Friday, January 29, 2010
Unconditional love
A comment left on yesterday's post on my spiritual blog
by "alongriver" about how God loves us unconditionally got me thinking. Does it say that in the Bible? The answer appears to be no, but a Google search led me (via a reference at the bottom of the Wikipedia page on the topic, and I NEVER read the list of references) to this article:
http://www.infoniac.com/science/scientists-unveil-the-mysteries-of-unconditional-love.html
"The lead-researcher of the team from Montreal University's centre for research into neurophysiology and cognition, professor Mario Beauregard, said: "Unconditional love, extended to others without exception, is considered to be one of the highest expressions of spirituality. However, nothing has been known regarding its neural underpinnings until now."
The evolutionary theory states that people should feel the emotions of unconditional love for parents and children, meaning those who transmit our genes to next generations. But in real life we may experience unconditional love towards people with whom we have no "blood" connection.
In order to discover why this happens, the lead researcher decided to use magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) on assistants who were paid the least but who took care of people with learning difficulties. These assistants served as examples of people who have the ability to feel unconditional love.
During the MRI, subjects were asked to call to mind feelings of unconditional love. Researches saw 7 active areas in the brain. Three of those areas were similar to regions in the brain that became active when it came to romantic love. The other four were different, which means that the feeling of love for someone without the need of being rewarded is different from the feeling of romantic love."
This seemed particularly meaningful to me because my most religious friend takes care of people with learning difficulties; it had the feel of karma in action. I tried to see how this counted as a religious revelation and thus something to write about... and then it hit me. WHY do we connect unconditional love with "the highest expressions of spirituality"? The answer that came to me is: it's not that feeling unwavering love for murderers and pedophiles is somehow laudatory, it's that at least one, and perhaps all, of the parts of the brain that become active while feeling unconditional love (and aren't connected with regular love) are involved in connecting with karma and/or God, and thus that those who feel unconditional love for everyone have ended up becoming deeply spiritually connected consistently enough that we've evolved the belief that that kind of person is especially spiritual.
But more important than understanding the connection between the typical perception of unconditional lovers and super-spirituality is the inescapable (at least to ME) idea that feeling unconditional love for everyone (or at least alot of the people alot of the time) is a way to directly stimulate/activate the part(s) of the brain that can connect you to karma and/or God.
That's HUGE!!
I decided, for no reason that I can point to looking back on it (since after all the article is describing SCIENCE, not philosophy, and what the researchers found is what they found no matter who reports on it) to see if this article had been posted on a recognized news site (it had, in the UK), and this title for one of the top search results froze me in my tracks (since "Omni" is my blogging name):
"Unconditional Love - Omni Love - tribe.net"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The URL of that result was this one:
http://tribes.tribe.net/omni_love/thread/24bb7c0a-6168-4fb8-a8ee-1d2fbd21741f
and this was in fact a thread of this section:
http://tribes.tribe.net/omni_love
I don't believe in coincidences, doubly so when I have urges to do things I can't explain that lead to the coincidental-seeming events; this has the ring of truth to me.
by "alongriver" about how God loves us unconditionally got me thinking. Does it say that in the Bible? The answer appears to be no, but a Google search led me (via a reference at the bottom of the Wikipedia page on the topic, and I NEVER read the list of references) to this article:
http://www.infoniac.com/science/scientists-unveil-the-mysteries-of-unconditional-love.html
"The lead-researcher of the team from Montreal University's centre for research into neurophysiology and cognition, professor Mario Beauregard, said: "Unconditional love, extended to others without exception, is considered to be one of the highest expressions of spirituality. However, nothing has been known regarding its neural underpinnings until now."
The evolutionary theory states that people should feel the emotions of unconditional love for parents and children, meaning those who transmit our genes to next generations. But in real life we may experience unconditional love towards people with whom we have no "blood" connection.
In order to discover why this happens, the lead researcher decided to use magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) on assistants who were paid the least but who took care of people with learning difficulties. These assistants served as examples of people who have the ability to feel unconditional love.
During the MRI, subjects were asked to call to mind feelings of unconditional love. Researches saw 7 active areas in the brain. Three of those areas were similar to regions in the brain that became active when it came to romantic love. The other four were different, which means that the feeling of love for someone without the need of being rewarded is different from the feeling of romantic love."
This seemed particularly meaningful to me because my most religious friend takes care of people with learning difficulties; it had the feel of karma in action. I tried to see how this counted as a religious revelation and thus something to write about... and then it hit me. WHY do we connect unconditional love with "the highest expressions of spirituality"? The answer that came to me is: it's not that feeling unwavering love for murderers and pedophiles is somehow laudatory, it's that at least one, and perhaps all, of the parts of the brain that become active while feeling unconditional love (and aren't connected with regular love) are involved in connecting with karma and/or God, and thus that those who feel unconditional love for everyone have ended up becoming deeply spiritually connected consistently enough that we've evolved the belief that that kind of person is especially spiritual.
But more important than understanding the connection between the typical perception of unconditional lovers and super-spirituality is the inescapable (at least to ME) idea that feeling unconditional love for everyone (or at least alot of the people alot of the time) is a way to directly stimulate/activate the part(s) of the brain that can connect you to karma and/or God.
That's HUGE!!
I decided, for no reason that I can point to looking back on it (since after all the article is describing SCIENCE, not philosophy, and what the researchers found is what they found no matter who reports on it) to see if this article had been posted on a recognized news site (it had, in the UK), and this title for one of the top search results froze me in my tracks (since "Omni" is my blogging name):
"Unconditional Love - Omni Love - tribe.net"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The URL of that result was this one:
http://tribes.tribe.net/omni_love/thread/24bb7c0a-6168-4fb8-a8ee-1d2fbd21741f
and this was in fact a thread of this section:
http://tribes.tribe.net/omni_love
I don't believe in coincidences, doubly so when I have urges to do things I can't explain that lead to the coincidental-seeming events; this has the ring of truth to me.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
The Bad Thing is FIXED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Almost 2 months ago, I wrote the following and saved it as a draft:
"After a month of stress and anxiety with no progress seeming to be made, suddenly it's been resolved; my $ and my income stream have been restored. The way it happened seems almost... magical. I never even needed to argue the issue directly, it just got to the right person and *POOF* it was suddenly fixed. I asked for it to be fixed... and it has been. In a way that, while not TOTALLY unheard of in the annals of trying to get those who've screwed up to make good, is so unlikely that if you tried to write it into a book or movie script the powers that be would require it to be changed to something more believable.
Does that mean that God intervened on my behalf? Do I have proof that would stand up in a court of law? No. Do I have anything that most people couldn't dismiss as a chain of amazing coincidences coupled with blind luck, wishful thinking and tricks being played by my admittedly muddled mind? No. Using the best analysis I can come up with, based on a lifetime of experiences with the unknown, do *I* believe that the only explanation that covers all the bases is divine intervention?
Yes.
That makes this one of the biggest days of my life. It changes everything. It's a whole new ball game; I'll spend the rest of my life figuring out how to play. I'll keep you posted.
As I'm writing this, it's 12-1. You'll notice that that's not the date on this post; it'll be saved as a draft, and published... I don't know when yet, but you can see the date and time since you're reading it. Why have I done this crazy thing? I suddenly had the urge to write it, just as it stands, write it as a fait accompli and save it to be used... soon, I just feel that I'll need it SOON. I felt the urge to write that The Bad Thing was suddenly fixed, today, when NO visible progress has been made. I don't know where the urge came from, but I'm going with it; I've learned to do that much over the years, when I was crediting everything that resulted to karma.
I read in Oprah's magazine tonight about a time she asked God "What would you have me do?" and He answered her. I immediately went outside, faced into the darkness, and asked Him the same thing. After I came back inside, I had this urge, and followed it.
And now I wait... with a growing hope in my heart."
Obviously I was overly optimistic about the time frame; I'm not the patient type, and assumed that being certain it would be fixed meant that it would be fixed right away.
It WAS fixed in a way that seems magical and improbable; although I NEVER got to talk to anyone at the offending company about the issue in the nearly 3 MONTHS this dragged out, NEVER got any info from them, never got any evidence that anyone was even getting my messages other than the miraculous arrival of a CHECK from them as reported on 1-6, suddenly I got an email today that had been generated by my account on their site... yes, there's now a functioning account again, which means that TBT is FIXED!!
It seemed impossible 2 months ago that I'd NEVER get to talk to anyone, that NO ONE at that company would ever pick up the phone at their desk, and even more impossible that, after they hurled accusations at me and told me that they'd never change their minds and to never contact them again, I could POSSIBLY get this handled without having to discuss, debate, plead my case, SOMETHING... would YOU ever in a million years think that you could get a situation like this rectified without ever finding out what had gone wrong much less been given a chance to fix it? My... inspiration... of 12-1 as to the freakish way this would end was ridiculous but RIGHT; I'm satisfied that DIVINE inspiration, not to mention intervention, took place here.
Also: In my post of 1-1 I said:
"... I was preparing to put birthdays and such on my new calendar, opened it to January and thought with satisfaction, out of the blue, "THIS is the month that TBT was fixed""
Today, when I got up I thought "I'm almost out of January, so it HAS to happen SOON"... and then today was the day.
I'm stunned and grateful. As promised, I'll now be focusing more on my attempts to understand the nature of God. When I remembered that I'd promised to do so, into my mind dropped the idea that I should take a few minutes every day and see if anything presents itself to be posted about; I don't know if this came from God or not, but it's a good way to fulfill my promise so I'm going to do it. Depending on what I get and how often, I'll probably post most of these insights just on my spiritual blog rather than on both blogs; time will tell.
"After a month of stress and anxiety with no progress seeming to be made, suddenly it's been resolved; my $ and my income stream have been restored. The way it happened seems almost... magical. I never even needed to argue the issue directly, it just got to the right person and *POOF* it was suddenly fixed. I asked for it to be fixed... and it has been. In a way that, while not TOTALLY unheard of in the annals of trying to get those who've screwed up to make good, is so unlikely that if you tried to write it into a book or movie script the powers that be would require it to be changed to something more believable.
Does that mean that God intervened on my behalf? Do I have proof that would stand up in a court of law? No. Do I have anything that most people couldn't dismiss as a chain of amazing coincidences coupled with blind luck, wishful thinking and tricks being played by my admittedly muddled mind? No. Using the best analysis I can come up with, based on a lifetime of experiences with the unknown, do *I* believe that the only explanation that covers all the bases is divine intervention?
Yes.
That makes this one of the biggest days of my life. It changes everything. It's a whole new ball game; I'll spend the rest of my life figuring out how to play. I'll keep you posted.
As I'm writing this, it's 12-1. You'll notice that that's not the date on this post; it'll be saved as a draft, and published... I don't know when yet, but you can see the date and time since you're reading it. Why have I done this crazy thing? I suddenly had the urge to write it, just as it stands, write it as a fait accompli and save it to be used... soon, I just feel that I'll need it SOON. I felt the urge to write that The Bad Thing was suddenly fixed, today, when NO visible progress has been made. I don't know where the urge came from, but I'm going with it; I've learned to do that much over the years, when I was crediting everything that resulted to karma.
I read in Oprah's magazine tonight about a time she asked God "What would you have me do?" and He answered her. I immediately went outside, faced into the darkness, and asked Him the same thing. After I came back inside, I had this urge, and followed it.
And now I wait... with a growing hope in my heart."
Obviously I was overly optimistic about the time frame; I'm not the patient type, and assumed that being certain it would be fixed meant that it would be fixed right away.
It WAS fixed in a way that seems magical and improbable; although I NEVER got to talk to anyone at the offending company about the issue in the nearly 3 MONTHS this dragged out, NEVER got any info from them, never got any evidence that anyone was even getting my messages other than the miraculous arrival of a CHECK from them as reported on 1-6, suddenly I got an email today that had been generated by my account on their site... yes, there's now a functioning account again, which means that TBT is FIXED!!
It seemed impossible 2 months ago that I'd NEVER get to talk to anyone, that NO ONE at that company would ever pick up the phone at their desk, and even more impossible that, after they hurled accusations at me and told me that they'd never change their minds and to never contact them again, I could POSSIBLY get this handled without having to discuss, debate, plead my case, SOMETHING... would YOU ever in a million years think that you could get a situation like this rectified without ever finding out what had gone wrong much less been given a chance to fix it? My... inspiration... of 12-1 as to the freakish way this would end was ridiculous but RIGHT; I'm satisfied that DIVINE inspiration, not to mention intervention, took place here.
Also: In my post of 1-1 I said:
"... I was preparing to put birthdays and such on my new calendar, opened it to January and thought with satisfaction, out of the blue, "THIS is the month that TBT was fixed""
Today, when I got up I thought "I'm almost out of January, so it HAS to happen SOON"... and then today was the day.
I'm stunned and grateful. As promised, I'll now be focusing more on my attempts to understand the nature of God. When I remembered that I'd promised to do so, into my mind dropped the idea that I should take a few minutes every day and see if anything presents itself to be posted about; I don't know if this came from God or not, but it's a good way to fulfill my promise so I'm going to do it. Depending on what I get and how often, I'll probably post most of these insights just on my spiritual blog rather than on both blogs; time will tell.
Monday, January 25, 2010
"CHERRIES IN WINTER: My Family's Recipe for Hope in Hard Times" by Suzan Colón
The fine folks at Smile.ly sent me a free copy of a lovely book, "CHERRIES IN WINTER: My Family's Recipe for Hope in Hard Times" by Suzan Colón:
"Wise, warm and written with self-deprecation and wit, Suzan Colón CHERRIES IN WINTER: My Family's Recipe for Hope in Hard Times (Doubleday; November 3, 2009) is an inspiring gem of a memoir about three generations of women who find solace in their kitchen when the hard times hit.."
I read voraciously, and so was excited to get a book, especially one written by a woman; I enjoyed Colón's vision of how strength can be passed between the generations through something as humble and basic as recipes. To read more about the book, or to join Smile.ly and get your own cool free stuff, go here:
http://smile.ly/952.cfm
"Wise, warm and written with self-deprecation and wit, Suzan Colón CHERRIES IN WINTER: My Family's Recipe for Hope in Hard Times (Doubleday; November 3, 2009) is an inspiring gem of a memoir about three generations of women who find solace in their kitchen when the hard times hit.."
I read voraciously, and so was excited to get a book, especially one written by a woman; I enjoyed Colón's vision of how strength can be passed between the generations through something as humble and basic as recipes. To read more about the book, or to join Smile.ly and get your own cool free stuff, go here:
http://smile.ly/952.cfm
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Another shower epiphany
(Would you believe that it never occurred to me that these repeated brushes with Divinity keep happening in the shower in part because my subconscious mind has internalized the old "cleanliness is next to Godliness" line, and thus gives me the urge to try to connect with Him while bathing, until my friend TOLD me? I hate missing obvious connections like that...)
During last night's shower, I tried asking God to "fill me up" again, intending to embrace rather than analyze the experience this time; part of me thought that it was too soon, that one shouldn't be QUITE so needy and demanding with the Almighty, nor expect Him to produce semi-miraculous events at overly frequent intervals, but the part of me that was anxious to do it RIGHT won out. I went several rounds of asking, and each time felt SOMETHING, but not overwhelmingly like last time; I tried to focus in on it without my brain churning madly, which was VERY difficult and probably counterproductive to the goal of just feeling it since I was as focused on blocking analysis as I'd been on making the analysis, sigh.
I felt like maybe He wasn't willing to give me the whole deal because I'm still not able to abandon myself to it like a normal person could, or that maybe He had even given up on me because of my inability to accept His gift as I should have... ridiculous to think He'd give up on me so easily after the YEARS He spent just trying to get my attention, but I'm so used to approval being conditional on perfect performance that that's how my brain works. These thoughts should have brought on a wave of grief, and I was actually bracing myself for it, but it didn't happen; panic or anxiety would be my other fallback emotions, but they didn't come either. I continued to feel calm, and like something was halfway going on, but I couldn't let myself trust the feeling because it wasn't bowling me over like last time... after all I've been through, I'm still afraid of falling into the trap of interpreting every flicker and twitch as being from God. That's a foolish attitude under the circumstances, when I should be straining to catch His every message, but skepticism is natural for me and He knows that.
Unsure of whether He was with me or not, I finally asked "Is it You?"
(it is)
"IS IT YOU?!!"
(it is)
Even the most fervent believer wouldn't see THAT as meaningful; your brain is skilled at saying what you want to hear, right? My idea at that point was to ask the question and then say "It isn't" to myself inside my head, to see if it... I don't know exactly, felt different I guess. What happened sounds crazy, even to ME, but I'm going to report it anyways and you can make of it what you will.
Have you ever had dreams where you were trying to talk but your mouth wouldn't work right and the words wouldn't come out, or you were trying to think and the words in your head just kept slipping or fading away? I was wide awake, standing in the shower with my eyes open, but that's what I started experiencing; I'd say "Is it You?" either in my head or out loud, and then try to form the words "It isn't" in my head... and the 2nd word refused to form. I'd get the "is" sound fine, but the "n't" wouldn't come. I'd TRY to make the sound, and I'd fade away for a second, or, it was like when you've had a body part fall asleep and you try to move it but it won't respond, as if I couldn't "remember" how to make the other sounds, or I'd end up with "is............UNT" or "is........n.....T"... everything EXCEPT a normal sounding word. I should have felt freaked out, or had the creeps, but that didn't happen; I just kept making determined efforts to say "Is it You?" followed by "It isn't" inside my head. In literally DOZENS of iterations, I think managed a decent-sounding "isn't" a couple of times, but that was it, no matter how hard I tried.
Why did I keep trying long after it was clear what was going on? Because, after all I've been through, I still have that neurotic need to keep checking, to be SURE, sure that I'm not imagining things, going crazy or kidding myself.
So; yes, God was with me, and revealed Himself in a new way. And yes, God can get into your mind, directly affect your mind, and effortlessly override your will, even in your own head. Another major revelation about His nature; hopefully, the next one will be about how to welcome Him in on a regular basis, which, with my affinity for words, may be the easiest path to deepening my relationship with Him.
During last night's shower, I tried asking God to "fill me up" again, intending to embrace rather than analyze the experience this time; part of me thought that it was too soon, that one shouldn't be QUITE so needy and demanding with the Almighty, nor expect Him to produce semi-miraculous events at overly frequent intervals, but the part of me that was anxious to do it RIGHT won out. I went several rounds of asking, and each time felt SOMETHING, but not overwhelmingly like last time; I tried to focus in on it without my brain churning madly, which was VERY difficult and probably counterproductive to the goal of just feeling it since I was as focused on blocking analysis as I'd been on making the analysis, sigh.
I felt like maybe He wasn't willing to give me the whole deal because I'm still not able to abandon myself to it like a normal person could, or that maybe He had even given up on me because of my inability to accept His gift as I should have... ridiculous to think He'd give up on me so easily after the YEARS He spent just trying to get my attention, but I'm so used to approval being conditional on perfect performance that that's how my brain works. These thoughts should have brought on a wave of grief, and I was actually bracing myself for it, but it didn't happen; panic or anxiety would be my other fallback emotions, but they didn't come either. I continued to feel calm, and like something was halfway going on, but I couldn't let myself trust the feeling because it wasn't bowling me over like last time... after all I've been through, I'm still afraid of falling into the trap of interpreting every flicker and twitch as being from God. That's a foolish attitude under the circumstances, when I should be straining to catch His every message, but skepticism is natural for me and He knows that.
Unsure of whether He was with me or not, I finally asked "Is it You?"
(it is)
"IS IT YOU?!!"
(it is)
Even the most fervent believer wouldn't see THAT as meaningful; your brain is skilled at saying what you want to hear, right? My idea at that point was to ask the question and then say "It isn't" to myself inside my head, to see if it... I don't know exactly, felt different I guess. What happened sounds crazy, even to ME, but I'm going to report it anyways and you can make of it what you will.
Have you ever had dreams where you were trying to talk but your mouth wouldn't work right and the words wouldn't come out, or you were trying to think and the words in your head just kept slipping or fading away? I was wide awake, standing in the shower with my eyes open, but that's what I started experiencing; I'd say "Is it You?" either in my head or out loud, and then try to form the words "It isn't" in my head... and the 2nd word refused to form. I'd get the "is" sound fine, but the "n't" wouldn't come. I'd TRY to make the sound, and I'd fade away for a second, or, it was like when you've had a body part fall asleep and you try to move it but it won't respond, as if I couldn't "remember" how to make the other sounds, or I'd end up with "is............UNT" or "is........n.....T"... everything EXCEPT a normal sounding word. I should have felt freaked out, or had the creeps, but that didn't happen; I just kept making determined efforts to say "Is it You?" followed by "It isn't" inside my head. In literally DOZENS of iterations, I think managed a decent-sounding "isn't" a couple of times, but that was it, no matter how hard I tried.
Why did I keep trying long after it was clear what was going on? Because, after all I've been through, I still have that neurotic need to keep checking, to be SURE, sure that I'm not imagining things, going crazy or kidding myself.
So; yes, God was with me, and revealed Himself in a new way. And yes, God can get into your mind, directly affect your mind, and effortlessly override your will, even in your own head. Another major revelation about His nature; hopefully, the next one will be about how to welcome Him in on a regular basis, which, with my affinity for words, may be the easiest path to deepening my relationship with Him.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Fiber One yogurt news
The fine folks of Safeway (Dominick’s, Tom Thumb, Randalls, Vons, Genuardi’s), Fiber One and MyBlogSpark have sent me the following info:
"Best-selling author and food expert Lisa Lillien, AKA Hungry Girl, has given her “seal of approval” to the new Fiber One yogurt, the only leading nonfat yogurt with 50 calories and 5 grams of fiber (20 percent of the Recommended Daily Value). It is also a good source of calcium and vitamins A and D, making this a guilt-free and all-around great choice for dieters and those watching their weights. Each cup includes the creamy, delicious taste you expect from Yoplait, and you don’t have to feel guilty about enjoying it. Fiber One is available in a variety of flavors including, Strawberry, Peach, Vanilla and Key Lime Pie (see what Hungry Girl thinks about the new yogurt here):
http://hungry-girl.com/news/newsdetails.php?isid=1772 "
And an alert to a pretty smokin' deal:
"from January 13th through February 9th, the Safeway family of stores has a special deal where you can purchase two 4-packs of Fiber One yogurt for only $4!"
If you're still sticking to your New Year's resolutions to lose weight and eat more fiber, it's time to stock up.
"Best-selling author and food expert Lisa Lillien, AKA Hungry Girl, has given her “seal of approval” to the new Fiber One yogurt, the only leading nonfat yogurt with 50 calories and 5 grams of fiber (20 percent of the Recommended Daily Value). It is also a good source of calcium and vitamins A and D, making this a guilt-free and all-around great choice for dieters and those watching their weights. Each cup includes the creamy, delicious taste you expect from Yoplait, and you don’t have to feel guilty about enjoying it. Fiber One is available in a variety of flavors including, Strawberry, Peach, Vanilla and Key Lime Pie (see what Hungry Girl thinks about the new yogurt here):
http://hungry-girl.com/news/newsdetails.php?isid=1772 "
And an alert to a pretty smokin' deal:
"from January 13th through February 9th, the Safeway family of stores has a special deal where you can purchase two 4-packs of Fiber One yogurt for only $4!"
If you're still sticking to your New Year's resolutions to lose weight and eat more fiber, it's time to stock up.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
A new feeling, success and failure
I was talking to God in the shower yesterday (it seems to be becoming a habit), and I asked him to allow me to feel joy again like He had before... and then found myself asking instead to feel His presence, His love, for Him to fill me up so I wouldn't be an empty shell emotionally like I so often am. I felt something starting, and was assuming it'd be some version of the joy He'd given me before, but it was different. I felt... overwhelmed, although nothing had happened for me to be overwhelmed BY, I didn't feel emotion and then get overwhelmed by it, I went right to feeling overwhelmed. I felt breathless, although I was breathing normally, and an attempt at a deep breath worked normally, so I was in no way actually short of breath or having breathing problems. I felt a little light-headed and dizzy, a little disoriented; I had to steady myself against the shower door when I turned around. As I typically have to do when I have strong feelings, I was trying to analyze it and figure out WHAT I was feeling; as when I had the "joy experiences," I noted that I had none of the undercurrent of jitteriness and anxiety that always accompanies all but my most trivial emotional states.
It has only belatedly occurred to me as I'm writing this that I SHOULD have been saying something appropriate like "Is that You? Is it really You?" or "I feel You!!" or... SOMETHING to make that connection complete... I should have given myself over to it rather than analyzing it... can't you envision God slapping His (metaphorical) forehead and groaning "What a dork!!"? {sigh} Assuming He allows me another shot at this, and given His extraordinary patience with me all the YEARS He waited for me to finally respond to His knocking by opening the door I think He will, I'll try to react more like a sane person SHOULD when...
Well, when WHAT? What WAS that I was feeling? I don't know. It went on for at least 5 minutes, during which I remember saying several times "I'm overwhelmed, but I accept that, I can handle it, please let me keep feeling it." It was either a strong emotion I've never previously experienced (some version of religious ecstasy I have to assume), or an emotion-like physical response to... in fact being "filled" by God. I tried to analyze it, and failed, which makes it even worse that I didn't try to embrace the feeling and connect with Him... which makes me want to slap MY forehead and groan.
So: He's still with me, He's still trying to connect with me... but my inexperience in dealing with matters both religious and intensely emotional is making it a bit of a rocky road.
It has only belatedly occurred to me as I'm writing this that I SHOULD have been saying something appropriate like "Is that You? Is it really You?" or "I feel You!!" or... SOMETHING to make that connection complete... I should have given myself over to it rather than analyzing it... can't you envision God slapping His (metaphorical) forehead and groaning "What a dork!!"? {sigh} Assuming He allows me another shot at this, and given His extraordinary patience with me all the YEARS He waited for me to finally respond to His knocking by opening the door I think He will, I'll try to react more like a sane person SHOULD when...
Well, when WHAT? What WAS that I was feeling? I don't know. It went on for at least 5 minutes, during which I remember saying several times "I'm overwhelmed, but I accept that, I can handle it, please let me keep feeling it." It was either a strong emotion I've never previously experienced (some version of religious ecstasy I have to assume), or an emotion-like physical response to... in fact being "filled" by God. I tried to analyze it, and failed, which makes it even worse that I didn't try to embrace the feeling and connect with Him... which makes me want to slap MY forehead and groan.
So: He's still with me, He's still trying to connect with me... but my inexperience in dealing with matters both religious and intensely emotional is making it a bit of a rocky road.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
And the winner is...
The winner of the "Souper You Debut" gift pack from MyBlogSpark and Progresso is... Cindy Q!!
Stay tuned for more goodies to win!!
Stay tuned for more goodies to win!!
Friday, January 08, 2010
Free will?
When I asked God for further insights a few days ago, here's what came up:
Does it actually say anywhere in the Bible that we're supposed to have free will? TOTAL free will? ANY free will? I found this
http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/contra/free.html
Did they miss something major? Or, is the idea of free will and the evil it creates actually the invention of some pope, as the 7 Deadly Sins were, rather than being biblical?
God hardened Pharaoh's heart in Exodus, right? (Making it harder for His own team is a little grim, not to mention contrary, since He was also smiting Egypt with wonders to make Pharaoh let Moses and his bunch go.) That sure sounds like the OPPOSITE of free will to ME, in fact the smiting was too, if a little indirectly.
As described in my post of 1-1, my friend and I were reasonably certain that her 4 hour nap, without which she didn't think she would've been much good for the talk we had, was in response to my request earlier that day for God to give her the understanding, insight, etc she'd need to help me, asked of Him with the comment that if she'd known what was coming she would've asked for that for herself. If someone had asked her if she wanted to take a 4 hour nap, or suggested that she SHOULD take a 4 hour nap, or ANY nap, with guests in her home, she wouldn't have agreed to do it, so... if God did whatever to her that led to the nap, a nap that was contrary to what her will was at the time... wasn't that affecting her free will?
And if God is willing to affect the free will of others AT ALL in response to a request, that's BIG... and we then have to be VERY careful what we ask for and in what words when other people are involved. Doubly so if karma, which, if I'm right, works pretty much independently of God's "conscious thought," is at all involved with this sort of wish fulfillment, because karma is a blind force, and if its current "program" is to help person X that might give X the ability to cause some unintended trouble by asking for the wrong thing.
If something bad had happened because my friend was asleep rather than keeping track of the guests... that would've been partly MY fault, which is something I REALLY need to consider before asking for God to "help" anyone for my benefit again!!
After pondering a while, this is what I think: There are 2 possible meanings to "free will" in a religious sense; free will as opposed to predestination, and free will meaning God doesn't try to make you act any particular way. Assuming that the Bible is a reliable source as to basic God stuff (which it may well NOT be, but it's all I have to go on right now besides my own experiences), it's clear that there's so little that can even be stretched to be about free will vs predestination that it's not reasonable to make a call, and since it shows God using His influence without ever saying that He WON'T, it's undeniable that He DOES influence people contrary to what their will would be... at least some of the time to some degree.
I think that if you're on His good side, and are still willing to make a best effort to handle your own stuff, He might influence others on your behalf if you ask... but be VERY careful what you ask for, because if what you ask for would cause harm I'm betting that'd turn out badly for YOU.
Does it actually say anywhere in the Bible that we're supposed to have free will? TOTAL free will? ANY free will? I found this
http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/contra/free.html
Did they miss something major? Or, is the idea of free will and the evil it creates actually the invention of some pope, as the 7 Deadly Sins were, rather than being biblical?
God hardened Pharaoh's heart in Exodus, right? (Making it harder for His own team is a little grim, not to mention contrary, since He was also smiting Egypt with wonders to make Pharaoh let Moses and his bunch go.) That sure sounds like the OPPOSITE of free will to ME, in fact the smiting was too, if a little indirectly.
As described in my post of 1-1, my friend and I were reasonably certain that her 4 hour nap, without which she didn't think she would've been much good for the talk we had, was in response to my request earlier that day for God to give her the understanding, insight, etc she'd need to help me, asked of Him with the comment that if she'd known what was coming she would've asked for that for herself. If someone had asked her if she wanted to take a 4 hour nap, or suggested that she SHOULD take a 4 hour nap, or ANY nap, with guests in her home, she wouldn't have agreed to do it, so... if God did whatever to her that led to the nap, a nap that was contrary to what her will was at the time... wasn't that affecting her free will?
And if God is willing to affect the free will of others AT ALL in response to a request, that's BIG... and we then have to be VERY careful what we ask for and in what words when other people are involved. Doubly so if karma, which, if I'm right, works pretty much independently of God's "conscious thought," is at all involved with this sort of wish fulfillment, because karma is a blind force, and if its current "program" is to help person X that might give X the ability to cause some unintended trouble by asking for the wrong thing.
If something bad had happened because my friend was asleep rather than keeping track of the guests... that would've been partly MY fault, which is something I REALLY need to consider before asking for God to "help" anyone for my benefit again!!
After pondering a while, this is what I think: There are 2 possible meanings to "free will" in a religious sense; free will as opposed to predestination, and free will meaning God doesn't try to make you act any particular way. Assuming that the Bible is a reliable source as to basic God stuff (which it may well NOT be, but it's all I have to go on right now besides my own experiences), it's clear that there's so little that can even be stretched to be about free will vs predestination that it's not reasonable to make a call, and since it shows God using His influence without ever saying that He WON'T, it's undeniable that He DOES influence people contrary to what their will would be... at least some of the time to some degree.
I think that if you're on His good side, and are still willing to make a best effort to handle your own stuff, He might influence others on your behalf if you ask... but be VERY careful what you ask for, because if what you ask for would cause harm I'm betting that'd turn out badly for YOU.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
One A Day VitaCraves Complete Adult Multivitamin Gummies
I joined a cool site called Smile.ly, and they, together with One A Day, sent me a free bottle of One A Day VitaCraves Complete Adult Multivitamin Gummies to try.
Eating a gummy is much nicer than popping a pill, and these are pretty tasty. It's also easier to get pill-hating family members to eat a gummy rather than taking a regular vitamin; my husband is very resistant to taking supplements, but he chewed these up willingly. I'll be using the coupon they also sent me when the bottle runs out; if you want to get your own coupon, or to join Smile.ly and get your own products to try, go here.
Eating a gummy is much nicer than popping a pill, and these are pretty tasty. It's also easier to get pill-hating family members to eat a gummy rather than taking a regular vitamin; my husband is very resistant to taking supplements, but he chewed these up willingly. I'll be using the coupon they also sent me when the bottle runs out; if you want to get your own coupon, or to join Smile.ly and get your own products to try, go here.
New goodies from Progresso
The fine folks at MyBlogSpark and Progresso are at it again!! First off, there's a contest:
"Celebrate the New Year and a new you with Progresso Light and 100 Calorie Soups because from January 4 through March 15th, you and your readers can visit
www.Progresso.com/SouperYou
to enter the Progresso "Souper You Debut" contest for the chance to win a full makeover in New York City.
Three grand prize winners will be awarded a trip for two to New York City from May 21st-23rd. The prize includes roundtrip airfare, a two-night stay in a NYC hotel, a full makeover, a $1,000 wardrobe shopping spree and personal consultation at a New York department store.
To enter, you´ll need to do the following:
Go to www.Progresso.com/SouperYou to learn more and enter the contest
Submit your essay (200 characters or less) telling Progresso why you love Progresso Light or 100 Calorie Soups and why you would like a makeover
In addition, please submit a photo of yourself that visually reinforces the theme of your essay
Once you enter, you´ll have the chance for your photo and/or an excerpt from your essay to appear on www.Progresso.com/SouperYou, so be sure to check back frequently! Once the 10 finalists are announced, you can visit www.Progresso.com/SouperYou from March 29 through April 12 to vote for your favorite.
In addition, throughout the duration of the contest you can visit
www.Progresso.com/SouperYou
to download a coupon for $1 off any three varieties of Progresso Soup!
With surprisingly hearty ingredients like pasta, beans, corn and rice, and flavor-packed vegetables like tomatoes, carrots, and peppers, Progresso Light and 100 Calorie Soups offer varieties with a good source of fiber and a full serving of vegetables. Satisfying your taste buds, Progresso Light and 100 Calories Soups can help curb your hunger, making it easier for you to stick to your weight management plan."
They sent me a "Souper You Debut" gift pack that had 15 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) cans of several different varieties of the Progresso Light and 100 Calorie Soups, as well as a Progresso digital jump rope that keeps track of jumps and calories burned and a Progresso soup mug.
They've also provided a gift pack that contains the mug, jump rope and two cans of Progresso Soup to give away to one of you; whoever sends me the most creative idea for a new soup will get it. I'll post the winner by the end of the weekend.
My husband and I have already been slurping soup; I can tell you that the chicken and dumpling one doesn't taste like it's lower in calories, and he has declared the french onion to be a great mixer with rice. A battle may ensue over the pot roast one... wonder who'll win THAT, lol? However chilly the weather gets, the Omni household will be blissfully adrift on a warm sea of Progresso... :-)
"Celebrate the New Year and a new you with Progresso Light and 100 Calorie Soups because from January 4 through March 15th, you and your readers can visit
www.Progresso.com/SouperYou
to enter the Progresso "Souper You Debut" contest for the chance to win a full makeover in New York City.
Three grand prize winners will be awarded a trip for two to New York City from May 21st-23rd. The prize includes roundtrip airfare, a two-night stay in a NYC hotel, a full makeover, a $1,000 wardrobe shopping spree and personal consultation at a New York department store.
To enter, you´ll need to do the following:
Go to www.Progresso.com/SouperYou to learn more and enter the contest
Submit your essay (200 characters or less) telling Progresso why you love Progresso Light or 100 Calorie Soups and why you would like a makeover
In addition, please submit a photo of yourself that visually reinforces the theme of your essay
Once you enter, you´ll have the chance for your photo and/or an excerpt from your essay to appear on www.Progresso.com/SouperYou, so be sure to check back frequently! Once the 10 finalists are announced, you can visit www.Progresso.com/SouperYou from March 29 through April 12 to vote for your favorite.
In addition, throughout the duration of the contest you can visit
www.Progresso.com/SouperYou
to download a coupon for $1 off any three varieties of Progresso Soup!
With surprisingly hearty ingredients like pasta, beans, corn and rice, and flavor-packed vegetables like tomatoes, carrots, and peppers, Progresso Light and 100 Calorie Soups offer varieties with a good source of fiber and a full serving of vegetables. Satisfying your taste buds, Progresso Light and 100 Calories Soups can help curb your hunger, making it easier for you to stick to your weight management plan."
They sent me a "Souper You Debut" gift pack that had 15 (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) cans of several different varieties of the Progresso Light and 100 Calorie Soups, as well as a Progresso digital jump rope that keeps track of jumps and calories burned and a Progresso soup mug.
They've also provided a gift pack that contains the mug, jump rope and two cans of Progresso Soup to give away to one of you; whoever sends me the most creative idea for a new soup will get it. I'll post the winner by the end of the weekend.
My husband and I have already been slurping soup; I can tell you that the chicken and dumpling one doesn't taste like it's lower in calories, and he has declared the french onion to be a great mixer with rice. A battle may ensue over the pot roast one... wonder who'll win THAT, lol? However chilly the weather gets, the Omni household will be blissfully adrift on a warm sea of Progresso... :-)
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
A miracle?
The Bad Thing has been partially solved!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today, a MONTH after the last email I got from the company involved (which not only gave me no answers about MY FRIGGING $ that they had confiscated or my future income stream but literally said to not contact them again), a month during which there was no reply to any of my calls or emails, a CHECK came from them... for every penny they owed me PLUS an extra * 50% *!! No letter, no explanation, just the check.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember my wondering how I'd know if God helped me with TBT (as I asked Him to at the start of this whole spiritual conversion) or if it got solved as a logical result of my own efforts? Well, technically, I haven't gotten a chance to MAKE any efforts on my behalf, all I've been doing is steadily emailing and calling people at that office telling them that they've acted in error and to please respond telling me what the f*** HAPPENED so I can rebut their claims and get the issue hashed out, I haven't had even ONE discussion with anyone about the problem yet, or been able to make any kind of case in my messages to them because I don't know what their attempts to screw me have been based on... and yet here out of the blue is a check for 50% more than they owed me... and if that isn't indicative of God having a hand in this I don't know what could be, short of the check being delivered by a chariot full of angels.
The overall issue hasn't been dealt with, I verified that on their website, but getting my $ is BIG. I have no idea what events at their office led to this, or why they didn't CONTACT me and TELL me that they were sending $, or if the extra $ is meant to compensate me for my struggles, bribe me into dropping the issue, or is maybe just an accounting error in my favor... but whichever it is, it's nothing short of miraculous.
Today, a MONTH after the last email I got from the company involved (which not only gave me no answers about MY FRIGGING $ that they had confiscated or my future income stream but literally said to not contact them again), a month during which there was no reply to any of my calls or emails, a CHECK came from them... for every penny they owed me PLUS an extra * 50% *!! No letter, no explanation, just the check.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Remember my wondering how I'd know if God helped me with TBT (as I asked Him to at the start of this whole spiritual conversion) or if it got solved as a logical result of my own efforts? Well, technically, I haven't gotten a chance to MAKE any efforts on my behalf, all I've been doing is steadily emailing and calling people at that office telling them that they've acted in error and to please respond telling me what the f*** HAPPENED so I can rebut their claims and get the issue hashed out, I haven't had even ONE discussion with anyone about the problem yet, or been able to make any kind of case in my messages to them because I don't know what their attempts to screw me have been based on... and yet here out of the blue is a check for 50% more than they owed me... and if that isn't indicative of God having a hand in this I don't know what could be, short of the check being delivered by a chariot full of angels.
The overall issue hasn't been dealt with, I verified that on their website, but getting my $ is BIG. I have no idea what events at their office led to this, or why they didn't CONTACT me and TELL me that they were sending $, or if the extra $ is meant to compensate me for my struggles, bribe me into dropping the issue, or is maybe just an accounting error in my favor... but whichever it is, it's nothing short of miraculous.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
And the winner is...
The winner of the MyBlogSpark and Old El Paso "Tackle the Taste" gift pack is... Terri M!!
If you didn't win, don't worry; there'll be lots more prizes in the coming months.
If you didn't win, don't worry; there'll be lots more prizes in the coming months.
Friday, January 01, 2010
My most religious friend weighs in
I gave her the whole story last night. She did not think that I'm suffering some bizarre psychosis... although, granted, it was very unlikely that SHE would. In fact, she revealed that when SHE first had experience with God she went through much the same things I did, right down to the wondering if she was going crazy. She told me it was comforting to her that *I* went through the same stuff... but how about how comforting HER experience was to ME, given how it's always seemed to me that she clearly had a connection to SOMETHING.
She thought that my revelation that karma was essentially God's subconscious mind was "profound"; we'll be spending some time talking about that one in the near future, which will hopefully lead to more insight.
A sobering thought from her was that possibly God WON'T be fixing The Bad Thing, that what he fixed was the anxiety that was crushing me and that's it. I admit that it's possible that the various "flashes" that I've had indicating that TBT was going to be fixed (including a recent one when I was preparing to put birthdays and such on my new calendar, opened it to January and thought with satisfaction, out of the blue, "THIS is the month that TBT was fixed") could have been just wishful thinking from a desperate mind... although that's how I was ready to dismiss the directly God-related things as well until He made that impossible. It's also entirely possible that TBT will be fixed purely based on my persistence, and God didn't see any need to do any more than hold me together to do so.
I admit to being disappointed that TBT has dragged on for 2 months, casting a pall over the entire holiday season and the start of a new year, a new decade, despite God's intervention in my life. It makes it hard to imagine how I'm supposed to make a convincing case for Him in the new spiritual blog when what I asked for help with is still dragging on and on weeks later. I guess this is where faith is supposed to come in... but, since He knows my nature, He knows that blind faith isn't how I operate. Of course I WANT to be able to feel faith in SOMETHING, with the hope and comfort that would come with it, the peace of mind... but, wouldn't it be foolish to have faith that He'll fix things if fixing my anxiety level is the limit of His intended help? Don't get me wrong, that's a HUGE amount of help, but what I mean is that just because He's proven to me that He'll do ONE sort of thing doesn't mean that I should then have faith that He'll do EVERYTHING... after all, not even the most religious person claims that God will do EVERYTHING He's asked to help with, or anywhere close to it.
If I in fact can't tell the difference between a message from God, either directly or via karma in the sorts of psychic flashes I've had all my life, and bursts of... wishful thinking... that'd be a serious impediment both to the development of faith and general spirituality. Barring further divine interventions, I'm dead in the water spiritually until TBT is resolved and I can sort out what happened.
God IS clearly still with me, though. My friend had gotten pretty sick in time for last night's party, although she hadn't let on to ME that she had more than a little sniffle. Yesterday morning, I asked God to help her to have the wisdom, understanding, etc that she'd need to help ME when I gave her the news (knowing that SHE would pray for that for herself if she knew such news was coming). At the party, people hadn't even finished arriving yet when she disappeared; she had gone to her room to take some medicine and try to collect herself, but she fell asleep and napped for FOUR hours. When she finally emerged, she made a repeated, dismayed issue of how she's NEVER slept with guests in her home before, much less for hours... well, really, who DOES? After she got the news, though, she revealed that she'd been so muddled pre-nap that she couldn't make proper sense of something I'd said to her, and that withOUT the nap she would've been worse than useless to me.
I told her about my having asked God to help her be ready to help ME... and we both immediately saw His hand in getting her to sleep the hours she needed (she who rarely gets 4 hours of solid sleep on her best night, as she kept reiterating) so that she could in fact provide meaningful feedback.
2010 will be an interesting year...
She thought that my revelation that karma was essentially God's subconscious mind was "profound"; we'll be spending some time talking about that one in the near future, which will hopefully lead to more insight.
A sobering thought from her was that possibly God WON'T be fixing The Bad Thing, that what he fixed was the anxiety that was crushing me and that's it. I admit that it's possible that the various "flashes" that I've had indicating that TBT was going to be fixed (including a recent one when I was preparing to put birthdays and such on my new calendar, opened it to January and thought with satisfaction, out of the blue, "THIS is the month that TBT was fixed") could have been just wishful thinking from a desperate mind... although that's how I was ready to dismiss the directly God-related things as well until He made that impossible. It's also entirely possible that TBT will be fixed purely based on my persistence, and God didn't see any need to do any more than hold me together to do so.
I admit to being disappointed that TBT has dragged on for 2 months, casting a pall over the entire holiday season and the start of a new year, a new decade, despite God's intervention in my life. It makes it hard to imagine how I'm supposed to make a convincing case for Him in the new spiritual blog when what I asked for help with is still dragging on and on weeks later. I guess this is where faith is supposed to come in... but, since He knows my nature, He knows that blind faith isn't how I operate. Of course I WANT to be able to feel faith in SOMETHING, with the hope and comfort that would come with it, the peace of mind... but, wouldn't it be foolish to have faith that He'll fix things if fixing my anxiety level is the limit of His intended help? Don't get me wrong, that's a HUGE amount of help, but what I mean is that just because He's proven to me that He'll do ONE sort of thing doesn't mean that I should then have faith that He'll do EVERYTHING... after all, not even the most religious person claims that God will do EVERYTHING He's asked to help with, or anywhere close to it.
If I in fact can't tell the difference between a message from God, either directly or via karma in the sorts of psychic flashes I've had all my life, and bursts of... wishful thinking... that'd be a serious impediment both to the development of faith and general spirituality. Barring further divine interventions, I'm dead in the water spiritually until TBT is resolved and I can sort out what happened.
God IS clearly still with me, though. My friend had gotten pretty sick in time for last night's party, although she hadn't let on to ME that she had more than a little sniffle. Yesterday morning, I asked God to help her to have the wisdom, understanding, etc that she'd need to help ME when I gave her the news (knowing that SHE would pray for that for herself if she knew such news was coming). At the party, people hadn't even finished arriving yet when she disappeared; she had gone to her room to take some medicine and try to collect herself, but she fell asleep and napped for FOUR hours. When she finally emerged, she made a repeated, dismayed issue of how she's NEVER slept with guests in her home before, much less for hours... well, really, who DOES? After she got the news, though, she revealed that she'd been so muddled pre-nap that she couldn't make proper sense of something I'd said to her, and that withOUT the nap she would've been worse than useless to me.
I told her about my having asked God to help her be ready to help ME... and we both immediately saw His hand in getting her to sleep the hours she needed (she who rarely gets 4 hours of solid sleep on her best night, as she kept reiterating) so that she could in fact provide meaningful feedback.
2010 will be an interesting year...
