearest friends on a regular basis, and this total stranger sends me up to 3 emails a DAY, and I don't mean one-liners either; I only answer one email per day from a person when they bombard me like that, and usually they get the hint, but this guy's about as perceptive as a rock. I finally went so far as to point out that I had a big pileup of emails from him, and his reply was that his server must have sent out some duplicates, as he was sure he hadn't sent out that many... but no, sadly, none of them are duplicates.
I know, I could ignore him or blow him off, but, aside from the fact that he's heavily involved in a forum I'm currently participating in, he's perfectly nice, and has been nice to ME, and he's lonely, and... and I just can't kick him when he's obviously enjoying having someone to talk to for the first time in ages... sigh.
It wouldn't be so bad if he was still talking about interesting stuff, but he's gotten into giving me endless reports on his home improvement and woodworking projects instead; my repeated comments as to my total lack of interest in that sort of thing have had no effect whatsoever. Worse, he goes on and on about how miserable he is, and about the countless qualifications he has for this perfect woman he's expecting to find on his front doorstep one day (despite the fact that he's homely and broke), and it's starting to really bum me out.
What am I supposed to say to him? "No beautiful woman who ever lived is going to be interested in you, so start asking out ugly ones"? Or, "If someone is nice to you for 10 seconds, it doesn't mean that they want to hear you go on and on and ON about the trivial details of your roof repairs and how you make boxes out of boards"? There's just nothing I can tell him that'll wake him up to the realities of the situation that wouldn't hurt him deeply; that might not be so bad if it would make him change what's wrong and get a LIFE, but human nature being what it is, he'd dismiss anything that a person who hurt him said.
All I can think of to do is send a general message on this topic out, and hope that it'll get passed around, and that karma will see to it that eventually someone WILL get through to him:
1) Beautiful people want to hook up with each other, NOT with the non-beautiful; a wealthy enough man can get a beautiful woman even if he's unattractive, yes, as can a glamorous type like a musician, but that's about it... sorry, fellas, but every man in the world is battling for the few beautiful women, and if you're plain-faced and broke you just don't have a shot. If you get to know a NICE woman, though, and her fine inner qualities make you care about her, she'll SEEM beautiful to you, I promise; ask out women who are on about your own level of looks, who WILL be willing to date you, and, when you fall in love with one of them, you'll believe yourself to be with the most beautiful woman in the world.
2) If you have, not only no romantic relationship, but also no friends, you need to take a hard look at yourself and see WHY; you're probably a wonderful person, but you're just unaware that droning on about how unhappy you are, how lonely, and about hobbies that your listeners have expressed no interest in, puts people off. Make a vow to yourself to stop complaining and boring people to death with your monologues, and start learning how to be a friend, and how to HAVE friends... and then, you can worry about the next step.
3) If you do fine with friends but fail with romance, you're clearly either having a personality change with potential dates out of nervousness, or you don't grasp how to treat a date differently than a friend; get some of your better friends to role-play with you, to help you learn what to say and how to act when you want to get to know someone better. Yes, it'll feel a little awkward and embarrassing, but it'll be well worth it if it gets you a relationship, right?
4) And finally; please, PLEASE, under NO circumstances should you EVER call or email a near-stranger multiple times a day, or even once a day; give them a BREAK, and spare them the excessive info about your life and feelings, so that long-term they can be a friend rather than someone who'll do a disappearing act or pick a fight with you out of desperation.
I hope this works; cross your fingers for me...
I know, I could ignore him or blow him off, but, aside from the fact that he's heavily involved in a forum I'm currently participating in, he's perfectly nice, and has been nice to ME, and he's lonely, and... and I just can't kick him when he's obviously enjoying having someone to talk to for the first time in ages... sigh.
It wouldn't be so bad if he was still talking about interesting stuff, but he's gotten into giving me endless reports on his home improvement and woodworking projects instead; my repeated comments as to my total lack of interest in that sort of thing have had no effect whatsoever. Worse, he goes on and on about how miserable he is, and about the countless qualifications he has for this perfect woman he's expecting to find on his front doorstep one day (despite the fact that he's homely and broke), and it's starting to really bum me out.
What am I supposed to say to him? "No beautiful woman who ever lived is going to be interested in you, so start asking out ugly ones"? Or, "If someone is nice to you for 10 seconds, it doesn't mean that they want to hear you go on and on and ON about the trivial details of your roof repairs and how you make boxes out of boards"? There's just nothing I can tell him that'll wake him up to the realities of the situation that wouldn't hurt him deeply; that might not be so bad if it would make him change what's wrong and get a LIFE, but human nature being what it is, he'd dismiss anything that a person who hurt him said.
All I can think of to do is send a general message on this topic out, and hope that it'll get passed around, and that karma will see to it that eventually someone WILL get through to him:
1) Beautiful people want to hook up with each other, NOT with the non-beautiful; a wealthy enough man can get a beautiful woman even if he's unattractive, yes, as can a glamorous type like a musician, but that's about it... sorry, fellas, but every man in the world is battling for the few beautiful women, and if you're plain-faced and broke you just don't have a shot. If you get to know a NICE woman, though, and her fine inner qualities make you care about her, she'll SEEM beautiful to you, I promise; ask out women who are on about your own level of looks, who WILL be willing to date you, and, when you fall in love with one of them, you'll believe yourself to be with the most beautiful woman in the world.
2) If you have, not only no romantic relationship, but also no friends, you need to take a hard look at yourself and see WHY; you're probably a wonderful person, but you're just unaware that droning on about how unhappy you are, how lonely, and about hobbies that your listeners have expressed no interest in, puts people off. Make a vow to yourself to stop complaining and boring people to death with your monologues, and start learning how to be a friend, and how to HAVE friends... and then, you can worry about the next step.
3) If you do fine with friends but fail with romance, you're clearly either having a personality change with potential dates out of nervousness, or you don't grasp how to treat a date differently than a friend; get some of your better friends to role-play with you, to help you learn what to say and how to act when you want to get to know someone better. Yes, it'll feel a little awkward and embarrassing, but it'll be well worth it if it gets you a relationship, right?
4) And finally; please, PLEASE, under NO circumstances should you EVER call or email a near-stranger multiple times a day, or even once a day; give them a BREAK, and spare them the excessive info about your life and feelings, so that long-term they can be a friend rather than someone who'll do a disappearing act or pick a fight with you out of desperation.
I hope this works; cross your fingers for me...
Thursday, December 02, 2004
An excess of white
Have you noticed that recent movies have an excess of white?
When they show someone's bed, their sheets are almost always white... although the only white sheets I've ever seen in real life are at hotels.
The towels are always white in the bathrooms... ditto the hotel thing.
In fact, the entire bathroom tends to be white... again with the hotel concept, what's WITH these set decorators, do they think we all live at Motel 6, that we'll find all this whiteness to be normal?
When they show a woman's panties under circumstances other than when she's wearing a lingerie set, they're always white; does any woman under 60 even OWN white underwear anymore?
A woman's socks will usually be white, although sometimes they're a pale bland neutral... like they probably wear in prison.
A woman's bathrobe (and often a man's) will be white terry... and here we are back to the hotel theme again.
Food is served on white dishes that come out of a kitchen that's either all-white or white with a little woodtone; I don't know WHAT to compare this to, as I've never seen it anywhere... maybe hotel kitchens are white?
White is about as boring and unappealing as a color can be, so what has possessed Hollywood to make every possible thing in movies white? Do moviemakers get a deep discount at the Hotel and Prison Supply Warehouse? Did some brilliant beancounter figure out that anything white could be re-used over and over in different movies and nobody would notice, because white just fades into the background in our minds? Or do they think that real colors will draw the eye and detract from the actors? Or is white easier to capture on film, or does it show better on the silver screen?
Whatever it is, I'm tired of it, and of the drab neutrals that make up most of the rest of the color palette of a modern movie; listen, Hollywood, the point of color film is to actually HAVE some color, so how's about you rediscover the vibrancy and excitement of red, purple and pink, and save the white for weddings and funeral flowers?
When they show someone's bed, their sheets are almost always white... although the only white sheets I've ever seen in real life are at hotels.
The towels are always white in the bathrooms... ditto the hotel thing.
In fact, the entire bathroom tends to be white... again with the hotel concept, what's WITH these set decorators, do they think we all live at Motel 6, that we'll find all this whiteness to be normal?
When they show a woman's panties under circumstances other than when she's wearing a lingerie set, they're always white; does any woman under 60 even OWN white underwear anymore?
A woman's socks will usually be white, although sometimes they're a pale bland neutral... like they probably wear in prison.
A woman's bathrobe (and often a man's) will be white terry... and here we are back to the hotel theme again.
Food is served on white dishes that come out of a kitchen that's either all-white or white with a little woodtone; I don't know WHAT to compare this to, as I've never seen it anywhere... maybe hotel kitchens are white?
White is about as boring and unappealing as a color can be, so what has possessed Hollywood to make every possible thing in movies white? Do moviemakers get a deep discount at the Hotel and Prison Supply Warehouse? Did some brilliant beancounter figure out that anything white could be re-used over and over in different movies and nobody would notice, because white just fades into the background in our minds? Or do they think that real colors will draw the eye and detract from the actors? Or is white easier to capture on film, or does it show better on the silver screen?
Whatever it is, I'm tired of it, and of the drab neutrals that make up most of the rest of the color palette of a modern movie; listen, Hollywood, the point of color film is to actually HAVE some color, so how's about you rediscover the vibrancy and excitement of red, purple and pink, and save the white for weddings and funeral flowers?
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Ginger vs Mary Ann
This latest ridiculous "reality" series, "The Real Gilligan's Island," got my husband and I talking about what sort of woman most men REALLY like... and, contrary to what most women believe, it's the girl-next-door type represented by Mary Ann, NOT the glittering perfection embodied by Ginger. Yes, a man will admire a beautiful woman even if she's glamorous and high-maintenance, but nearly all men prefer a woman who isn't so obvious, isn't trying so hard, and isn't so "done"... and they nearly all prefer short-shorts to an evening gown as well (most men would like their women to be able to get dressed up when the occasion requires it, yes, but I defy you to find a man who looks at pics of women in eveningwear for, um, "inspiration").
Want more proof of the appeal of the Mary Ann type? For many years, and maybe to this day, the most popular Sports Illustrated swimsuit model by far was Kathy Ireland, although there were many more glamorous, better-built, and objectively better-looking models... and, yes, many that had bigger boobs than hers. Ms. Ireland is about as girl next door as it gets; she looks like the prettiest woman that most men know in real life, or, more likely, the prettiest girl they went to school with, and this appeals to men more than chiseled cheekbones ever will.
And speaking of school; who do you suppose teenaged boys and young men fantasize about the most? We female types naturally assume that it's Miss November or some supermodel, but any guy can tell you that it's the girls in their class that star in the majority of their erotic imaginings; in fact, it's normal for guys at any age to fantasize about every female they know who isn't extraordinarily homely, so you can be certain that pretty much every guy you know has fantasized about you at some point (keep that in mind if there's a guy you want that you don't have the courage to go after).
And here's the REAL shocker about school; I saw a survey not long ago asking men what sort of fantasy roleplaying character they'd most like to have a woman be for them, and the winner by a long shot was, brace yourselves, "the sexy teacher." This stunned me at first, as there's nothing inherently sexy about writing on a chalkboard or any of the other tasks a teacher normally does (with the possible exception of a gym teacher-remember "Porky's"?), but, then again, any teacher who isn't ancient will probably look as good as most of the girls, and she'll be one of the adult women outside of a boy's family that he interacts with the most, SEES the most... so, it makes sense, although it's still a little mind-boggling.
So, women of the world, don't fret that you don't look like a supermodel; those men that DO want that type see women as objects to enhance their images and build their egos, and that's not a role any self-respecting woman would want... and, although most men would knock boots with that type of woman if given a chance, they want a regular woman to bring home to mom and bring up their kids. Yes, you need to be reasonably attractive to attract lots of guys; still, most guys find a wide range of appearances attractive, and as long as you're friendly and show a little skin without looking like you're begging for attention, you can get almost any guy to at least consider you.
So, be a Mary Ann and be proud of it; the girl next door will always be the one closest to a man's heart.
Want more proof of the appeal of the Mary Ann type? For many years, and maybe to this day, the most popular Sports Illustrated swimsuit model by far was Kathy Ireland, although there were many more glamorous, better-built, and objectively better-looking models... and, yes, many that had bigger boobs than hers. Ms. Ireland is about as girl next door as it gets; she looks like the prettiest woman that most men know in real life, or, more likely, the prettiest girl they went to school with, and this appeals to men more than chiseled cheekbones ever will.
And speaking of school; who do you suppose teenaged boys and young men fantasize about the most? We female types naturally assume that it's Miss November or some supermodel, but any guy can tell you that it's the girls in their class that star in the majority of their erotic imaginings; in fact, it's normal for guys at any age to fantasize about every female they know who isn't extraordinarily homely, so you can be certain that pretty much every guy you know has fantasized about you at some point (keep that in mind if there's a guy you want that you don't have the courage to go after).
And here's the REAL shocker about school; I saw a survey not long ago asking men what sort of fantasy roleplaying character they'd most like to have a woman be for them, and the winner by a long shot was, brace yourselves, "the sexy teacher." This stunned me at first, as there's nothing inherently sexy about writing on a chalkboard or any of the other tasks a teacher normally does (with the possible exception of a gym teacher-remember "Porky's"?), but, then again, any teacher who isn't ancient will probably look as good as most of the girls, and she'll be one of the adult women outside of a boy's family that he interacts with the most, SEES the most... so, it makes sense, although it's still a little mind-boggling.
So, women of the world, don't fret that you don't look like a supermodel; those men that DO want that type see women as objects to enhance their images and build their egos, and that's not a role any self-respecting woman would want... and, although most men would knock boots with that type of woman if given a chance, they want a regular woman to bring home to mom and bring up their kids. Yes, you need to be reasonably attractive to attract lots of guys; still, most guys find a wide range of appearances attractive, and as long as you're friendly and show a little skin without looking like you're begging for attention, you can get almost any guy to at least consider you.
So, be a Mary Ann and be proud of it; the girl next door will always be the one closest to a man's heart.
