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Neko

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Another hair-raising "coincidence" 


Before I forget: I wrote a post yesterday and saved it as a draft. It'll make sense why I've done this when I post it, but I don't know when that will be yet. Soon, though, I think.

Today's "coincidence": I saw a StumbleUpon URL in my referral log today:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/refer.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fomniverse.blogspot.com%2F2006_09_01_archive.html

I don't get much traffic from them, but some reader(s) added a handful of my archive pages on there years ago and I get the occasional hit. The odd thing today was that the page it led to

http://omniverse.blogspot.com/2006_09_01_archive.html

is NOT one of those old familiar ones, which means that either someone added a new one, for a 3 year old page, after all this time, or that this is the first time anyone used one that was posted long ago... pretty odd either way. The message on the StumbleUpon page is:

"Your page is on StumbleUpon

One of our members added your page to the Anarchism topic on StumbleUpon.
Each time our members who are interested in Anarchism "stumble upon" your page using our toolbar, it will record an entry on your referral logs."

Anarchism is NOT one of my topics, in fact that word has NEVER been used on my blog, not even in its root form "anarchy" (I checked), so I wanted to see what had inspired the URL-adder to choose that term... and for the record, I think it's a HUGE stretch to connect it to anything on that page, but maybe it was the best of bad choices amongst topic categories. Anyways, so I'm scanning through the posts on that page, one of which is:

"Wednesday, September 20, 2006
God was in the shower"

Under other circumstances I'd have skipped past it as not being a possible source of the "Anarchism" label, but with the possibility of religious conversion hanging in the air I read it... including the part AFTER the discussion of the dream described in the title:


"My aforementioned religious friend tells me that I'm special to God, in that He has endowed me with the ability to figure out how He's set things up (aka karma, which she sees as having been created by God as a tool to carry out His will), and that He's attempting to guide me via my spiritual quest to the point where I can perceive and embrace Him; because of the free will deal, He can't "force himself on me" to make me believe (does that tie into Him being naked and alone with me in the dream with no hint of sex in the air? hmmmmmmmmmmm), but if I can analyze my way into believing in Him then He'll have won a great victory... yeah, it sounds ridiculous to ME, too, but she's one of those folks who claims to have a close personal relationship with God, and I accept that she's got a grip on SOMETHING powerful after all the years I've observed her, although there's no evidence that it's a deity rather than an instinctive ability to manipulate the forces of karma... Anyways, she and my other Christian friends assure me that these "religious" dreams, which most BELIEVERS don't even have much less "heathens," are indicative of either God trying to persuade me or my subconscious mind signaling me about the truth that I know deep down; naturally, I resist these ideas, but have no logical explanation for why I periodically dream about a deity I don't believe in and generally don't give much thought to.

What's the change God was going to make to the universe? What kind of change could possibly affect everyone EXCEPT me? I can't think of anything... BUT, my PERCEPTION could change radically and cause me to SEE everything in a different way-is this another "spiritual makeover" symbol?

And, ending up in the museum gift shop... where you go AFTER you went through the museum and saw and learned stuff... ANOTHER symbol of some sort of spiritual breakthrough?

Ok, sure, great... so where's my big epiphany? Or even a small one? Well, I guess if I discovered that there really is a God it'd have to be a BIG epiphany... and it'd mess me up some, but at least I'd KNOW, and it'd save me a great deal of time and effort. If He's out there, can't He give me a better sign than these weird dreams?"


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have 47 Archive pages (it'll be 48 once this gets posted), so that makes the chance that a random StumbleUpon URL, assuming that there might be one for any page, would be to the page with the post that's quoted above, is... about 2%. And the chance that said URL would be a first-timer after all these years, AND occur right in the middle of what might be that "spiritual makeover" in progress, is... what? One in a thousand? One in a million? Even if I believed in coincidences, which I DON'T, this would rock me back on my heels...

ANARCHISM!! I can't believe I'm just now seeing it!! That word is a MAJOR tie-in with... the subject of many of the other huge "coincidences" I've had in recent history, which is where I started getting the feeling of being "helped," and in fact there was a BIG, direct connection with that word in my life YESTERDAY, how fuzzy-headed have I gotten that the word didn't EXPLODE off the screen the moment I saw it?!! If God IS watching me, He's probably slapped His forehead (metaphorically speaking) and groaned loudly several times as He waited for the rusty gears in my weary brain to turn until I made the VERY OBVIOUS connection. How can I possibly make any spiritual progress, with God or in general, if I'm going to be this DENSE? How many other connections have I missed? AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!

Ok, ok, it doesn't matter, if God is involved He'll send as many messages as necessary to achieve His goal of... whatever it is, as He'll know He needs to send more if... that's assuming that paying attention and understanding the messages isn't part of being WORTHY of receiving... {sigh}

The "coincidences" are getting thick on the ground. I wish that I wasn't so stressed and exhausted that I'm not feeling the sense of wonder that I undoubtedly SHOULD be feeling at this point...





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