Saturday, August 06, 2005
The karma of free will
This Dilbert cartoon
http://www.comics.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20050806.html
brings up a point that's the subject of much debate; whether the existence of powerful "beyond human" forces that can cause things to happen means that whatever we do is what we're "supposed to" be doing, rather than what we'd objectively choose to do. In the cartoon, Dogbert says, "I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day long and I assume they deserve it." While I don't imagine anyone would go so far as to believe that, if they actually did what Dogbert refers to, all the potential victims would coincidentally be deserving of whatever they got, IS it possible that we could ever, even occasionally, become purely the tools of karma, in other words acting in such a way as to further karmic goals rather than our own, such that we're not acting out of free will?
That question is slipperier than it 1st appears, because there's more than 1 way to control people; I'll cover both possible "control scenarios" that I currently see, and if I think of more I'll edit them in later. The totally literal way of looking at the free will concept would be to ask if we ever become essentially programmed to act in the way karma (or God or another deity, if you prefer, as the idea is the same) "wants" or "needs" us to, without our own personalities being involved in the choice to act; since we don't hear stories about people inexplicably taking actions contrary to their preferences, I think it's safe to label this one a "no."
But here's the "gray area" way of looking at it; could karma put thoughts into our heads, stimulate our emotions, give us urges, that would impel us towards whatever course of action would best contribute to the achieving of its ends? I don't think there's any way to be sure about this, but I'd say yes; we send out thoughts and emotions into the tapestry of karma all the time, and it's no great stretch to imagine it sending some back. It gets even grayer; since we can CHOOSE whether or not to act on those thoughts, feelings and urges, since we'd HAVE to be choosing, or, again, we'd be hearing about people taking those inexplicable actions, CAN the influence of karma be seen as taking away our free will? And grayer still; since it's very rare for any of us to really think things through and objectively analyze them, particularly when there's any sort of feeling or even whim involved, and equally rare for any of us to succeed in taking action contrary to our urges, doesn't that suggest that, by imbuing us with what amounts to the desire to act a certain way, karma's essentially indirectly "programming" us to do what it wishes, contrary to what our will would have been if we'd been uninfluenced?
If you ARE making thorough objective analyses of the choices you make, you DO have free will by every definition; if you're acting on impulse, or in ways contrary to what you "should" be doing, would be doing if you were really using your head... you could very well be a pawn being moved about by karma to serve its "plans." As always, the choice is yours.
http://www.comics.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20050806.html
brings up a point that's the subject of much debate; whether the existence of powerful "beyond human" forces that can cause things to happen means that whatever we do is what we're "supposed to" be doing, rather than what we'd objectively choose to do. In the cartoon, Dogbert says, "I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day long and I assume they deserve it." While I don't imagine anyone would go so far as to believe that, if they actually did what Dogbert refers to, all the potential victims would coincidentally be deserving of whatever they got, IS it possible that we could ever, even occasionally, become purely the tools of karma, in other words acting in such a way as to further karmic goals rather than our own, such that we're not acting out of free will?
That question is slipperier than it 1st appears, because there's more than 1 way to control people; I'll cover both possible "control scenarios" that I currently see, and if I think of more I'll edit them in later. The totally literal way of looking at the free will concept would be to ask if we ever become essentially programmed to act in the way karma (or God or another deity, if you prefer, as the idea is the same) "wants" or "needs" us to, without our own personalities being involved in the choice to act; since we don't hear stories about people inexplicably taking actions contrary to their preferences, I think it's safe to label this one a "no."
But here's the "gray area" way of looking at it; could karma put thoughts into our heads, stimulate our emotions, give us urges, that would impel us towards whatever course of action would best contribute to the achieving of its ends? I don't think there's any way to be sure about this, but I'd say yes; we send out thoughts and emotions into the tapestry of karma all the time, and it's no great stretch to imagine it sending some back. It gets even grayer; since we can CHOOSE whether or not to act on those thoughts, feelings and urges, since we'd HAVE to be choosing, or, again, we'd be hearing about people taking those inexplicable actions, CAN the influence of karma be seen as taking away our free will? And grayer still; since it's very rare for any of us to really think things through and objectively analyze them, particularly when there's any sort of feeling or even whim involved, and equally rare for any of us to succeed in taking action contrary to our urges, doesn't that suggest that, by imbuing us with what amounts to the desire to act a certain way, karma's essentially indirectly "programming" us to do what it wishes, contrary to what our will would have been if we'd been uninfluenced?
If you ARE making thorough objective analyses of the choices you make, you DO have free will by every definition; if you're acting on impulse, or in ways contrary to what you "should" be doing, would be doing if you were really using your head... you could very well be a pawn being moved about by karma to serve its "plans." As always, the choice is yours.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Tech updates and the locker dream
Some of you may have noticed that over the past few days all of my webrings were showing up at the bottom of the page, making it load VERY slowly and distorting the layout such that the sidebar was pushed way over; the folks at Webring seem to have gotten that fixed now, WHEW!!
There's nothing else good to report on the tech front, sadly: Blogger is now declining to respond to my emails, even after I submitted new ones from scratch rather than replying to old ones; the inarguable fact that their latest tech innovation broke my sidebar in some browsers seems of no consequence to them... gee, thanks, guys. Feedster has still never replied to my emails, nor do they seem to have made my feed with them work, nor have they made any of my posts visible in any of the places you can find my new RSS feed in their system. Bloglines, which to their credit DID put some work in to get my subscription screen working again, still hasn't managed to make any of my posts earlier than June 24th visible, or figured out why it's displaying that way.
I had the locker dream last night; the locker itself represents my emotional state, as I learned when in one dream I took book after book out of it, all entitled "Rage" (and I was in fact enraged at the time, at my then-boyfriend), and the central issue of the dream is that other people know my locker combo and might at any time go into my locker, with the result that some or all of my stuff (including the lock) might be missing, and/or new and often odd stuff might have been put in... which probably symbolizes the people in my life who can bother me emotionally, taking away my good feelings and putting in bad ones, now that I think about it, hmmmmmmmm. Anyways, last night there were 2 new elements to this dream:
1) Words were scratched into the paint on the locker door; BIG words that objectively couldn't be put there quickly enough to be finished before the scratcher was spotted. The 1st word was my name, and the 2nd one... I can't remember, and that REALLY bums me out, because this could be something important. As I was pondering the dream and waking up more fully, I thought something like, "Was that an 's' or a 'c'?", but I don't know what word that could mean anything would still be a valid word if you replaced an "s" with a "c", or vice versa, which was the only thing I could come up with for that to refer to... I'll just have to hope I see those words on the locker again soon.
2) The other new thing, which came after I checked inside my locker and all seemed as it should be for a change, was that I looked down at my lock and thought, "If I just had a different lock, I wouldn't have to worry any more." I tried to recall if my family owned another lock, and if so if I knew the combination, then realized that, if I told my parents that someone had gotten my combination and was going into my locker, they'd spend the couple of bucks to get me a new one (not without haranguing me at length about the great trouble and expense I was putting them to because of the huge crime of being unable to prevent some evil little sneak from seeing me enter the combination, but still) to avoid possibly having to replace expensive schoolbooks... and with a new lock, and the understanding that I had to be fanatical about not letting anyone watch me open it, I'd be FREE of the endless stress and anxiety over the locker.
Endless stress and anxiety; yup, that's my life, lol. Unfortunately, I have no idea what the "new lock" translates to in real life, although naturally my 1st thought is that it's some spiritual thing... stay tuned.
There's nothing else good to report on the tech front, sadly: Blogger is now declining to respond to my emails, even after I submitted new ones from scratch rather than replying to old ones; the inarguable fact that their latest tech innovation broke my sidebar in some browsers seems of no consequence to them... gee, thanks, guys. Feedster has still never replied to my emails, nor do they seem to have made my feed with them work, nor have they made any of my posts visible in any of the places you can find my new RSS feed in their system. Bloglines, which to their credit DID put some work in to get my subscription screen working again, still hasn't managed to make any of my posts earlier than June 24th visible, or figured out why it's displaying that way.
I had the locker dream last night; the locker itself represents my emotional state, as I learned when in one dream I took book after book out of it, all entitled "Rage" (and I was in fact enraged at the time, at my then-boyfriend), and the central issue of the dream is that other people know my locker combo and might at any time go into my locker, with the result that some or all of my stuff (including the lock) might be missing, and/or new and often odd stuff might have been put in... which probably symbolizes the people in my life who can bother me emotionally, taking away my good feelings and putting in bad ones, now that I think about it, hmmmmmmmm. Anyways, last night there were 2 new elements to this dream:
1) Words were scratched into the paint on the locker door; BIG words that objectively couldn't be put there quickly enough to be finished before the scratcher was spotted. The 1st word was my name, and the 2nd one... I can't remember, and that REALLY bums me out, because this could be something important. As I was pondering the dream and waking up more fully, I thought something like, "Was that an 's' or a 'c'?", but I don't know what word that could mean anything would still be a valid word if you replaced an "s" with a "c", or vice versa, which was the only thing I could come up with for that to refer to... I'll just have to hope I see those words on the locker again soon.
2) The other new thing, which came after I checked inside my locker and all seemed as it should be for a change, was that I looked down at my lock and thought, "If I just had a different lock, I wouldn't have to worry any more." I tried to recall if my family owned another lock, and if so if I knew the combination, then realized that, if I told my parents that someone had gotten my combination and was going into my locker, they'd spend the couple of bucks to get me a new one (not without haranguing me at length about the great trouble and expense I was putting them to because of the huge crime of being unable to prevent some evil little sneak from seeing me enter the combination, but still) to avoid possibly having to replace expensive schoolbooks... and with a new lock, and the understanding that I had to be fanatical about not letting anyone watch me open it, I'd be FREE of the endless stress and anxiety over the locker.
Endless stress and anxiety; yup, that's my life, lol. Unfortunately, I have no idea what the "new lock" translates to in real life, although naturally my 1st thought is that it's some spiritual thing... stay tuned.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
An important women's health issue
Men, don't get scared off by the title; you have women that you care about, and, although I know that discussion of "female issues" can make you uncomfortable, please try to absorb the ideas in this post, and use them to help the women you love make better decisions about their health care.
Ladies, it's no secret that the medical industry still holds biases against us; women continue to be given tranquilizers and a pat on the head when they seek medical attention because of symptoms that would instantly be seen as suggestive of everything from heart attacks to brain tumors if MEN complained of them... so it's VERY important that we inform our doctors and loved ones (who may be called upon to make medical decisions for us) of our wishes, and that those wishes be based on ALL the facts, including those you'll rarely hear in the doctor's office.
Today, I saw this article
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8785447/
the main point of which is
"Most women getting a hysterectomy should keep their ovaries because the common extra step of removing them seems to do no good and might decrease their long-term survival, researchers report."
and brace yourself for this one
"the work promises to raise questions from women and their doctors about a procedure long accepted despite little evidence to back it."
In other words, the medical establishment, which until very recently was almost entirely male, and is still mostly male, especially in surgical disciplines, has always looked upon female reproductive organs as disposable (with the exception being with younger women who've had no kids or an expressed desire to have more), and has followed the rule of "if it's got a problem, yank it out," and, worse, "if it's got a problem, clean it ALL out," with the rationale always being that it's to the woman's benefit... but with NO studies having been done to PROVE that this radical, wholesale organ removal is in fact valuable to women's health, much less valuable enough to make it a viable option. (Can you imagine the comparable thing being done to MEN, that if a man had a problem in his reproductive system they'd remove his penis, testicles, prostate and other associated glands?)
If you don't believe that surgeons are doing these procedures without evidence to back up their worth, read my post of 6-14-05, which is about an article in Discover magazine in which a doctor reveals that "very little data back up the value of modern treatments like bypass surgery and angioplasty"; unlike medication, for which rigorous testing must PROVE the value (which must be greater than that of a placebo) for it to be approved for use, surgery is just what some doctor thought to do that seemed to work, and then other doctors copied it, with no actual studies being required to verify that these expensive and risk-filled procedures are doing what they're supposed to do ... scary, isn't it?
What we need to keep in mind is that, even after menopause, or after a woman has had all the children she wants, ovaries are NOT a waste product, because they produce hormones that women NEED for their bodies to function normally; furthermore, they've discovered that the uterus produces some hormones, too, and thus is also NOT a superfluous lump of flesh that can be cut out at a whim. Because the standard procedure at most hospitals is to remove female reproductive organs of other than very young women at the slightest provocation, and most doctors buy into that, it's up to every woman to think this issue through and make VERY clear to her doctors and loved ones what her wishes are, to be prepared for an emergency, such as a car wreck, when she might be unable to make her own medical decisions; I've given my own wishes below, in the hopes that they'll inspire other women to make their own lists, and inspire male readers to ask the women they love to do so.
1) My female organs are NOT disposable, and should not be treated as such any more than my heart or lungs would be.
2) Unless my life is in immediate and unquestioned danger (eg from bleeding to death from internal injuries), surgery should NOT be rushed into... and the surgeon would need to make a VERY strong case for the situation being an emergency, because they're infamous for stampeding family members into agreeing to surgeries that are NOT true emergencies.
3) In the likelihood that surgery does NOT have to be done instantly, a 2nd opinion must be sought from a doctor NOT associated in any way with the doctor recommending the surgery (as the sad reality is that doctors will lie to back each other up if they know each other), preferably female and/or young enough to not have fully absorbed the traditional view of "take it all out."
4) Should the necessity of surgery be agreed to, it has to be with the condition that every effort will be made to repair the damage first, rather than going right to removal in the name of expediency (the surgeon can just re-schedule his frigging golf game if necessary), that only those organs inarguably causing the problem should be removed, rather than taking them all "just to be sure," and that, in the case of the ovaries, every attempt MUST be made to leave at least a piece of each one still attached (as they've found that even little pieces of the ovaries can often manage to produce the full levels of hormones).
5) If there's any chance whatsoever that the remaining organs won't produce all the hormones I need for optimum health, tests of my hormone levels should be done as soon as feasible, and, if necessary, hormone replacement started immediately to prevent my body from crashing headlong into premature menopause or other problematic conditions.
Remember; don't ever, EVER place blind faith in doctors, because even the best of them can be behind the times, misinformed, confused, mislead, or have an off day. Gather the facts, educate your loved ones, and FIGHT to get the medical care that's best for you.
Ladies, it's no secret that the medical industry still holds biases against us; women continue to be given tranquilizers and a pat on the head when they seek medical attention because of symptoms that would instantly be seen as suggestive of everything from heart attacks to brain tumors if MEN complained of them... so it's VERY important that we inform our doctors and loved ones (who may be called upon to make medical decisions for us) of our wishes, and that those wishes be based on ALL the facts, including those you'll rarely hear in the doctor's office.
Today, I saw this article
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8785447/
the main point of which is
"Most women getting a hysterectomy should keep their ovaries because the common extra step of removing them seems to do no good and might decrease their long-term survival, researchers report."
and brace yourself for this one
"the work promises to raise questions from women and their doctors about a procedure long accepted despite little evidence to back it."
In other words, the medical establishment, which until very recently was almost entirely male, and is still mostly male, especially in surgical disciplines, has always looked upon female reproductive organs as disposable (with the exception being with younger women who've had no kids or an expressed desire to have more), and has followed the rule of "if it's got a problem, yank it out," and, worse, "if it's got a problem, clean it ALL out," with the rationale always being that it's to the woman's benefit... but with NO studies having been done to PROVE that this radical, wholesale organ removal is in fact valuable to women's health, much less valuable enough to make it a viable option. (Can you imagine the comparable thing being done to MEN, that if a man had a problem in his reproductive system they'd remove his penis, testicles, prostate and other associated glands?)
If you don't believe that surgeons are doing these procedures without evidence to back up their worth, read my post of 6-14-05, which is about an article in Discover magazine in which a doctor reveals that "very little data back up the value of modern treatments like bypass surgery and angioplasty"; unlike medication, for which rigorous testing must PROVE the value (which must be greater than that of a placebo) for it to be approved for use, surgery is just what some doctor thought to do that seemed to work, and then other doctors copied it, with no actual studies being required to verify that these expensive and risk-filled procedures are doing what they're supposed to do ... scary, isn't it?
What we need to keep in mind is that, even after menopause, or after a woman has had all the children she wants, ovaries are NOT a waste product, because they produce hormones that women NEED for their bodies to function normally; furthermore, they've discovered that the uterus produces some hormones, too, and thus is also NOT a superfluous lump of flesh that can be cut out at a whim. Because the standard procedure at most hospitals is to remove female reproductive organs of other than very young women at the slightest provocation, and most doctors buy into that, it's up to every woman to think this issue through and make VERY clear to her doctors and loved ones what her wishes are, to be prepared for an emergency, such as a car wreck, when she might be unable to make her own medical decisions; I've given my own wishes below, in the hopes that they'll inspire other women to make their own lists, and inspire male readers to ask the women they love to do so.
1) My female organs are NOT disposable, and should not be treated as such any more than my heart or lungs would be.
2) Unless my life is in immediate and unquestioned danger (eg from bleeding to death from internal injuries), surgery should NOT be rushed into... and the surgeon would need to make a VERY strong case for the situation being an emergency, because they're infamous for stampeding family members into agreeing to surgeries that are NOT true emergencies.
3) In the likelihood that surgery does NOT have to be done instantly, a 2nd opinion must be sought from a doctor NOT associated in any way with the doctor recommending the surgery (as the sad reality is that doctors will lie to back each other up if they know each other), preferably female and/or young enough to not have fully absorbed the traditional view of "take it all out."
4) Should the necessity of surgery be agreed to, it has to be with the condition that every effort will be made to repair the damage first, rather than going right to removal in the name of expediency (the surgeon can just re-schedule his frigging golf game if necessary), that only those organs inarguably causing the problem should be removed, rather than taking them all "just to be sure," and that, in the case of the ovaries, every attempt MUST be made to leave at least a piece of each one still attached (as they've found that even little pieces of the ovaries can often manage to produce the full levels of hormones).
5) If there's any chance whatsoever that the remaining organs won't produce all the hormones I need for optimum health, tests of my hormone levels should be done as soon as feasible, and, if necessary, hormone replacement started immediately to prevent my body from crashing headlong into premature menopause or other problematic conditions.
Remember; don't ever, EVER place blind faith in doctors, because even the best of them can be behind the times, misinformed, confused, mislead, or have an off day. Gather the facts, educate your loved ones, and FIGHT to get the medical care that's best for you.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
What goes through an evil person's head?
I've posted many times that evil is at its base stupid, and that's why it usually fails; I just saw an example of that from an acquaintance who, not satisfied with getting away with a low level of misbehavior, inexplicably felt driven to wildly escalate their wrongdoing (although that included no possibility of further gains for them), to the point where the requisite authority couldn't help but notice and take disciplinary action... thus losing the evil person all they'd gained through what they'd been doing, that they could probably have kept forever if they'd just shown a little common sense. There's an even more astonishing aspect to the evil person's thought process, though; the way they seem to truly believe that their endless bad behavior is beyond reproach, but that any slightest ill done to them, even by their victims in self-defense, is indicative of hideous wrongdoing and deserving of an abusive or even violent response.
You see extreme versions of this in the movies all the time (as you might have guessed, I saw one such movie tonight); the bad guy is in the process of knocking a woman around preparatory to raping her, killing her or both, and, when she finally manages to get a blow in, he howls, "You f**king bitch!!" and goes into an attack frenzy, as if by making even one tiny effort to thwart his evil intentions she's become the monster and he's become the mistreated victim.
Few of us encounter anything that bad in real life, but most of us have seen the concept in action; the co-worker who steals your ideas at every opportunity and reacts like a rabid dog if you make even the politest protest, the unwelcome individual in your social circle who's always sniffing after everyone's romantic partners but screams accusations at anyone who so much as glances at THEIR partner, the family member who delights in showing up unannounced at everyone's homes at horribly inconvenient times and then demanding to be entertained who acts as if they'd been stabbed through the heart if any of those people show up at THEIR house or expect anything from them.
The sneakiest version of this behavior comes during discussions, arguments and debates, both online and off (well, not sneaky per se, as they do it openly, but sneaky in the sense that the evil one knows that no one notices the process or understands what's going on); the evil, or at the very least sociopathic (there's little difference), person will start using thinly veiled insults and personal remarks, and then, when the victim responds, will point to the self-defense comment and make an issue of how the victim is attacking THEM, picking a fight with them, or whatever, as if no observer's going to have any memory of their, EARLIER, comments... and the truly pitiful and bizarre thing is that usually people DO fail to remember who started it, and even seem unable to re-read earlier forum or message board posts to find out, which is of course what the evil one counts on. If the victim tries to reason with them (which is always a waste of time), and point out what the attacker said previously that was insulting, the attacker will twist it around to look like the victim was overly-sensitive and paranoid, and getting upset over nothing; if the victim tries to suggest that the attacker was making a mountain out of a molehill over what was said to THEM, though, then the idea of over-sensitivity suddenly ceases to exist.
I'm reasonably sure that a little bit of this kind of thing is done in a cold-blooded, planned, manipulative way, as some of the more successful sociopaths treat human interaction like a chess game, but most of the time the evil ones truly do seem convinced that everything they say, however viciously intended, is saintly and pure, and anything aimed against them is a horrible injustice that requires fierce retribution. Where do they GET that sort of warped thinking? It must be a psychological trait, because they all apparently have it; the only thing a good person can do is remember that, while evil types can dish it out, they can't take it... so be ready for their predictably extreme responses, and be prepared to deflect them before they get the better of you.
You see extreme versions of this in the movies all the time (as you might have guessed, I saw one such movie tonight); the bad guy is in the process of knocking a woman around preparatory to raping her, killing her or both, and, when she finally manages to get a blow in, he howls, "You f**king bitch!!" and goes into an attack frenzy, as if by making even one tiny effort to thwart his evil intentions she's become the monster and he's become the mistreated victim.
Few of us encounter anything that bad in real life, but most of us have seen the concept in action; the co-worker who steals your ideas at every opportunity and reacts like a rabid dog if you make even the politest protest, the unwelcome individual in your social circle who's always sniffing after everyone's romantic partners but screams accusations at anyone who so much as glances at THEIR partner, the family member who delights in showing up unannounced at everyone's homes at horribly inconvenient times and then demanding to be entertained who acts as if they'd been stabbed through the heart if any of those people show up at THEIR house or expect anything from them.
The sneakiest version of this behavior comes during discussions, arguments and debates, both online and off (well, not sneaky per se, as they do it openly, but sneaky in the sense that the evil one knows that no one notices the process or understands what's going on); the evil, or at the very least sociopathic (there's little difference), person will start using thinly veiled insults and personal remarks, and then, when the victim responds, will point to the self-defense comment and make an issue of how the victim is attacking THEM, picking a fight with them, or whatever, as if no observer's going to have any memory of their, EARLIER, comments... and the truly pitiful and bizarre thing is that usually people DO fail to remember who started it, and even seem unable to re-read earlier forum or message board posts to find out, which is of course what the evil one counts on. If the victim tries to reason with them (which is always a waste of time), and point out what the attacker said previously that was insulting, the attacker will twist it around to look like the victim was overly-sensitive and paranoid, and getting upset over nothing; if the victim tries to suggest that the attacker was making a mountain out of a molehill over what was said to THEM, though, then the idea of over-sensitivity suddenly ceases to exist.
I'm reasonably sure that a little bit of this kind of thing is done in a cold-blooded, planned, manipulative way, as some of the more successful sociopaths treat human interaction like a chess game, but most of the time the evil ones truly do seem convinced that everything they say, however viciously intended, is saintly and pure, and anything aimed against them is a horrible injustice that requires fierce retribution. Where do they GET that sort of warped thinking? It must be a psychological trait, because they all apparently have it; the only thing a good person can do is remember that, while evil types can dish it out, they can't take it... so be ready for their predictably extreme responses, and be prepared to deflect them before they get the better of you.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Kudos to Dove
Nearly every product marketed to the public in this country uses a narrow, unforgiving standard of female beauty in its advertisements, and that goes double for the ones for products that are meant to help create that beauty; at long, long last, however, a company has dared to create ads using real women rather than the genetic freaks that populate the modeling agencies... not a new, cutting-edge company, but that old standby, Dove.
When I saw the 1st of their new ads, I did a BIG double-take; I'm so used to seeing stick-thin models in every ad that includes full-body shots that my initial reaction was "What're they advertising with the plus-size ladies?", when in fact these lovely women are NOT plus-sized, they're NORMAL... somewhat fitter than average, yes, there's not a tubby tummy or droopy bottom among them, but REAL women with human weight and proportions proudly displayed in white bikinis. Once my viewpoint readjusted, I saw that these gals were the most attractive bunch I'd seen in an ad in ages, maybe ever; I also saw that Dove is probably going to get a serious spike in sales in the near future.
They're calling it the "Campaign for Real Beauty," for which the website is here
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/
You can see the ladies from the ads here
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat3.asp?id=2287
They want to collect a million photos of regular women in our lives that we think are beautiful; you can see some here
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat3.asp?id=2091
and enter a photo here
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/nb/login.cfm
They had a contest to challenge girls aged 11-17 to submit photos of women in their lives and write essays about what makes them truly beautiful; the winning entries are here
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/essay/photo_essay_winners.asp?essayID=10
They've got alot of other stuff too: information, links to click to donate $, polls, discussion forums... and an easy way for every one of us to do our part to help girls of all shapes and sizes feel better about themselves. Go here
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat3.asp?id=3039
and "sign the pledge book," and they'll donate $1 to "uniquely ME! a self-esteem program for young girls." How easy is THAT?
We need to tell our kids and teens of BOTH genders that lots of different kinds of people are beautiful, that THEY are beautiful even if they don't live up to ridiculous standards of perfection, and we need them to hear us praising the attractiveness of regular folks rather than actors and models, and meaning it... AND, we need to be gentler on ourselves and stop sending the message that we're not good enough because we don't look like the folks on the TV screen.
It also wouldn't hurt to buy some Dove products while this campaign is going on, to send the message that you approve of real women being used in advertising rather than size 0 models; the more $ Dove makes right now, the more eager other companies will be to follow their lead.
Bravo to Dove for striking a blow for real women!!
When I saw the 1st of their new ads, I did a BIG double-take; I'm so used to seeing stick-thin models in every ad that includes full-body shots that my initial reaction was "What're they advertising with the plus-size ladies?", when in fact these lovely women are NOT plus-sized, they're NORMAL... somewhat fitter than average, yes, there's not a tubby tummy or droopy bottom among them, but REAL women with human weight and proportions proudly displayed in white bikinis. Once my viewpoint readjusted, I saw that these gals were the most attractive bunch I'd seen in an ad in ages, maybe ever; I also saw that Dove is probably going to get a serious spike in sales in the near future.
They're calling it the "Campaign for Real Beauty," for which the website is here
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/
You can see the ladies from the ads here
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat3.asp?id=2287
They want to collect a million photos of regular women in our lives that we think are beautiful; you can see some here
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat3.asp?id=2091
and enter a photo here
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/nb/login.cfm
They had a contest to challenge girls aged 11-17 to submit photos of women in their lives and write essays about what makes them truly beautiful; the winning entries are here
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/essay/photo_essay_winners.asp?essayID=10
They've got alot of other stuff too: information, links to click to donate $, polls, discussion forums... and an easy way for every one of us to do our part to help girls of all shapes and sizes feel better about themselves. Go here
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/flat3.asp?id=3039
and "sign the pledge book," and they'll donate $1 to "uniquely ME! a self-esteem program for young girls." How easy is THAT?
We need to tell our kids and teens of BOTH genders that lots of different kinds of people are beautiful, that THEY are beautiful even if they don't live up to ridiculous standards of perfection, and we need them to hear us praising the attractiveness of regular folks rather than actors and models, and meaning it... AND, we need to be gentler on ourselves and stop sending the message that we're not good enough because we don't look like the folks on the TV screen.
It also wouldn't hurt to buy some Dove products while this campaign is going on, to send the message that you approve of real women being used in advertising rather than size 0 models; the more $ Dove makes right now, the more eager other companies will be to follow their lead.
Bravo to Dove for striking a blow for real women!!
Monday, August 01, 2005
QAF: only 1 episode left
I came very late to "Queer as Folk" fandom (I didn't even see my 1st episode until about a year ago, when my husband brought me the DVD with the 1st 4 episodes from season 1 from Blockbuster), but I'm as passionate about the series as anyone, and I've been REALLY bummed that the current season will be the last... and this dismay has been steadily growing as the last episode has gotten closer. If you've been watching QAF, you understand how I feel; if not, picture it as a brilliant drama series spiked with comedy and hot sex that just happens to be about gay people... yes, there's social commentary about gay issues, and rightly so, but the central concept is people that you can't help but care about. (It doesn't hurt that there are hunky naked guys in every episode, but that's not really part of why I watch it. Really. No, really.)
You can count the # of TV series that I've seen from beginning to end on the fingers of one hand... I know, it's un-American isn't it, lol? The final episode of QAF, which airs on the 7th, will be the 1st time in my life that I'll be watching a series that I've seen all of end in real time (as opposed to seeing the last episode when the series is in syndication years later, usually totally out of order and not having seen most of the preceding episodes yet, or of course the series just being cancelled with no resolution), and the 1st time I've become really emotionally involved with the characters; I'm eager to see how they've ended it, of course, but truly dreading it BEING the end (yes, I know they might make a movie at some point, but it won't be the same).
I started writing this over an hour ago, and look how little I've written; it's like I've got brain freeze over this, as if maybe if I don't accept that they're ending it it will somehow not be over. My head's all a-buzz trying to figure out how they'll round it up, so maybe I'll just post my best guesses and call it good:
I can't imagine they're going to kill anyone or do any out-of-the-blue breakups of established relationships in the final episode, so Debbie and Carl should be ok, and Michael and Ben (and Hunter), and Jennifer and Tucker... well, she's twice his age, and he's only recently been shown to us even though they've been together 6 months, so I guess they might break up, but I doubt they'll waste any of the final hour on that, so they're probably ok too.
Mel and Linz just reunited, so they'll be together; it looks like Linz convinced Brian to let her take Gus to Canada, so the ladies and the kids will almost certainly be about to move by the end.
Ted's going to realize that his "perfect" new boyfriend is a manipulative jerk, break up with him, and end the series single again but ok with it because he knows he can get other guys now; they just CAN'T end the series with him still with this rotten guy that he barely met, right?
Emmett's going to finish the series single, since he told Drew to go sow his wild oats; I don't see what else they could do with him other than maybe give him a happier ending by getting him his job back at the news station, or some similar sort of job, so he doesn't end the series with nothing.
What matters the most, of course, is what happens with Brian and Justin, and that'll be the focus of the final episode; I think they're NOT going to be riding off together into the sunset as a devoted pair of newlyweds, but instead will be doing more of a "Gift of the Magi" thing... if you don't get that reference, read the classic O. Henry story here
http://www.night.net/christmas/Gift-Magi.html
What they value most is each other, but to be together each of them has to sacrifice who he is; Justin has to give up his big shot at being an artist, and Brian has to give up his debauched lifestyle. Based on what they've already shown, and what little preview they've given, I'd say that, heartbreaking as it is to contemplate, Brian's going to decide that he has to make Justin go to New York to be a big-time artist, and Justin's going to tell Brian to re-build Babylon (which tellingly has NOT been announced as sold yet, nor has Brian's loft/sex den), and go back to doing what he does best.
There's a possible twist to that, though; Brian might decide to move his ad agency to NY, or start a NY branch, give up all shreds of his old life and move there with Justin (although probably not married to him, as marriage just isn't what he's about), so that he and Justin can be together, but still be doing the club thing and hooking up with other guys.
OR, they could go for a really emotional ending, have Justin insist on giving it all up for Brian, and Brian decide to accidentally on purpose get caught in bed with another guy to drive Justin away and make sure he goes to NY... after which he'd go back to his old ways.
Whatever the final score ends up being, I hope they manage to tie everything up in a way that loyal viewers can accept if not love; not a happy ending, but a satisfying one. Check back in a week for my reaction to the end of an era.
You can count the # of TV series that I've seen from beginning to end on the fingers of one hand... I know, it's un-American isn't it, lol? The final episode of QAF, which airs on the 7th, will be the 1st time in my life that I'll be watching a series that I've seen all of end in real time (as opposed to seeing the last episode when the series is in syndication years later, usually totally out of order and not having seen most of the preceding episodes yet, or of course the series just being cancelled with no resolution), and the 1st time I've become really emotionally involved with the characters; I'm eager to see how they've ended it, of course, but truly dreading it BEING the end (yes, I know they might make a movie at some point, but it won't be the same).
I started writing this over an hour ago, and look how little I've written; it's like I've got brain freeze over this, as if maybe if I don't accept that they're ending it it will somehow not be over. My head's all a-buzz trying to figure out how they'll round it up, so maybe I'll just post my best guesses and call it good:
I can't imagine they're going to kill anyone or do any out-of-the-blue breakups of established relationships in the final episode, so Debbie and Carl should be ok, and Michael and Ben (and Hunter), and Jennifer and Tucker... well, she's twice his age, and he's only recently been shown to us even though they've been together 6 months, so I guess they might break up, but I doubt they'll waste any of the final hour on that, so they're probably ok too.
Mel and Linz just reunited, so they'll be together; it looks like Linz convinced Brian to let her take Gus to Canada, so the ladies and the kids will almost certainly be about to move by the end.
Ted's going to realize that his "perfect" new boyfriend is a manipulative jerk, break up with him, and end the series single again but ok with it because he knows he can get other guys now; they just CAN'T end the series with him still with this rotten guy that he barely met, right?
Emmett's going to finish the series single, since he told Drew to go sow his wild oats; I don't see what else they could do with him other than maybe give him a happier ending by getting him his job back at the news station, or some similar sort of job, so he doesn't end the series with nothing.
What matters the most, of course, is what happens with Brian and Justin, and that'll be the focus of the final episode; I think they're NOT going to be riding off together into the sunset as a devoted pair of newlyweds, but instead will be doing more of a "Gift of the Magi" thing... if you don't get that reference, read the classic O. Henry story here
http://www.night.net/christmas/Gift-Magi.html
What they value most is each other, but to be together each of them has to sacrifice who he is; Justin has to give up his big shot at being an artist, and Brian has to give up his debauched lifestyle. Based on what they've already shown, and what little preview they've given, I'd say that, heartbreaking as it is to contemplate, Brian's going to decide that he has to make Justin go to New York to be a big-time artist, and Justin's going to tell Brian to re-build Babylon (which tellingly has NOT been announced as sold yet, nor has Brian's loft/sex den), and go back to doing what he does best.
There's a possible twist to that, though; Brian might decide to move his ad agency to NY, or start a NY branch, give up all shreds of his old life and move there with Justin (although probably not married to him, as marriage just isn't what he's about), so that he and Justin can be together, but still be doing the club thing and hooking up with other guys.
OR, they could go for a really emotional ending, have Justin insist on giving it all up for Brian, and Brian decide to accidentally on purpose get caught in bed with another guy to drive Justin away and make sure he goes to NY... after which he'd go back to his old ways.
Whatever the final score ends up being, I hope they manage to tie everything up in a way that loyal viewers can accept if not love; not a happy ending, but a satisfying one. Check back in a week for my reaction to the end of an era.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Whose opinion about you matters?
This seems like a basic one, but the wide range of answers people give indicates otherwise:
Some people would say "no one's opinion matters"; if you never leave the house, never have contact with other people, and have enough $ to last your lifetime, this might be true, as long as you're paying your taxes and such (otherwise, the opinions of various authorities as to whether you should be arrested will certainly matter)... but that probably doesn't describe anyone interested enough in other people to read blogs, so we'll assume it doesn't apply to you.
Some people would say, or at least seem to think, that everyone's opinion matters; since there's virtually nothing for which everyone has the same opinion, that seems like a crazy-making viewpoint. Even if you narrow it down to those people you actually encounter, or actually interact with, these are mostly people you'll never see again, and have no influence over your life, so why worry about them? I dunno, but folks DO worry about them; these are the people who shy away from dating someone of a different race because total strangers (who're obviously too pitiful to care about) might look at them funny when they went out in public, or are embarrassed if they have to borrow a friend's old clunker car because total strangers on the freeway might turn their noses up at them. Now, granted, if you live in a very small town or sub-community, you might in fact be under a social microscope, with everything you do being reported to everyone within the group whether you know them personally or not, but most people are NOT in that situation, and so really need to stop caring about what idiots they'll never see again might think of them... life's just too short.
Some people would say that the opinion of everyone they know personally matters; I can see being concerned about anyone with actual control over you, such as employers, teachers/professors, parents (for minors and the financially dependent), and sometimes romantic partners (if only one of them controls the purse or access to sex), and there's the issue of loved ones, which I'll get to in a minute, but why stress over anyone else's opinion? You shouldn't, for the most part, but there can be some gray area; most of the folks we know have no power over us or any aspect of our lives, so what they think about us should count for zero, BUT, if any of those people dislike or disapprove of us, and have contact with people who DO have power over us, such that they might, for example, bad-mouth us to the boss at promotion time, or pass on vicious gossip to that hottie we're hoping to date, that could be problematic... which is why we should always take care to not blow off steam at, or misbehave around, or mistreat even on our worst day, people we don't know well, as that forms their entire opinion of us. Now, granted, that opinion will probably never matter, but better safe than sorry; once you've made sure that no reasonable person who could do you a disservice would feel like they had reason to do so, you can pretty much forget about them... if they don't like your hairstyle, or your shoes, or what sort of music you prefer, so what?
Some people think that the opinion of everyone they care about matters, in fact MOST people would say that; I can understand wanting the approval of your loved ones, although I don't personally care about that, and of course you don't want their overall opinion of you to become so bad that they eject you from their lives (unless it means that they're bad people for feeling as they do about your choices, which is a whole different essay), and obviously your quality of life can be affected if those closest to you don't like what you're doing or how you're doing it, but for most things... their opinion of you really shouldn't matter. If, say, one of your friends is a chef, their opinion on your cooking would matter because they have expertise in that area, but in general your loved ones will NOT be experts in any of the areas in which they render judgment, so their opinions about most aspects of your life shouldn't count for any more than random ones picked out of a hat; just because they're close to you shouldn't give them any authority to decide the rightness of your choices. Heck, even in those areas where their opinion of you strongly affects your life (this'll mostly be from parents if you're young and romantic partners if you're older), that should only affect what you decide to do to keep the peace, not how you think or feel about it.
I can imagine the horrified gasps at the very thought of not treasuring the opinions of loved ones, but there it is, and yes, I live by that; although I'll ask for people's opinions about the things I do, wear, etc, when necessary out of politeness, and feign the proper amount of interest in their answers, if someone doesn't have substantial knowledge or background on the subject, or if it's a totally subjective issue, it doesn't matter to me what their opinion is, and, if what they think or feel isn't going to lead to a negative impact on my life, I don't take their opinions into account when making decisions... and I hope they have the sense to view MY opinions of THEM the same way (although since this seems to be another human-nature thing they probably don't), because it doesn't matter one bit to their lives what *I* think.
So, whose opinions of me DO matter to me? There's a handful of people that I know well, and respect, whose opinions about the intellectual and spiritual things that I come up with, and what sort of person I am, matter to me, but other than that there's honestly not much. The view of me held by anyone who has the power to decide my fate in any way matters (for example, the opinion of a cop about my driving matters, since I don't want any tickets), but these days it's rare for anyone to hold any sort of power over me... I'm lucky that way. If I give someone a gift, their opinion about my gift-picking ability matters for the obvious reason. Anyone who's an established expert would have opinions that matter to me in their area of expertise, but I've yet to meet, say, an interior decorator who might voice an opinion on my decorating schemes, so that one's just theoretical. And... I think that's it.
Now it's your turn; ask yourself whose opinion of YOU you're concerned about. Then, ask yourself which of those people's opinions you actually NEED to care about, or it would be of value to you to care about, and under what circumstances... and prepare for a big surge of relief when you realize how little you really need to concern yourself about what everyone else thinks of you.
Some people would say "no one's opinion matters"; if you never leave the house, never have contact with other people, and have enough $ to last your lifetime, this might be true, as long as you're paying your taxes and such (otherwise, the opinions of various authorities as to whether you should be arrested will certainly matter)... but that probably doesn't describe anyone interested enough in other people to read blogs, so we'll assume it doesn't apply to you.
Some people would say, or at least seem to think, that everyone's opinion matters; since there's virtually nothing for which everyone has the same opinion, that seems like a crazy-making viewpoint. Even if you narrow it down to those people you actually encounter, or actually interact with, these are mostly people you'll never see again, and have no influence over your life, so why worry about them? I dunno, but folks DO worry about them; these are the people who shy away from dating someone of a different race because total strangers (who're obviously too pitiful to care about) might look at them funny when they went out in public, or are embarrassed if they have to borrow a friend's old clunker car because total strangers on the freeway might turn their noses up at them. Now, granted, if you live in a very small town or sub-community, you might in fact be under a social microscope, with everything you do being reported to everyone within the group whether you know them personally or not, but most people are NOT in that situation, and so really need to stop caring about what idiots they'll never see again might think of them... life's just too short.
Some people would say that the opinion of everyone they know personally matters; I can see being concerned about anyone with actual control over you, such as employers, teachers/professors, parents (for minors and the financially dependent), and sometimes romantic partners (if only one of them controls the purse or access to sex), and there's the issue of loved ones, which I'll get to in a minute, but why stress over anyone else's opinion? You shouldn't, for the most part, but there can be some gray area; most of the folks we know have no power over us or any aspect of our lives, so what they think about us should count for zero, BUT, if any of those people dislike or disapprove of us, and have contact with people who DO have power over us, such that they might, for example, bad-mouth us to the boss at promotion time, or pass on vicious gossip to that hottie we're hoping to date, that could be problematic... which is why we should always take care to not blow off steam at, or misbehave around, or mistreat even on our worst day, people we don't know well, as that forms their entire opinion of us. Now, granted, that opinion will probably never matter, but better safe than sorry; once you've made sure that no reasonable person who could do you a disservice would feel like they had reason to do so, you can pretty much forget about them... if they don't like your hairstyle, or your shoes, or what sort of music you prefer, so what?
Some people think that the opinion of everyone they care about matters, in fact MOST people would say that; I can understand wanting the approval of your loved ones, although I don't personally care about that, and of course you don't want their overall opinion of you to become so bad that they eject you from their lives (unless it means that they're bad people for feeling as they do about your choices, which is a whole different essay), and obviously your quality of life can be affected if those closest to you don't like what you're doing or how you're doing it, but for most things... their opinion of you really shouldn't matter. If, say, one of your friends is a chef, their opinion on your cooking would matter because they have expertise in that area, but in general your loved ones will NOT be experts in any of the areas in which they render judgment, so their opinions about most aspects of your life shouldn't count for any more than random ones picked out of a hat; just because they're close to you shouldn't give them any authority to decide the rightness of your choices. Heck, even in those areas where their opinion of you strongly affects your life (this'll mostly be from parents if you're young and romantic partners if you're older), that should only affect what you decide to do to keep the peace, not how you think or feel about it.
I can imagine the horrified gasps at the very thought of not treasuring the opinions of loved ones, but there it is, and yes, I live by that; although I'll ask for people's opinions about the things I do, wear, etc, when necessary out of politeness, and feign the proper amount of interest in their answers, if someone doesn't have substantial knowledge or background on the subject, or if it's a totally subjective issue, it doesn't matter to me what their opinion is, and, if what they think or feel isn't going to lead to a negative impact on my life, I don't take their opinions into account when making decisions... and I hope they have the sense to view MY opinions of THEM the same way (although since this seems to be another human-nature thing they probably don't), because it doesn't matter one bit to their lives what *I* think.
So, whose opinions of me DO matter to me? There's a handful of people that I know well, and respect, whose opinions about the intellectual and spiritual things that I come up with, and what sort of person I am, matter to me, but other than that there's honestly not much. The view of me held by anyone who has the power to decide my fate in any way matters (for example, the opinion of a cop about my driving matters, since I don't want any tickets), but these days it's rare for anyone to hold any sort of power over me... I'm lucky that way. If I give someone a gift, their opinion about my gift-picking ability matters for the obvious reason. Anyone who's an established expert would have opinions that matter to me in their area of expertise, but I've yet to meet, say, an interior decorator who might voice an opinion on my decorating schemes, so that one's just theoretical. And... I think that's it.
Now it's your turn; ask yourself whose opinion of YOU you're concerned about. Then, ask yourself which of those people's opinions you actually NEED to care about, or it would be of value to you to care about, and under what circumstances... and prepare for a big surge of relief when you realize how little you really need to concern yourself about what everyone else thinks of you.
