Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Harry Potter's penis and other odd bits
While surfing blogs last week, I came across a photo of a cute naked guy leaning up against a horse; you see porn pics all the time online, and normally I ignore them, but my attention was caught because the central element of the pic was uncircumcised, which as an American woman I'm not used to. My "What the heck is THAT? Oh, yeah, right" reaction gave me time to see the accompanying text... claiming that the photo was of Daniel Radcliffe, the actor who plays Harry Potter. He looks so different with his hair shorter and bangs-free that I hadn't recognized him, but a closer look verified that the face WAS his... what about the body, though? The post said that he's currently starring in the play "Equus" in London, and that, as required by the role, he appears nude in one scene; a little research verified that this was indeed the case (not having been born yesterday, I don't automatically believe what I read on blogs), and turned up many reproductions of a group of promotional photos he'd done for the play, including the one I'd seen... but always cropped short of revealing anything, er, reproductive. Further research revealed that speculation's rampant as to whether the X-rated part of the photo is faked, so I asked my husband, who's a skilled retoucher, to look at it; he said that, while an expert with sufficient time and determination might be able to do almost anything, it'd be awfully unlikely that the trickster would've bothered to add a shadowy outline of the horse's foreleg (behind Radcliffe's legs) which is only visible if you put the pic in Photoshop and "crank up the gamma," so... either one of those guys you hear about who specializes in doing this sort of thing (normally with female celebs) did a surreally perfect job, or it's real. Time will tell.
Wondering why I haven't given you the URL to the photo, so you can judge for yourself? If it's real, it's child pornography under American law, as Radcliffe is 17, and even if it's fake I don't want to potentially help pedophiles find a pic they'll THINK is of an underage boy. And where does UK law stand in all this? The age of consent in the UK is 16, but, if Wikipedia is correct, the Sexual Offences Act 2003 included images of 16-17 year olds in the legal definition of child pornography; clearly, public nudity in a theater doesn't count as pornographic, since he's doing it, but how does the law apply to images promoting plays? I hope some British blogger will post about this, because I've got no idea how to find out; either way, Radcliffe is to be congratulated for being willing to bare all on stage to prove conclusively that there's more to him than just everyone's favorite wizard.
Scott Adams has made another brilliant point about the behavior of the turds of the world, in the Dilbert comic of 3-1-07... and since he revealed in a recent post on his blog that he uses some Google service that sends him an email every time a new post is made about him so that he can check it out, let me say; Hi Scott, nice to see you, I post on your blog as "Omni" and am such a big fan that I got my husband Dilbert boxers. Anyways, the comic is here
http://dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20070301.html
In it, Dilbert asks what I assume is someone from marketing, "Do your estimates include tax and shipping?" and she replies "Relax, relax, calm down. There's no need to go all nuts about the tax and shipping. It's under control. Take a deep breath." It's right out of the manipulator's handbook; if you want to stop a conversation from going along its current lines, usually because it's an argument and you're losing but it can be anything you're uncomfortable with, throw a comment at the other person that'll make them react defensively, so that the topic becomes about THEM rather than whatever you didn't like. Accusing them of being upset is the standard ploy, because not only is it difficult to disprove it but the longer they try to the more likely it becomes that they'll GET upset and make it look like you were right... and the less likely that they'll ever go back to the topic that dismayed you.
I saw a hilarious movie that I'd never heard of before, a mockumentary called "Farce of the Penguins"
http://www.blockbuster.com:80/online/catalog/movieDetails?movieId=284673
It's full of sexual and bodily-function humor, provided by some of the funniest people in the world, to go with what's supposed to just be stock footage of penguins; that doesn't make it sound anywhere near as great as it is, so just trust me and watch this wickedly funny story of a shy penguin trying to get some "penguin booty."
And lastly: A few nights ago, my husband and I were having one of those nonsensical conversations that're common with long-time marrieds, and as all too often happens he produced some protracted flatulence; when I yelped "Do you know how disgusting you are?!!" he replied by holding up 8 fingers... and then rotating his hands sideways. When I exclaimed in astonishment at his cleverness (an 8 on its side is the symbol for infinity), he expressed pleasure that I'd gotten it instantly; when I smugly asked if he was aware of how amazing his wife is... he did the 8-finger thing again.
That almost made up for when we were at our friends' house the previous weekend, and he went into the room adjoining the one we were all in, without even a door between them, and farted loudly, much to their horror and my mortification; like a 3 year old, he somehow thought that if we couldn't see him we couldn't HEAR him. Marriage, as I always say, is GROSS... but it also has its moments.
Wondering why I haven't given you the URL to the photo, so you can judge for yourself? If it's real, it's child pornography under American law, as Radcliffe is 17, and even if it's fake I don't want to potentially help pedophiles find a pic they'll THINK is of an underage boy. And where does UK law stand in all this? The age of consent in the UK is 16, but, if Wikipedia is correct, the Sexual Offences Act 2003 included images of 16-17 year olds in the legal definition of child pornography; clearly, public nudity in a theater doesn't count as pornographic, since he's doing it, but how does the law apply to images promoting plays? I hope some British blogger will post about this, because I've got no idea how to find out; either way, Radcliffe is to be congratulated for being willing to bare all on stage to prove conclusively that there's more to him than just everyone's favorite wizard.
Scott Adams has made another brilliant point about the behavior of the turds of the world, in the Dilbert comic of 3-1-07... and since he revealed in a recent post on his blog that he uses some Google service that sends him an email every time a new post is made about him so that he can check it out, let me say; Hi Scott, nice to see you, I post on your blog as "Omni" and am such a big fan that I got my husband Dilbert boxers. Anyways, the comic is here
http://dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20070301.html
In it, Dilbert asks what I assume is someone from marketing, "Do your estimates include tax and shipping?" and she replies "Relax, relax, calm down. There's no need to go all nuts about the tax and shipping. It's under control. Take a deep breath." It's right out of the manipulator's handbook; if you want to stop a conversation from going along its current lines, usually because it's an argument and you're losing but it can be anything you're uncomfortable with, throw a comment at the other person that'll make them react defensively, so that the topic becomes about THEM rather than whatever you didn't like. Accusing them of being upset is the standard ploy, because not only is it difficult to disprove it but the longer they try to the more likely it becomes that they'll GET upset and make it look like you were right... and the less likely that they'll ever go back to the topic that dismayed you.
I saw a hilarious movie that I'd never heard of before, a mockumentary called "Farce of the Penguins"
http://www.blockbuster.com:80/online/catalog/movieDetails?movieId=284673
It's full of sexual and bodily-function humor, provided by some of the funniest people in the world, to go with what's supposed to just be stock footage of penguins; that doesn't make it sound anywhere near as great as it is, so just trust me and watch this wickedly funny story of a shy penguin trying to get some "penguin booty."
And lastly: A few nights ago, my husband and I were having one of those nonsensical conversations that're common with long-time marrieds, and as all too often happens he produced some protracted flatulence; when I yelped "Do you know how disgusting you are?!!" he replied by holding up 8 fingers... and then rotating his hands sideways. When I exclaimed in astonishment at his cleverness (an 8 on its side is the symbol for infinity), he expressed pleasure that I'd gotten it instantly; when I smugly asked if he was aware of how amazing his wife is... he did the 8-finger thing again.
That almost made up for when we were at our friends' house the previous weekend, and he went into the room adjoining the one we were all in, without even a door between them, and farted loudly, much to their horror and my mortification; like a 3 year old, he somehow thought that if we couldn't see him we couldn't HEAR him. Marriage, as I always say, is GROSS... but it also has its moments.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
How to never be wrong
I learned this skill the hard way; I came from an abusive family where wrongness was seen as incontrovertible proof of moral failing and absolute worthlessness, so I figured out at an early age how to stop being wrong in self-defense. Don't worry, it's easier than it looks; heck, 95% of wrongness can be eliminated by just following the 1st rule:
1) If you don't know anything about a topic, DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
We have such an intense desire to be seen as one of the group that when the conversation switches to something we know nothing about we have the overwhelming urge to keep babbling; this goes x10 if someone asks us directly about it and suddenly we're in the spotlight. If you try to say something that sounds like what the others have said, or that you THINK is somehow related to the topic, you've got a reasonable chance of getting away with it, which is why everyone does it... but every time you do it you take a major risk of being wrong.
2) Remember that knowing a little about a topic is NOT the same as knowing ALL about it.
It's SO tempting to extrapolate from what you DO know and try to make it seem like your expertise is far greater than it actually is; the payoff is being admired for being so knowledgeable... but the downside is that anyone who knows more than you do can slam you for being wrong.
3) Refrain from arguing an issue with someone who knows more about it than you, OR is quoting someone who does.
If you disagree with someone who knows more, it's almost certain that you're wrong, no matter how POSITIVE you are of your rightness. If you can't bear leaving their assertions unchallenged, say something like "Ok, I'm confused now-let's look it up"; that way, if the other person's right, you won't be wrong because you never SAID anything to the contrary.
And; the wisdom of those who know more than you stays the same when they're being quoted. It shouldn't even be necessary to say that, but all too often someone will argue vehemently against the words of experts because the person they're arguing with is NOT an expert, which they believe in some misty way cancels out the experts' authority.
4) Understand that using "I feel" does NOT shield you from being wrong.
Some folks think that, since "feelings are never wrong," if they preface their comments with "I feel" they won't be disputed... but it just ain't so. First of all, if you follow "I feel" with anything other than an EMOTION you're automatically wrong; secondly, "I feel" doesn't magically prevent people from seeing and calling you on your wrongness.
5) Understand that phrasing something as an opinion doesn't shield you either.
As with "I feel," some folks think that stating something as an opinion means they can't be contradicted; in reality, if there are facts about an issue, and you speak contrary to them, it changes nothing if your statement was framed as an opinion... you're still wrong, no matter how long you've held the opinion or how strongly you feel about it.
6) If you're not sure you got your info from an expert, quote your source rather than using that info as facts.
You hear about something on a blog, in a magazine, from your brother, etc, and later on when someone brings up that topic you repeat whatever you heard as if it were a fact... but if it's NOT, you're now wrong. Instead of passing on such info as if you were relaying facts, say "Some blogger/a magazine/my brother SAID..."; the blogger, magazine or brother may be shown to be wrong, but YOU are NOT wrong... all you did was quote someone.
7) Be honest with yourself about the quality of your memory.
Do an objective analysis as to how good your memory is, both long and short term, in general and about specific things like names and dates, and use that analysis to judge the likelihood that what you're about to give as factual info might be misremembered; if you're not 100% sure your memory can be trusted for that fact, say that, while you think it MIGHT be X, it also might NOT be X so you need to double-check... and whatever the true answer is, you never made a claim so you're not wrong.
8) Remember that some facts change over time.
For things like the current scientific dogma or the "news" about if celebrity X is pregnant or just gaining weight (if you read science magazines you know that the former changes even more than the latter), say "The last thing I heard/read about that was..."; that way, if the facts are different now, you're not wrong... you just told what you heard or read.
9) Don't label differing opinions as "wrong."
A real opinion, in other words on a topic where there's no factually-provable right answer, CAN'T be wrong... and if you say it is, YOU are wrong. No matter how strongly you feel about YOUR opinion, just say you disagree, and that's it.
10) Think twice before attempting to prove someone wrong.
If you get to this point, you've challenged the other person's assertion and they've held firm, which suggests that they think they've got facts to back it up; assuming they're not an idiot, you likely have a 50% chance of being wrong... why take the risk?
Anyone can do this stuff, but virtually no one does, so if YOU adopt these strategies you'll have an edge when trying to impress people... and in marriage, hehehehehe.
1) If you don't know anything about a topic, DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
We have such an intense desire to be seen as one of the group that when the conversation switches to something we know nothing about we have the overwhelming urge to keep babbling; this goes x10 if someone asks us directly about it and suddenly we're in the spotlight. If you try to say something that sounds like what the others have said, or that you THINK is somehow related to the topic, you've got a reasonable chance of getting away with it, which is why everyone does it... but every time you do it you take a major risk of being wrong.
2) Remember that knowing a little about a topic is NOT the same as knowing ALL about it.
It's SO tempting to extrapolate from what you DO know and try to make it seem like your expertise is far greater than it actually is; the payoff is being admired for being so knowledgeable... but the downside is that anyone who knows more than you do can slam you for being wrong.
3) Refrain from arguing an issue with someone who knows more about it than you, OR is quoting someone who does.
If you disagree with someone who knows more, it's almost certain that you're wrong, no matter how POSITIVE you are of your rightness. If you can't bear leaving their assertions unchallenged, say something like "Ok, I'm confused now-let's look it up"; that way, if the other person's right, you won't be wrong because you never SAID anything to the contrary.
And; the wisdom of those who know more than you stays the same when they're being quoted. It shouldn't even be necessary to say that, but all too often someone will argue vehemently against the words of experts because the person they're arguing with is NOT an expert, which they believe in some misty way cancels out the experts' authority.
4) Understand that using "I feel" does NOT shield you from being wrong.
Some folks think that, since "feelings are never wrong," if they preface their comments with "I feel" they won't be disputed... but it just ain't so. First of all, if you follow "I feel" with anything other than an EMOTION you're automatically wrong; secondly, "I feel" doesn't magically prevent people from seeing and calling you on your wrongness.
5) Understand that phrasing something as an opinion doesn't shield you either.
As with "I feel," some folks think that stating something as an opinion means they can't be contradicted; in reality, if there are facts about an issue, and you speak contrary to them, it changes nothing if your statement was framed as an opinion... you're still wrong, no matter how long you've held the opinion or how strongly you feel about it.
6) If you're not sure you got your info from an expert, quote your source rather than using that info as facts.
You hear about something on a blog, in a magazine, from your brother, etc, and later on when someone brings up that topic you repeat whatever you heard as if it were a fact... but if it's NOT, you're now wrong. Instead of passing on such info as if you were relaying facts, say "Some blogger/a magazine/my brother SAID..."; the blogger, magazine or brother may be shown to be wrong, but YOU are NOT wrong... all you did was quote someone.
7) Be honest with yourself about the quality of your memory.
Do an objective analysis as to how good your memory is, both long and short term, in general and about specific things like names and dates, and use that analysis to judge the likelihood that what you're about to give as factual info might be misremembered; if you're not 100% sure your memory can be trusted for that fact, say that, while you think it MIGHT be X, it also might NOT be X so you need to double-check... and whatever the true answer is, you never made a claim so you're not wrong.
8) Remember that some facts change over time.
For things like the current scientific dogma or the "news" about if celebrity X is pregnant or just gaining weight (if you read science magazines you know that the former changes even more than the latter), say "The last thing I heard/read about that was..."; that way, if the facts are different now, you're not wrong... you just told what you heard or read.
9) Don't label differing opinions as "wrong."
A real opinion, in other words on a topic where there's no factually-provable right answer, CAN'T be wrong... and if you say it is, YOU are wrong. No matter how strongly you feel about YOUR opinion, just say you disagree, and that's it.
10) Think twice before attempting to prove someone wrong.
If you get to this point, you've challenged the other person's assertion and they've held firm, which suggests that they think they've got facts to back it up; assuming they're not an idiot, you likely have a 50% chance of being wrong... why take the risk?
Anyone can do this stuff, but virtually no one does, so if YOU adopt these strategies you'll have an edge when trying to impress people... and in marriage, hehehehehe.
